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    This is anon purely because I don't want randoms/n00bs knowing it's me - most of the people I know well on these forums will know who I am, I don't mind that.

    Most of my parents friends think of me as 'the disabled girl' and it's starting to get on my nerves quite a bit. I always get those sympathizing looks and the 'oh you poor thing, can you climb down the stairs OK?' treatment amongst other things. Yes I have a visual impairment, but that hasn't stopped me getting to Oxbridge and walking down flights of stairs with 3.5 inch stiletto heels :rolleyes: One of them have children (AFAIK) has a child ith a proper disability (is wheelchair bound) and seems to think of me as having the same issues as their child. I just don't know how to deal with it anymore. I end up yelling at my parents (who are only just starting to let go a bit) and making snide/nasty comments at them. They've only just started treating me as an adult, and I really worry that they'll get all overprotective again as they become influenced by the views of people like this.

    I can't wait to get back to university. No-one thinks of me as 'special' over there.

    I'd appreciate any advice
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    ....and I can't edit anon, so please ignore my typos peeps
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    Unfortunately you can't controll how the rest of the world thinks.
    Neither should you alter the way you do things to appease the opinions of others.
    So, as harsh as it sounds, you'll just have to suck it up and deal with things.
    Try not to lose your temper though... If you find people patronising you they wont be doing it deliberately to cause you angst... You must surely accept that any offers of help or concern are examples of showing compassion for your fellow man (or woman )
    I would be inclined to smile, and say politely "thankyou for your concern but I am perfectly ok"
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    (Original post by JC.)
    Unfortunately you can't controll how the rest of the world thinks.
    Neither should you alter the way you do things to appease the opinions of others.
    So, as harsh as it sounds, you'll just have to suck it up and deal with things.
    Try not to lose your temper though... If you find people patronising you they wont be doing it deliberately to cause you angst... You must surely accept that any offers of help or concern are examples of showing compassion for your fellow man (or woman )
    I would be inclined to smile, and say politely "thankyou for your concern but I am perfectly ok"
    I think JC has put it perfectly. People are just looking out for you, but I understand this can seem patronising. Deal with it in the way JC has described and try not to let it get to you. You'll be fine. And as for walking downstairs with 3.5 stiletto heels.. I don't know many people who can do that successfully!
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    Yep I was going to say I really could never walk down stairs in 3.5 inch stiletto heels or even walk in them for that matter!

    Think what you have to remember is everyone makes snap judgments about people every day. I know I do and so does everyone, whether they like to think they do or not - it's human nature.

    However, the people who really know you and who are your friends will see you how you truly are. It sounds cheesy but its true and thats what you have to focus on.

    As for parents, they all struggle to let go. My parents are getting a lot better but every time I get home I struggle with going back to living by their rules again but they only try and protect us cos they care
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    Is it just me, or did you not actually tell us what your 'disability' was? Can't really comment without knowing. You might simply have a very mild form of it and they won't know.
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    she's visually impaired
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    (Original post by generalebriety)
    Is it just me, or did you not actually tell us what your 'disability' was? Can't really comment without knowing. You might simply have a very mild form of it and they won't know.
    i was gonna say the same - 'visual impairment' doesnt sound like blindness to me

    You wouldnt get any sympathy from me!
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    (Original post by Clubber Lang)
    i was gonna say the same - 'visual impairment' doesnt sound like blindness to me

    You wouldnt get any sympathy from me!
    have you never seen people who have milky eyes or those glasses that magnify their eyes like a million times?

    it's obviously an impairment to the extent that other people can observe it and 'pity' her for it. It's not just something that can be fixed with some cute specs or a pair of contacts.
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    (Original post by grace)
    have you never seen people who have milky eyes or those glasses that magnify their eyes like a million times?

    it's obviously an impairment to the extent that other people can observe it and 'pity' her for it. It's not just something that can be fixed with some cute specs or a pair of contacts.
    Maybe I have - but I couldn't tell that from the post......

    Also most of us probably don't know what effect it has on the person unlike the family...as someone said mayeb it doesnt affect the OP as badly as it does some peopel which iswhy she can live a more normal life.
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    Ah, ok. Well yeah, as I said, maybe it just affects other people that they know worse than it affects the OP, so they assume she's gonna need help.

    OP: I guess if it bothers you, tell them it's not really as bad as it looks/seems?
 
 
 
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