How would most Muslims react if a Muslim girl got married to a non-Muslim?

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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm asking because my best friend has been dating a Christian white guy or 3 years now and believes he's the one. He's a nice guy that doesn't drink but doesn't want to convert. Her parents don't know and her sister just found out recently, so yeah she had to keep it hidden. She said her parents wouldn't kill her but would probably disown her by stop talking to her, unless she can convince him to convert. She's more concerned with the backlash and the hate the Muslim community will have towards her, which is her biggest fear because apparently her life would be made a living hell.

    I don't know many Muslims apart from my friend so I wondered, how would most British Muslims really react to this?

    Are there any Muslims here that can give their view?
    #2

    I'm muslim, and practicing, and come from a very religious family, so for me, I would see nothing wrong with it because marriages are allowed along as they are with "people of the book" i.e. Christians or Jews. However, I think the man has to be Muslim so he'd have to convert if the marriage was to be seen as fully halal per se. However, I don't think it would be bad, or she'd get backlash because if she did an istikhara, she'd know for herself whether a marriage would be good.
    But Allah has a path for all of us, so at the end of the day, if things dont work out, then Allah has a greater thing planned.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm muslim, and practicing, and come from a very religious family, so for me, I would see nothing wrong with it because marriages are allowed along as they are with "people of the book" i.e. Christians or Jews. However, I think the man has to be Muslim so he'd have to convert if the marriage was to be seen as fully halal per se. However, I don't think it would be bad, or she'd get backlash because if she did an istikhara, she'd know for herself whether a marriage would be good.
    But Allah has a path for all of us, so at the end of the day, if things dont work out, then Allah has a greater thing planned.
    So what if she does end up marrying him? Would you still consider her Muslim?
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    I see how its always the non muslim thats expected to convert to islam rather than the other way round.
    She wouldn't like it if he pressurised her to become Christian so why does she find it acceptable the other way around?
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    As long as he converts to Islam it is considered fine.
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    I know many Muslims that have married Christians and Jews some have become Muslim and others haven't, I don't think there's a problem if he doesn't convert right away, if after some time he thinks the religion is for him he will convert if not then that's his choice
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So what if she does end up marrying him? Would you still consider her Muslim?
    yeah
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm asking because my best friend has been dating a Christian white guy or 3 years now and believes he's the one. He's a nice guy that doesn't drink but doesn't want to convert. Her parents don't know and her sister just found out recently, so yeah she had to keep it hidden. She said her parents wouldn't kill her but would probably disown her by stop talking to her, unless she can convince him to convert. She's more concerned with the backlash and the hate the Muslim community will have towards her, which is her biggest fear because apparently her life would be made a living hell.

    I don't know many Muslims apart from my friend so I wondered, how would most British Muslims really react to this?

    Are there any Muslims here that can give their view?
    Coming from a religious Muslim family who also keeps in very close touch with his Imam (to gain better understanding of Islam), this would be haram. The guy HAS to convert. I would seriously speak to her parents and get it sorted because first of all she has been "dating". Doesn't take long to realise that's haram. The guy has to convert otherwise it could be haram. Just to clarify that means she will be getting punished and possibly in the eyes of Allah doing what is classified as an unforgiving sin.

    Tbh, knowing the public, they would gossip the hell out of her. Knowing girls (without sounding sexist) lots of them can be immature (like men). My point is that it could just be an infatuation in the same way that many teenagers have crushes and think they have found love. I highly doubt she is in love seriously. Although if she does istakharah and still and gets others to do it also and the same result, then speak to parents etc and get him to convert. Obviously he won't feel comfortable because of obvious reasons I don't want to state so then move on.


    If she really is a good Muslim, she will find someone even better. Allah's rule is you get in what you put in. You put hardwork in you will succeed in exams , otherwise fail. You be a good muslim and person, you will find what you desire in a partner.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So what if she does end up marrying him? Would you still consider her Muslim?
    No
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    (Original post by Jeff458(#17))
    No
    On what grounds?
    #4

    You'll get various responses from Muslims suggesting that it's fine.

    Realistically speaking however, she'd be shunned and/or seen in a bad way. These same people would be okay if the genders were reversed.
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    (Original post by MuhammadDarcy)
    On what grounds?
    It's pretty clear in Islam that they both have to be Muslims. One way or another (by converting or before etc).

    Doing otherwise is going quite clearly otherwise and this is one of the biggest sins in Islam because it really is a big thing. They could end up having children etc which Islam could suggest won't be 'Muslims' even if brought up like that because the parents weren't.


    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You'll get various responses from Muslims suggesting that it's fine.

    Realistically speaking however, she'd be shunned and/or seen in a bad way. These same people would be okay if the genders were reversed.
    Interesting. But aren't Muslim men allowed to marry non Muslims though?
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Interesting. But aren't Muslim men allowed to marry non Muslims though?
    That's what I meant by "if the genders were reversed". Muslim men are and women aren't. Similarly to how polygamy is allowed but not polyandry. Both of which are minor inequalities compared to others in the religion.
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    If you re asking how I would react as a person, I would say the ideal answer is 'the girl's choices are none of my business'. If you are asking about the islamic ruling on this issue then its forbidden.*
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by CookieButter)
    If you re asking how I would react as a person, I would say the ideal answer is 'the girl's choices are none of my business'. If you are asking about the islamic ruling on this issue then its forbidden.*
    I suppose I just was intrigued if she'd still be considered Muslim in the eyes of her fellow Muslim for marrying someone she loved. Would she be shunned by the community?
    #5

    It's fine. I'm a Muslim woman and my husband is a white atheist. He didn't expect me to lose my faith so I can't expect him to want to convert to a religion he thinks isn't real. What matters in a marriage is love, not stupid and minor issues such as beliefs concerning what will happens to you once you're dead.
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    This thread is a good example of why people find religion cancerous. Yawn.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I suppose I just was intrigued if she'd still be considered Muslim in the eyes of her fellow Muslim for marrying someone she loved. Would she be shunned by the community?
    In Islam marrying a non-muslim at most renders the marriage un-islamic or not preferential depending on the religion of the partner. It has nothing to do with the woman or man being considered muslim or not. Nobody would consider her a non-muslim. To be considered a non-muslim you would have to leave Islam.*

    My wife is Christian and I am muslim. We had a big old fashioned Mediterranean marriage ceremony. The majority of our guests celebrating our marriage, were muslims.*
    *
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    Pissed off
 
 
 
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