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Can a relationship survive class divide

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Reply 20

Allie4

It won't survive so long as you continue to have a problem with it, because it sounds like you clearly do

Reply 21

user382

Original post by Anonymous

Hi I have a bit of a problem. I started a relationship with a guy about 4 months ago when we discovered we were going to the same university we become really close, however I'm really struggling to cope with the "class divide" that exists between our families.

I really don't want to sound snobby but his family are incredibly working class whereas my family is rather middle class. For example his parents live in a council house and I live in a large Victorian house. His family went to an underachieving state school, I went to a decent boarding school etc.

I never thought something like this would be a problem but I'm finding it really difficult to feel comfortable with his family, and to an extent him when he is with his family. His family act like a bunch of football hooligans! They are constantly yelling, come across as very aggressive, are covered head to toe in tatooes and piercings only eat take away or fast food meals and use foul language, even around their kids. Normally my boyfriend acts very kind, loving and respectable and you wouldn't be able guess he comes from this kind of family but when he is around his family he acts just like them.

So to cut to the chase: can a relationship survive such a major class divide? I love my boyfriend and we both agreed we are in it for the long term. I just don't know if I can cope with his family forever. I'm terrified for when our two families will meet. I really don't think my parents will approve. Also I don't know if I would be happy having these people as my inlaws or as grandparents, aunts and uncles to any kids we might have (maybe getting a bit ahead of myself here). I also feel guilty for being so judgemental :frown:

Thanks for reading and for any advice.

This is nothing to do with class divide.

This is a reflection on them as people not a reflection of their class. SMH

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 22

Reality Check

Original post by stefano865

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fb-f8CTafHs

Aah, Wayne and Waynetta Slob. How we miss them!

Reply 23

999tigger

Original post by Anonymous

It's most certainly not about how much money and property they have I don't care about that. My mother came from a tiny working class Welsh mining village and I still love and respect her and her family more than I can possibly express in words. It really is their behaviour I dislike. They act so aggressive towards each other. I would never think about yelling and swearing in front on guests and children yet they do it constantly. My boyfriend doesn't swear or yell but he laughs and jokes along with them and doesn't seem to care about their behaviour.

Then when you talk to your bg you cna point out those issues. You made it one of class, bit you do realise not all working class people are like that? Being borish loid and agressive isnt limited to the working class.

Perhaps your bf is just used to it and doesnt see it as threatening as you do? Of oy bothers you (as it sees to) then either avoid them and or talk to him about it so you reach an understanding and he can reassuresure you plus you are more at ease with things. I think its a bit early to be worrying about each others family, unless they are actively unwelcoming or hostile to you. They arent asking you to live with them and you dont have to visit often. In fact theres no need that your families should meet for a long time.

Reply 24

doodle_333

You don't have to share the same values as his family to get along with them. You don't even have to see them that much. You certainly don't need to be worrying about marriage and in laws until you're engaged.

Maybe if you make more of an effort with them you can see their good sides too.

Reply 25

jermybrown

"I didn't feel aware of class differences at university. Three of my closest friends had been to comps; we were all pretty much lower middle class, all from quite similar backgrounds."