How do I forgive myself for not getting the grades I could have (and should have)?
I am so angry at myself for picking the wrong subjects (subjects that I am not good at) and then as a result having to drop one of my subjects a month before exams.
I am also so angry at myself because I know I could have got all A's if i studied harder and I should have got all A's. I am so disappointed in myself and I feel like my parents are too. As a result of my grades I probably won't be able to get into the uni I want to go to.
I know i sound stupid but the guilt and regret and the constant "what ifs" are killing me. I can't sleep, I just lie awake at night punishing myself in my head and I can't seem to move on.
I feel like my life is not going how I thought it should and I know I could have done better. I have so much guilt and regret and all I do is day dream about going back in time and doing things differently. I feel like if i did things differently I could have been so much more and achieved better things and my life would be better but now at 17 I feel like a failure.
I am dying and I just want to stop this cycle of self hate and regret and guilt but I can't seem to forgive myself.
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