I was molested as a child. Should I seek revenge?

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    So I've had bad experiences as a child. I was molested. Not by one, two or three but 5 different people(perhaps it's my fault). I have never told anyone about this and I am not planning to, anytime soon. This is the first and possibly the last time I am saying this. Maybe this will help. Yeah it's making me sick and I do get flashbacks. I don't trust anyone anymore. I have stayed out of relationships. And a big list of other psychological challenges, as a result.
    But my question is should I tell someone? Should I seek revenge? I am asking this because people who done this to me have family, they have friends. If I tell someone they'll get in trouble but their loved ones will also suffer.
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    im sorry to hear this. the people who molested you dont deserve to have family and friends. Their family and friends should know exactly what they are like regardless of if it will hurt them. Things like this are hard and i cant give you the right answer or tell you what to do. but you shouldnt let a person who has done this get away with it. it will make them feel like they have won and have power and they may think there is nothing wrong with it and they may do it to someone else.
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    as the previous poster says these people could well be molesting their own children now...*

    if you go ahead and involve the police they will keep you anonymous but the people you accuse will be fully exposed in the media etc *
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by mkap)
    im sorry to hear this. the people who molested you dont deserve to have family and friends. Their family and friends should know exactly what they are like regardless of if it will hurt them. Things like this are hard and i cant give you the right answer or tell you what to do. but you shouldnt let a person who has done this get away with it. it will make them feel like they have won and have power and they may think there is nothing wrong with it and they may do it to someone else.
    Okay, thank you
    (Original post by the bear)
    as the previous poster says these people could well be molesting their own children now...*

    if you go ahead and involve the police they will keep you anonymous but the people you accuse will be fully exposed in the media etc *
    Right okay, thank you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've had bad experiences as a child. I was molested. Not by one, two or three but 5 different people(perhaps it's my fault). I have never told anyone about this and I am not planning to, anytime soon. This is the first and possibly the last time I am saying this. Maybe this will help. Yeah it's making me sick and I do get flashbacks. I don't trust anyone anymore. I have stayed out of relationships. And a big list of other psychological challenges, as a result.
    But my question is should I tell someone? Should I seek revenge? I am asking this because people who done this to me have family, they have friends. If I tell someone they'll get in trouble but their loved ones will also suffer.
    I think you should speak to a professional counselor so you cna get wise advice on helping you make sense of it. Its an issue you need to coem to terms with if possible to lessen the impact it will have in messing up your life and making you miserable/ unhappy/ depressed/ stressed/ traumatised.

    If you contact someone anonymously the helplines are confidential and you cna talk about the issues with them. If these people have done bad things to you, then yes you should tell someone becayse they shouldnt be allowed to get away with it at your expense. Be careful though as its a very serious allegation to make, so you need to be sure and make the allegation to the correct person to make sure you are heard.

    Do not contact these people or their families directly.

    If you are under 18 then contact childline 0800 1111

    If you are over 18
    NAPAC National Association People Abused in Childhood
    0808 801 0331
    http://napac.org.uk/contact/
    https://www.havoca.org/every-survivo...er/contact-us/


    There is also some good guidance from the NSPCC about non recent abuse and answers to key questions.

    https://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-...-recent-abuse/

    Be aware seeking revenge isnt always the best course and revenge itself might not give you the satisfaction or healing you are looking for. That said seeking justice is slightly different and more positive. You can talk these things through with your advisor.Your GP is also an option of someone to talk to in confidence.When you feel comfortable the above adbisors can advise you about contacting the police.Take care.
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    How did this happen are these people connected to eachother? Are they part of some ring or something?

    Really sorry you had to go through that no child deserves abuse please don't blame yourself it is not your fault.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    I think you should speak to a professional counselor so you cna get wise advice on helping you make sense of it. Its an issue you need to coem to terms with if possible to lessen the impact it will have in messing up your life and making you miserable/ unhappy/ depressed/ stressed/ traumatised.

    If you contact someone anonymously the helplines are confidential and you cna talk about the issues with them. If these people have done bad things to you, then yes you should tell someone becayse they shouldnt be allowed to get away with it at your expense. Be careful though as its a very serious allegation to make, so you need to be sure and make the allegation to the correct person to make sure you are heard.

    Do not contact these people or their families directly.

    If you are under 18 then contact childline 0800 1111

    If you are over 18
    NAPAC National Association People Abused in Childhood
    0808 801 0331
    http://napac.org.uk/contact/
    https://www.havoca.org/every-survivo...er/contact-us/


    There is also some good guidance from the NSPCC about non recent abuse and answers to key questions.

    https://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-...-recent-abuse/

    Be aware seeking revenge isnt always the best course and revenge itself might not give you the satisfaction or healing you are looking for. That said seeking justice is slightly different and more positive. You can talk these things through with your advisor.Your GP is also an option of someone to talk to in confidence.When you feel comfortable the above adbisors can advise you about contacting the police.Take care.
    Thank you. I really appreciate this, thank you
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    How did this happen are these people connected to eachother? Are they part of some ring or something?

    Really sorry you had to go through that no child deserves abuse please don't blame yourself it is not your fault.
    Well I won't say they are a ring. But they do know each other. These are the people I grew up around. Maybe because my parents were away so they got away. My dad lived away from home and mum never really cared. She was too busy living her life. These are the people they trusted.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am asking this because people who done this to me have family, they have friends. If I tell someone they'll get in trouble but their loved ones will also suffer.
    They made their bed, why shouldn't they lie in it?

    All actions have consequences; they obviously didn't care about how the consequences of their actions will affect you, why should you care about how their actions affect them?

    Besides, they could still be molesters, or have molested other kids. It's in the best interests of society for them to be locked up/rehabilitated.
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    Hi, I know exactly how you feel and if you PM me we can talk about it?

    I think you should get some professional counselling or therapy and consider joining support groups to get a clearer head. Trust me, telling someone about these things can really help and make you feel almost relieved and a huge weight off your shoulders. And finally:

    It is never too late to make a police report or to seek help. Many sexual assault victims do not report the crime immediately. A delayed report is better than no report at all. Many survivors who did not report their victimization immediately have found that making a late police report -- days, weeks, months, or years later -- helped them to feel a sense of empowerment and resolution. Since most rapists are repeat offenders, your report may also help the police identify a crime pattern or an assailant who has attacked other victims.

    I'm really sorry this happened to you, and once again, I am always here to talk about it and offer help.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've had bad experiences as a child. I was molested. Not by one, two or three but 5 different people(perhaps it's my fault). I have never told anyone about this and I am not planning to, anytime soon. This is the first and possibly the last time I am saying this. Maybe this will help. Yeah it's making me sick and I do get flashbacks. I don't trust anyone anymore. I have stayed out of relationships. And a big list of other psychological challenges, as a result.
    But my question is should I tell someone? Should I seek revenge? I am asking this because people who done this to me have family, they have friends. If I tell someone they'll get in trouble but their loved ones will also suffer.
    What is it you seek?
    Retribution maybe?
    Or do you feel morally obliged to not serve revenge as a result of what would be your consequences?

    It's up to you but if you feel you'd be more happy knowing they'd be locked away or something etc than the happiness of the family and friends you're affecting go ahead and do it.
    The question is who will be affected more? You from stress and painful flashbacks or their friends and family in disbelief that their friend/family did do it?
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    Seek some mental helath therapy so you can avoid thinking about it and you have someone to talk to about it

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well I won't say they are a ring. But they do know each other. These are the people I grew up around. Maybe because my parents were away so they got away. My dad lived away from home and mum never really cared. She was too busy living her life. These are the people they trusted.
    were these part of a religious group was it at church or the mosque or something? Are you a boy or girl and were they men or women?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you. I really appreciate this, thank you
    Try and understand what happened, why and accept it wasnt your fault. Follow the path that looks after your interests and lest you heal yourslf. It is possible to do that and live most of a normal life, but you can never beat yourself up.

    Dont let it rob you of your future.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've had bad experiences as a child. I was molested. Not by one, two or three but 5 different people(perhaps it's my fault). I have never told anyone about this and I am not planning to, anytime soon. This is the first and possibly the last time I am saying this. Maybe this will help. Yeah it's making me sick and I do get flashbacks. I don't trust anyone anymore. I have stayed out of relationships. And a big list of other psychological challenges, as a result.
    But my question is should I tell someone? Should I seek revenge? I am asking this because people who done this to me have family, they have friends. If I tell someone they'll get in trouble but their loved ones will also suffer.
    So sorry to hear that you had to go through so much as a child. But, you don't need to think so much, because they never thought before molesting you. Even you have family and a life, I'm not saying taking revenge is the best option, but you could share it with some one at least, may be your parents, and they will decide what should be done. You don't have to think about them getting into trouble, and they should understand the mistake that they did. Be brave and go ahead.
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    What sort of revenge are you thinking of?
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    were these part of a religious group was it at church or the mosque or something? Are you a boy or girl and were they men or women?
    I am a boy, turned 18 last week. They were men. No, they were not a group. My dad's cousins and their son(my cousins I guess), family friends.
    (Original post by yungaheartz)
    What sort of revenge are you thinking of?
    If I'd tell someone. What I meant was if I tell someone and then they tell the police, they will be locked down but their family will also suffer.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by will'o'wisp)
    What is it you seek?
    Retribution maybe?
    Or do you feel morally obliged to not serve revenge as a result of what would be your consequences?

    It's up to you but if you feel you'd be more happy knowing they'd be locked away or something etc than the happiness of the family and friends you're affecting go ahead and do it.
    The question is who will be affected more? You from stress and painful flashbacks or their friends and family in disbelief that their friend/family did do it?
    You are right. They should be punished but at the same time I'll feel really bad for their family.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am a boy, turned 18 last week. They were men. No, they were not a group. My dad's cousins and their son(my cousins I guess), family friends.

    If I'd tell someone. What I meant was if I tell someone and then they tell the police, they will be locked down but their family will also suffer.
    are you white and born in the UK and what about them?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    are you white and born in the UK and what about them?
    Well my dad is French and my mum is indian. I was born in India and lived there for 13 years but now I live in the UK. I think they were Indian aswell
 
 
 
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