The Student Room Group

am I right to feel pissed off?

My parents have decided to move to another country before I finish my degree. This means that when university ends I'll have no where to live in this country and won't have enough money to live anywhere until I get a job. Finding a job can take months! Living with them isn't an option really cause I wouldn't be able to get a job there (language would be a problem, and I don't want to leave my friends behing for the millionth time).
I think if I were you that I'd feel more worried than pissed off, and therefore spending my time sorting things out and doing things for the very near future instead of wasting it by being annoyed at a decision my Mum and Dad had made. They have probably thought that you are old enough - which it sounds like you are - to handle them moving away; I assume they are retired and so on? They're doing something for them. They've spent the last however many years doing everything for you. So... don't be pissed off. It'd come to a point where you'd have to move out and find a job anyway.
Reply 2
Hmm.... it's tricky... the same is gonna happen to me, my parents are already looking into properties in France and just need to sell there house... i'm going to be a first year at uni this coming year!!! It's selfish of them, but they can't just hang around for you (or indeed in my case for me, my sister and brother!!) as you are an adult and could find a place to live yourself if need be. Obviously the right opportunity has come up for them and they figure you no longer 'need' them.

I do see why you're annoyed.. i am slightly miffed as well, but hey i'd like to think if it were me and my child had gone off to uni and turned into an adult they would be looking for their own place ASAP rather than coming back home again.

There is the issue of finding somewhere to live though, which clearly is a problem as you have more to worry about right now 9ie your degree), but if i were you i'd talk to my parents and say Hey, where will i live when you go... would you be able to look into some possibilities for me as i really don't have any time to sort this out.

Lol you never know you could make them feel guilty and they may offer you the house in the UK on a part time basis until you find somewhere more permanent... or failing that may have already considered you and are planning on paying for somewhere for you to live?!
Reply 3
bloodredbeat
I think if I were you that I'd feel more worried than pissed off, and therefore spending my time sorting things out and doing things for the very near future instead of wasting it by being annoyed at a decision my Mum and Dad had made. They have probably thought that you are old enough - which it sounds like you are - to handle them moving away; I assume they are retired and so on? They're doing something for them. They've spent the last however many years doing everything for you. So... don't be pissed off. It'd come to a point where you'd have to move out and find a job anyway.


thanks so much for the assumptions. I have been planning like mad. What annoys me is that I've never had any financial support, my entire family is poor. The fact that they are moving away means I'll not be able to afford to live meaning I'll get into debt and I'm sick of being poor.

Generally you find a job before you move out, otherwise what's the point?
Reply 4
I was in the same situation at the end of the day they cant live they're live by your plans so you just have to work around it. I was in a job I didnt like for 2 years but paid the bills and know just started my masters etc. Yes I could blame my mum for going away but sometimes your parents yhave to take the opportunities they get.
Loads of people just start sharing places with their mates though straight away, don't they?
Reply 6
most of my friends live locally and don't plan on moving out!

But I had a friend offer me a place a few minutes ago so I guess life is rosier :p:
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thanks so much for the assumptions. I have been planning like mad. What annoys me is that I've never had any financial support, my entire family is poor. The fact that they are moving away means I'll not be able to afford to live meaning I'll get into debt and I'm sick of being poor.

Generally you find a job before you move out, otherwise what's the point?


Okay. If you don't tell the whole story, of course someone is going to assume something. So please don't act as if I just 'jumped' to an immediate conclusion.
Reply 8
yeah, crash with mates if possible and then get a job and maybe pay them some rent.

I don't think you have a right to be pissed off... they're still letting you stay with them, it's just that you dont want to. There must be some work you could do if you went there, e.g. in a British pub or something? You could try and learn some simple phrases before you go.
Reply 9
You could, you know, start looking for a job before you graduate?

edit: maybe we only do that in America
No you're not right.
Reply 11
Don't be so ridiculous - your an adult, stand on your own two feet.

You are able to look for a job before you leave uni, and you aren't restricted to those roles which have the word graduate in the job title.

As for being sick of being poor, I won't comment on your experience as I don't know your background but the only way to stop it is to work yourself up from the poverty line - if your main job doesn't pay enough work a second job.
Instead of sittin infront of the computer complaining about your situation shouldnt you be out there in the big bad world trying to get yourself sorted? I understand you are annoyed at the situation but you need to understand that your parents are people too and when we the children reach a certain age we cannot depend on them for so much, they are people too and deserve a right to have a life that does not revolve around the children 24/7. Your off the university, your all grown up now and as much as you think you need your parents there will eventually come a time for all of us when we have to take that jump from the nest and spread our wings.
What you need to be doing right now is job hunting, anywhere and everywhere, dont be picky about job offers you need something, anything thats just a start. McDs might not be glamourous but they have a huge turn over rate and are constantly recruiting (benefits aint so bad either).
Just need to get out there and find a job, it wont find you unfortunatly.
Reply 13
Honestly: yes, I would be annoyed. It can be very hard for grads to get jobs (before or after they leave uni) that pay enough for them to support themselves instantly. I think one of the main reasons I'd be annoyed is that my parents would never do that, so if they did it would be a shock! I don't expect my parents to support me forever but it'd be nice if they assisted me in getting on my feet and I'd feel a bit sad if they were so desperate to leave the country that they couldn't wait a few years to give me some roots to hang onto for a little bit.