Join TSR now for chat about life, relationships, fashion and more…Sign up now

Sometimes I'm really put off by men???

    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Especially when they around their male friends and the things they say about girls. You'd think they see girls as nothing more than sex toys and slaves. Obviously, I understand that most of the time it's locker room chat and banter. Men always want to look cool in front of their friends and pretend they are not whipped.

    But some of things I've heard men say about women when they taking amongst themselves..like wow. This includes men at work, my brother when his friends come around even my grown up uncle. Maybe it's because I really despise laddish culture and lads. I'm more into reserved men. But I suppose sometimes I wonder if that's what they really think of women and that whether they really resent women for some reason.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    It's all just locker room chat.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    I've overheard several "girly chats" about fellas and they're really no better :rofl:
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    You cannot say all guys are like this, most guys are decent and yes we do talk about girls. However dont women talk about guys ??
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Men tend to be different from women in that they treat sex and relationships very separately, so they will see certain women as "sex objects" so to speak purely because the girl is physically attractive but they don't really like her as a person. So hence "ye I'd smash" but they wouldn't be committed toward that person. But when they're actually in a relationship there's a high chance they'll genuinely care and all that lot. I can see why it's off putting though, they sound like right pricks during that sort of conversation. (never really realised it before being male myself but at some point my interest in casual sex just died entirely and suddenly everybody sounds like my 12 year old self)
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I feel the same way sometimes, but mainly just reading comments online, don't really encounter it in everyday life.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Lol were you inspired by Donald Dumptruck to write about this? I never heard of "locker room talk " before he said it
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    These thoughts plague me all the time too. It actually makes me miserable and I too wonder about the reserved guys too, what's going through their minds? I guess we just have to teach the goons, take the reigns and show them. Be clever, be wise, don't give yourself away, frown at their comments, respect yourself and make them respect you. :hugs:
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Especially when they around their male friends and the things they say about girls. You'd think they see girls as nothing more than sex toys and slaves. Obviously, I understand that most of the time it's locker room chat and banter. Men always want to look cool in front of their friends and pretend they are not whipped.

    But some of things I've heard men say about women when they taking amongst themselves..like wow. This includes men at work, my brother when his friends come around even my grown up uncle. Maybe it's because I really despise laddish culture and lads. I'm more into reserved men. But I suppose sometimes I wonder if that's what they really think of women and that whether they really resent women for some reason.
    Yup same I hear my brothers and their friends talk I'm just like 0_0

    I even hear my bf talk like that with his friends once I was like .


    What girls talk about and what guys talk about is like day and night.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Retired_Messiah)
    Men tend to be different from women in that they treat sex and relationships very separately, so they will see certain women as "sex objects" so to speak purely because the girl is physically attractive but they don't really like her as a person. So hence "ye I'd smash" but they wouldn't be committed toward that person. But when they're actually in a relationship there's a high chance they'll genuinely care and all that lot. I can see why it's off putting though, they sound like right pricks during that sort of conversation. (never really realised it before being male myself but at some point my interest in casual sex just died entirely and suddenly everybody sounds like my 12 year old self)
    giving hope to women everywhere :lol: not...

    Really? A high chance? Omg phew :rolleyes:
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    These thoughts plague me all the time too. It actually makes me miserable and I too wonder about the reserved guys too, what's going through their minds? I guess we just have to teach the goons, take the reigns and show them. Be clever, be wise, don't give yourself away, frown at their comments, respect yourself and make them respect you. :hugs:
    When guys are talking like that especially at work normally I just ignore and pretend I'm too busy to listen, do you think I should butt in some times and join in with the banter?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    When guys are talking like that especially at work normally I just ignore and pretend I'm too busy to listen, do you think I should butt in some times and join in with the banter?
    Erm that'll probably just encourage them they'll probably be like well if so and so's alright with it it must be fine in general. You could just be like 'ah will you guys shut up you're making be feel ill' or 'you'll never win any hearts with that kind of talk' and a little shake of the head.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Sometimes I'm really put off by unwarranted upward inflections???
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Aren't we all
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    tbh I've heard girls say the same kind of thing when they're amongst themselves: talking about dick size and whether they're good in bed etc
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Retired_Messiah)
    Men tend to be different from women in that they treat sex and relationships very separately, so they will see certain women as "sex objects" so to speak purely because the girl is physically attractive but they don't really like her as a person. So hence "ye I'd smash" but they wouldn't be committed toward that person. But when they're actually in a relationship there's a high chance they'll genuinely care and all that lot. I can see why it's off putting though, they sound like right pricks during that sort of conversation. (never really realised it before being male myself but at some point my interest in casual sex just died entirely and suddenly everybody sounds like my 12 year old self)
    I understand but I suppose coming from an conservative religious background I just find it shocking , and sometimes makes me not want to have a bf since he might really have the same thoughts. Yesterday at work the colleague was saying "I could marry a really super hot girl.. But if she can't cook then that'd be the worse thing ever. I need a wife that can cook or I wouldn't marry her " which is not too bad since everyone has a preference,but just the arrogance in the way he was saying it, a 29 years old man hardly that young. Then the other guy said "I know I'll regret getting married. I'd be like she doesn't put out, doesn't cook for me and spends all my money"

    To make matter ways the 29 years old said "I need to get married so I can get my wife to iron my shirts instead of doing it myself or making my mum do it"
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I understand but I suppose coming from an conservative religious background I just find it shocking , and sometimes makes me not want to have a bf since he might really have the same thoughts. Yesterday at work the colleague was saying "I could marry a really super hot girl.. But if she can't cook then that'd be the worse thing ever. I need a wife that can cook or I wouldn't marry her " which is not too bad since everyone has a preference,but just the arrogance in the way he was saying it, a 29 years old man hardly that young. Then the other guy said "I know I'll regret getting married. I'd be like she doesn't put out, doesn't cook for me and spends all my money"

    To make matter ways the 29 years old said "I need to get married so I can get my wife to iron my shirts instead of doing it myself or making my mum do it"
    That's mostly an old fashioned mind set.... many older guys, especially in rural area's wouldn't bother with women who couldn't housekeep out of principle. That being said those said women would also usually be responsible for the back office and serious large scale financial matters.

    Generally speaking however, it's guys trying to seem masculine in-front of their mates or work colleagues. Once they find 'the one' they tend to be a bit less obnoxious with their male and female divide in terms of housework.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    I agree, I think this locker room chat is a maturity thing though.

    Guys in their late teens are going through new experiences with relationships, sex etc and have a kind of pressure to be laddish and conform and this is where a lot of the bragging comes from.

    I think when you get guys who are over 21 doing it, it is a bit cringe.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    giving hope to women everywhere :lol: not...

    Really? A high chance? Omg phew :rolleyes:
    Well saying there's a 100% chance is unrealistic. Sociopaths and blokes that are generally ***** that only get into relationships for sexual or material benefits do exist. I wasn't about to generalise all men as being caring, the amount of people on here that woulda shot me down would've just been borderline offensive smh

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I understand but I suppose coming from an conservative religious background I just find it shocking , and sometimes makes me not want to have a bf since he might really have the same thoughts. Yesterday at work the colleague was saying "I could marry a really super hot girl.. But if she can't cook then that'd be the worse thing ever. I need a wife that can cook or I wouldn't marry her " which is not too bad since everyone has a preference,but just the arrogance in the way he was saying it, a 29 years old man hardly that young. Then the other guy said "I know I'll regret getting married. I'd be like she doesn't put out, doesn't cook for me and spends all my money"

    To make matter ways the 29 years old said "I need to get married so I can get my wife to iron my shirts instead of doing it myself or making my mum do it"
    Yeah if you're seriously religious I suppose it is going to come across as worse than it is. These particular men in question seem to have jaded views. Idk for certain but in my experience people that seem to spout nonsense about women spending all their money while genuinely meaning it tend to have had one or two failed relationships in the past. When it's a group of guys it's hard to say how many people genuinely feel that sort of way compared to how many just say they do so they can be in on the bants. I see quite a bit some lads are big on this sort of talk and then they go off and find somebody they genuinely love and respect and stfu entirely.

    This "if my wife can't cook it'd be hell" man is blatantly missing a great semi-romantic opportunity to help teach his gal how to cook

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    When guys are talking like that especially at work normally I just ignore and pretend I'm too busy to listen, do you think I should butt in some times and join in with the banter?
    Christ don't encourage them
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    sometimes I'm really put off by women.
    Spoiler:
    Show
    but I am quite thirsty, so, this gets old quick.
 
 
 
Write a reply… Reply
Submit reply
Updated: October 17, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Poll
Which party will you be voting for in the General Election 2017?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.