I want to keep in touch with her but should I?

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    Basically I am 18 and there is this girl I like that I work but I'm not sure if it's as a friend or if I have a crush on her. She is moving to another company soon and I am devastated.

    I bought her flowers the other day as a thank you for everything she's done with me and she then hugged me and I am normally quite rigid when it comes to that but I felt so close to her, closer than I've ever felt to anyone. That moment was short but just for a brief second I felt a strong connection when we hugged and didn't want it to end. Anyway she got me a card saying she would miss me and I've been reading it over and over which is just making me upset like I said I've just never really felt as close to someone as I do her.

    I often like to think of her as a crush and I flirt with her and I think she might flirt with me sometimes though it's more playful and to be honest I don't know if she even likes me that much. She's never mentioned staying in contact with me and I don't want to seem needy but I can't imagine my life without her. I have her number and we text now and again. Although I have a crush on her I feel like I have a great chemistry with her and I don't want to ruin our relationship by making it sexual I mean i'm a virgin and I wouldn't mind losing it to her but I don't know I overthink things and worry she only likes me because we worked together and I was nice to her.

    What should i do should I just see if she's contacts me first, should I invite her out for a drink after a couple weeks and should i leave our relationship where it is or progress it? Sorry for the long question I'm just so confused at the moment and upset. I struggle socially especially with girls and she's helped me start to overcome it without knowing it.
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    (Original post by oZombiex2)
    Basically I am 18 and there is this girl I like that I work but I'm not sure if it's as a friend or if I have a crush on her. She is moving to another company soon and I am devastated.

    I bought her flowers the other day as a thank you for everything she's done with me and she then hugged me and I am normally quite rigid when it comes to that but I felt so close to her, closer than I've ever felt to anyone. That moment was short but just for a brief second I felt a strong connection when we hugged and didn't want it to end. Anyway she got me a card saying she would miss me and I've been reading it over and over which is just making me upset like I said I've just never really felt as close to someone as I do her.

    I often like to think of her as a crush and I flirt with her and I think she might flirt with me sometimes though it's more playful and to be honest I don't know if she even likes me that much. She's never mentioned staying in contact with me and I don't want to seem needy but I can't imagine my life without her. I have her number and we text now and again. Although I have a crush on her I feel like I have a great chemistry with her and I don't want to ruin our relationship by making it sexual I mean i'm a virgin and I wouldn't mind losing it to her but I don't know I overthink things and worry she only likes me because we worked together and I was nice to her.

    What should i do should I just see if she's contacts me first, should I invite her out for a drink after a couple weeks and should i leave our relationship where it is or progress it? Sorry for the long question I'm just so confused at the moment and upset. I struggle socially especially with girls and she's helped me start to overcome it without knowing it.
    Eventually you're going to tear yourself apart if you do nothing.

    Maybe she didn't mention keeping in contact because you already have her number and contact her outside of work.

    Like you said, ask her out for a 'catch-up' drink in a few weeks and see what happens. Otherwise it'll be a pretty dead friendship if you never see them again.

    Also don't invest yourself into a girl too much in this fashion. Reading over a card that does not have much meaning, thinking about losing your virginity to her etc... it will hurt if you invest yourself like this without being particularly close to her (From her point of view)
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    Definitely ask to meet up with her after a few weeks and see how things feel. If it goes well, consider asking her out.

    Try not to get too wrapped up in your own head. I tend to obsess over what tiny things mean (friendly/ flirting/ annoyed/ neutral?) and it never does me any good. When it comes down to it you have to ask what they meant / how they feel and if it's too awkward to ask you have to stop caring about it and move on.

    If you decided not to ask her out but can't get over her then try and focus on all the annoying things she does: maybe she's a bit blunt, likes food that you think smells gross or she's untidy. To be honest you sound like your crushing hard so it may be a good idea to try and do that a little bit now. Don't put her on a pedastel you may come on too strong or set yourself up for hurt if she doesn't feel the same way.
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    (Original post by monkyvirus)
    Definitely ask to meet up with her after a few weeks and see how things feel. If it goes well, consider asking her out.

    Try not to get too wrapped up in your own head. I tend to obsess over what tiny things mean (friendly/ flirting/ annoyed/ neutral?) and it never does me any good. When it comes down to it you have to ask what they meant / how they feel and if it's too awkward to ask you have to stop caring about it and move on.

    If you decided not to ask her out but can't get over her then try and focus on all the annoying things she does: maybe she's a bit blunt, likes food that you think smells gross or she's untidy. To be honest you sound like your crushing hard so it may be a good idea to try and do that a little bit now. Don't put her on a pedastel you may come on too strong or set yourself up for hurt if she doesn't feel the same way.
    Thanks for the detailed reply. I'm so confused and my mind keeps wandering so hard to know what to do. I see her as a crush when I'm away from her but when we spend time together I feel bad for picturing her sexually because what we have is special and we always make jokes about loving each other which I don't know if that might be us flirting with each other. It's hard to tell.
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    (Original post by oZombiex2)
    Thanks for the detailed reply. I'm so confused and my mind keeps wandering so hard to know what to do. I see her as a crush when I'm away from her but when we spend time together I feel bad for picturing her sexually because what we have is special and we always make jokes about loving each other which I don't know if that might be us flirting with each other. It's hard to tell.
    You don't need to feel guilty about sexual thoughts as long as you remember she's still a person who may not like you that way. You clearly like her as a person and a private sexual fantasy never did anyone any harm.

    She clearly likes you as a friend at least. So if you meet up, flirt and ask her out on a date afterwards I'm sure she'll be flattered and nice about it even if she isn't interested.

    Right now, you need to focus on other things. This crush should be a background issue not in the forefront of your mind. Throw yourself into a hobby or hang out with your friends. You need some distractions.
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    (Original post by oZombiex2)
    Basically I am 18 and there is this girl I like that I work but I'm not sure if it's as a friend or if I have a crush on her. She is moving to another company soon and I am devastated.

    I bought her flowers the other day as a thank you for everything she's done with me and she then hugged me and I am normally quite rigid when it comes to that but I felt so close to her, closer than I've ever felt to anyone. That moment was short but just for a brief second I felt a strong connection when we hugged and didn't want it to end. Anyway she got me a card saying she would miss me and I've been reading it over and over which is just making me upset like I said I've just never really felt as close to someone as I do her.

    I often like to think of her as a crush and I flirt with her and I think she might flirt with me sometimes though it's more playful and to be honest I don't know if she even likes me that much. She's never mentioned staying in contact with me and I don't want to seem needy but I can't imagine my life without her. I have her number and we text now and again. Although I have a crush on her I feel like I have a great chemistry with her and I don't want to ruin our relationship by making it sexual I mean i'm a virgin and I wouldn't mind losing it to her but I don't know I overthink things and worry she only likes me because we worked together and I was nice to her.

    What should i do should I just see if she's contacts me first, should I invite her out for a drink after a couple weeks and should i leave our relationship where it is or progress it? Sorry for the long question I'm just so confused at the moment and upset. I struggle socially especially with girls and she's helped me start to overcome it without knowing it.
    Is she single? Like others have said ask her out for drinks and just focus on other stuff. You are talking about losing your virginity to her but she may not even like you that way and you will feel crushed.
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    (Original post by monkyvirus)
    You don't need to feel guilty about sexual thoughts as long as you remember she's still a person who may not like you that way. You clearly like her as a person and a private sexual fantasy never did anyone any harm.

    She clearly likes you as a friend at least. So if you meet up, flirt and ask her out on a date afterwards I'm sure she'll be flattered and nice about it even if she isn't interested.

    Right now, you need to focus on other things. This crush should be a background issue not in the forefront of your mind. Throw yourself into a hobby or hang out with your friends. You need some distractions.
    Thanks for your answer. Like I said I overthink things so that's probably why it's on my mind so much. I consider her as a friend Ii just worry she doesn't think of me as a friend. I think I'd like things to progress but i will see once we leave if we stay in contact.
 
 
 
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