The Student Room Group

I just don't get what the deal is

This is anon as people know me on here, its a boring topic so don't say I didn't warn lol. Sorry if this seems mad but it just bothers me I don't know why.

Basically Im 19 and female and Ive been in a climbing club since I was 10 years old and still am, so have a few other people some have been there 20 years. Ive always been really quiet and I don't know why but I just like going, if it was any other climbing club I wouldn't enjoy it half as much although I do love climbing. Its not that I have any proper friends there though I do get on with people, it just makes me feel really cool for going 4 times a week and I feel good after the exersise (mainly indoors)

Anyway when I first started we were just a bunch of kids having a laugh and enjoying it too, and when the instructor said do such a exersise we had like a 'oh do I have to attitude' and even the older ones admitted it was hard work and laughed whenever they got out of something.

Ive always been really shy its just how I am but now I and a few others still go but the instructor said im strange (not a joke) and I don't know why but I also don't know why it botheres me so much Im bothered about what others think but not as much as this.:confused: Someone said to me 'as long as you enjoy it it doesn't matter' and the instructor said ' she gets something out of it but after all these years Ive yet to work out what'. I think its because when the others complain I do in a joking way too as it gives something to talk about, yet he never questions why they turn up. Ive been thought of as strange ever since I was young though for things like never wanting to show my legs and arms I always wore pants even in summer (ok thats strange) but what do you think he meant by that? Also he thinks im simple or something as instead of giving feedback he tells another girl and I just stand and listen lol. He said someone will figure me out one day even if its not in his generation. I hate being thought of as different or strange and it would be weird if I suddenly asked he would wonder what brought it up. Anyway I don't get it at all. I don't think im hated more than anyone else as hes friendly and we talk and everything but its like there is something against me.

I know this is really stupid and I shouldn't be bothered but I don't know why I am, im probably just sad lol.
Reply 1
It's something you obviously want to do - he sounds like a bit of a prick to be honest. :smile:
Reply 2
hmm i cant get what his problem is, just ignore his strange thinkings and carry on with what you enjoy doing
Whether you're strange or not isn't important here, what you wear and how quiet you are is your business. He should be polite to you as that's part of his job. Also if I understand correctly you said he won't give feedback to you and another girl but other people? Are these other people men (his comments sound a bit sexist). I've had some experience of sexist men making comments about me, like I asked for their opinion. He doesn't sound like a good instructor. In my opinion there's two things you can do, either continue and ignore his comments, maybe just laugh at them or actually ask him what he means (maybe it's not what you think) or go elsewhere.
Reply 4
Eubacterium
He should be polite to you as that's part of his job. Also if I understand correctly you said he won't give feedback to you and another girl but other people?


To be honest its not his job its voluntary, no what I meant is he referes to me in the third person (well lots of people do cause im quiet so it can be excused lol) Say if I do something wrong, instead of speaking to me and saying 'you need to do such a thing' he turns to someone else and says 'see shes not doing such a thing' With everyone else he seems to actually tell them. I sound paranoid but its true lol
It doesn't matter if it's voluntary, he should still be polite. For him not to address you directly is very disrespectful. The problem with some volunteers is that they can be quite unprofessional.
Reply 6
Eubacterium
It doesn't matter if it's voluntary, he should still be polite. For him not to address you directly is very disrespectful. The problem with some volunteers is that they can be quite unprofessional.



I'm afraid that is often just the nature of the beast, if they are volunteers then there has to be some other force that keeps them there rather than money and its usually enthusiasm and people who are very enthusiasic are quite often a tad excentric and perhaps do not possess the best social skills abd probably do not intend to appear rude but it happens. I myself fall into this catergory.

'What do you care what other people think?' - Richard P. Feynman (or rather his dying wife) ; a quote thats relevant to excentrics and those inadvertantly offended by them alike :smile:
Phoenix_151
I'm afraid that is often just the nature of the beast, if they are volunteers then there has to be some other force that keeps them there rather than money and its usually enthusiasm and people who are very enthusiasic are quite often a tad excentric and perhaps do not possess the best social skills abd probably do not intend to appear rude but it happens. I myself fall into this catergory.

'What do you care what other people think?' - Richard P. Feynman (or rather his dying wife) ; a quote thats relevant to excentrics and those inadvertantly offended by them alike :smile:

I was thinking back to times I volunteered and I behaved by what I deem to be professional. I don't see how being an eccentric excuses being rude. The instructor doesn't even sound eccentric, just bitchy.