Feel it for my flatmate

My flatmate last year, I consider him to be a brother is going through a really hard time.

His mum died from cancer and his dad passed away a few years ago. He told me he is going to live alone and that he is selling his house since his mum passed away. I am concerned as a friend, and I just hope he is dealing with it ok.

He seems to be ok on MSN and stuff, and has told me he is going to concentrate on getting a 2:1. But I feel obliged to support him, but I just don't know how aside from reassuring him that everything will be ok and that he should concentrate on getting his degree and getting a good job.

Other then that I am unsure on how to support him through these hard times.

Thanks

Reply 1

Bismarck

That's pretty sad. :frown:

You could try spending a lot of time with him, since he'll probably feel pretty lonely, and see if you can help with the bureaucratic aspects of the house sale, since he's probably not in the state of mind to deal with the situation clearly. Otherwise, just continue being there to support him. Emotional support at a time like this can be the difference between him living a normal life and falling into a depression.

Reply 2

ma2k5

Having a close cousin have a parent pass away - the best thing is to not bring the matter up imo. Don't treat him like a charity case or show any pity or you know... Don't make him feel uncomfortable by treating him different. Maybe you can layoff the jokes a bit, other then that be normal and have fun and should be cool.

Reply 3

Mernard

From the title, I thought this was going to be about mutual masturbation :frown:

.

Anyway, I can't really recommend anything apart from just being there for your friend. Realistically you aren't going to magically make how he's feeling go away (although that'd be useful). These things take time, so all you have to do is be there for him.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

ma2k5

Yep, thats why I have not said much aside from telling him to give it his all in his last year. I have just made him laugh with the odd joke here and there (not about him - mainly making a mockery out of myself), and diverted the convo to other uni related things. But I cant help but feel it for him; I have had two family members with cancer who survived it - so it can be hard. Plus my best mate from back home, dad passed away.

It really concerns me though because he will be alone, and he has not got anyone close to confine into - no girlfriend - not many close friends and so on. He has got siblings but they living elseware, I suggested that he should remain in contact with his siblings during these hard times as they could help each other get through it. He said it was a good idea, but I dunno. I just really hope he is ok as a mate.