Am I a psychopath?

My mum came to visit me at my year abroad uni. She was there for 4 days+an evening.

1st eve I with her
2nd day with her all day
3rd day I was playing sport till 5pm then we met up after
4th day hiking all day with her
5th day I wanted a rest so she went walking then we went out in evening
She's saying she felt unwelcome because I wasn't with her more....

She said she's been really shaken with "how I am" and how I don't care about her when I spoke to her on skype yesterday. She said she spend so much money to come there (£800 including flights and everything apparently) and expected something out of it

I wanted a bit of privacy, which is not unreasonable I think. Am I just an ******* or is she being unreasonable?

Reply 1

leoq8

16

I think it's both of you.

I think you need to understand that she is flying over just to see you. You are her son and she probably hasn't physically been with you in a while and wants to spend most of her time there with you. However, your mum needs to realise that you are a uni student, I assume, so you are going to be busy with other things. Maybe you guys didn't plan a good time for her to come over?

Reply 2

caitlintheshark

1

If she just invited herself and decided herself to spend all that money to visit you, I personally dont think she should be expecting anything of you. Of course you would want your privacy. You spent time together for 5 days. I think she is expecting too much from you.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by finlay4

I think it's both of you.

I think you need to understand that she is flying over just to see you. You are her son and she probably hasn't physically been with you in a while and wants to spend most of her time there with you. However, your mum needs to realise that you are a uni student, I assume, so you are going to be busy with other things. Maybe you guys didn't plan a good time for her to come over?

I took 2 days off uni to be with her, the other 2 days were the weekend. There's not that much to do in the city, which I did warn her of beforehand

Reply 4

leoq8

16

Original post by Anonymous

I took 2 days off uni to be with her, the other 2 days were the weekend. There's not that much to do in the city, which I did warn her of beforehand

well, you know the answer yourself it seems :smile:

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by caitlintheshark

If she just invited herself and decided herself to spend all that money to visit you, I personally dont think she should be expecting anything of you. Of course you would want your privacy. You spent time together for 5 days. I think she is expecting too much from you.

Yeah we don't even have that much in common in terms of hobbies/interests as you can imagine. She got to see a very nice city and beautiful scenery (alps). She was shocked that I hadn't been beating myself up over this for the last week

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by finlay4

well, you know the answer yourself it seems :smile:

Sorry. I'm just trying to tell it from my point of view. Please tell me if I'm being unreasonable, that's what I'm trying to find out

Reply 7

leoq8

16

Original post by Anonymous

Sorry. I'm just trying to tell it from my point of view. Please tell me if I'm being unreasonable, that's what I'm trying to find out

Nah, no need to be sorry. I genuinely don't believe you're being unreasonable. You informed her that there isn't going to be much to do etc., so, what can you say? Tell her that you told her there wasn't going to be much to do when she came and she's getting mad over her own fault, prob apologise because it's your mum but as long as you know yourself you were right that's all that matters tbh

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by finlay4

Nah, no need to be sorry. I genuinely don't believe you're being unreasonable. You informed her that there isn't going to be much to do etc., so, what can you say? Tell her that you told her there wasn't going to be much to do when she came and she's getting mad over her own fault, prob apologise because it's your mum but as long as you know yourself you were right that's all that matters tbh