So I met this guy on ncs and he seemed really nice so I kinda kept in touch with him along with a few other people from ncs. He wants a relationship between us and continues to ask and I have never really given him a direct answer but I made it clear I don't really want to. For the sake of things let's call him Jake (not his real name).
Two of his friends have recently told me that they think Jake is being emotionally abusive towards me. He has a go at me for talking to other guys, and I'm not allowed to talk to any of his friends or he gets very mad at me. If I do something he doesn't like he pretty much ignores me for a day or two and then calls me and assumes that I'm not mad at him for ignoring me or being mean to me.
The other day he admitted that he does get mad at me a lot but he said it's because "he is always pissed of cause of sixth form or his mates so he takes **** out on me" and that it is not my fault.
One of his friends showed me text messages from Jake to him saying that he talks to about six other girls as well as me but his friend says Jake doesn't treat the other girls the way he treats me. His two friends message me every couple of days to check up on me because of the fact they think Jake is being emotionally abusive.
I need advice on what to do and people tell me to walk away but I don't feel like I can. Every time I try to ignore him, he finds a way around it so I end up talking to him again. I don't even know if I want to ignore him completely because most of the time he is a really nice guy.
- Thread Starter
- 16-10-2016 12:53
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- 16-10-2016 15:26
Okay. Jake is totally disrespecting you and I think you know this too. If you were to way out the pros and cons with having Jake in your life, there would be more cons (which you have mentioned) rather than pros (which was only that he is a really nice guy). This guy is not nice. With the way he treats you like having a go at you because he has had a crap day is not nice at all. His friends that know him probably longer than you are worried for you. I am too and I don't even know you. I don't know this guy and he is not your boyfriend, so please if you love yourself distance yourself from negativity. He may be nice to you on a good day when things are going well for him, but all the other things you have mentioned overways that nice attitude he may have once in a while. His disrespectful, emotionally abusive and frankly immature behaviour (like when he ignores you) towards you should not be tolerated/accepted as you do not deserve that at all. Especially since you're not in a relationship.
So here are some solutions that you may find difficult but will work if you stick to it: Block him/delete him. Avoid him. Like block him off snapchat, like begin to give slow replies to his messages. Don't type a lot of text if you were to message him back. If he creeps back into your life somehow, just don't reply or say you're busy or something. If he gets pissed, that is his problem not yours. Eventually, there will be some distance between you two. And tell him 'No, you're not interested', and show him your not in for a relationship with him. Make it obvious that you don't like him.
Thing is, you have a choice to accept different people into your life. Please remember that you have a choice. And choose people that will respect you and not want to hurt you.
Lots of love
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- 20-10-2016 02:16
I agree with whats mentioned above. Sweetie... please talk to someone like your parents, siblings, friends, teachers. Someone who can be there in person to help you.
It might seem hard at first but you need a clean break from this guy.
- 124 followers
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- Very Important Poster
- 20-10-2016 02:22
You dont have to talk to him at all. You can choose never to talk to him, so you are creating your own problem. If you dont like it, then get out, but you cnat make up your mind whether you do or dont.