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Have you ever been this pathetic?

Anonilly for the time being..

In your lifetime, have you ever met anyone whom the idea of being with them has made you want to lie in bed at 4 in the afternoon and snuggle in and dream...makes you watch yourself in the mirror, envisaging the moment you confess to them...has made you whisper in your mind "...i Love you, so, so much..." and linger in the moment...

A person whom has only connected with you on a mental level in your own mind...

Even when you realise how foolish you are to be so obsessed...you still don't want to give up hope, no matter how many times friends have told you to move on?

Someone you dare not approach (until you are at your best) for you know you will come off badly...I mean, when has it ever worked out well when one party is head-over-heels..and the other hardly knows they exist...

Someone that once you imagine being with, you can't even consider being with anyone else....as if you are settling...

have you ever been in such a pathetic mess?

Reply 1

yellow96

15

No.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

lucky, i guess.

Reply 3

WokSz

17

Nope! I'm assuming you have?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

absolutely...was looking for a comment from someone who has, that might make me see something i haven't already thought about...

So far im the only miserable loser...

Reply 5

JC.

19

Dont think about it... do it.
Live the dream. :smile:

Reply 6

8urtay

reminds me of a poem lol.

Guess i've been in the same situation, but that was likely different... plus it wasn't a long term feeling, you see they were also guys (yes, they).. so i couldn't approach them because they were both str8 and well it was quite frustrating... :redface:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

8urtay

reminds me of a poem lol.

Guess i've been in the same situation, but that was likely different... plus it wasn't a long term feeling, you see they were also guys (yes, they).. so i couldn't approach them because they were both str8 and well it was quite frustrating... :redface:

its similar, there are boundaries that are statistically against me i guess, but its different in that i had this feeling since i first met her, nearly one year ago

Reply 8

8urtay

Anonymous

its similar, there are boundaries that are statistically against me i guess, but its different in that i had this feeling since i first met her, nearly one year ago

what kind of boundaries?

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

JC.

Dont think about it... do it.
Live the dream. :smile:

i come to the "****-it" point nearly every week, and then i just back out, thinking no. not yet.

A few more gym sessions...teeth whiteners, haircuts...

Reply 10

yellow96

15

How many teeth whiteners are you planning on having?! Seriously though, you're pursuing this girl, which means that you may get to do her one day. She's going to see you when you're all sweaty and unkempt (if you're lucky), so stop obsessively preening yourself and ask her out.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

racial, religious, cultural and social...it doesn't put me off, just makes me...a lot more careful to approach.

I only get one first impression.

And I don't have the sort of luck it takes to become close through circumstance...

I have to do the pushing to get the connection closer...

It's not to the point where I would cause a problem if rejected, naturally I would be disappointed, but I just want things to be perfect and not mess up my chance, which so far i haven't, admitedly by avoiding her. So the only thing i can think of, is to come up with a plan, but it sort of creeps me out, and I don't want to be that guy...but it's the best way i see things working to my advantage

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Thelfo

How many teeth whiteners are you planning on having?! Seriously though, you're pursuing this girl, which means that you may get to do her one day. She's going to see you when you're all sweaty and unkempt (if you're lucky), so stop obsessively preening yourself and ask her out.

honestly, I could care less if she was abstinent.
I understand what you are saying, but the only way I will get a chance to be steady with her, is if she is attracted to me initially.

I am confident (hopeful) that my personality will win her over, but to get the chance for her to see the side requires her to give me the chance...and I don't want to mess it up >_<

In the beginning of all (3) of my long-term relationships, I have never approached the girl and made the first move, and I know her standards will be high, and she is totally and utterly worth it. I know one day I will, its just really hard waiting for that day to come, and it's easy to say, seize the day and usually i wouldn't give it a second thought, but this is different, she is different and without a strategy I don't think I will even attempt to...

having a strategy, is alright, right?

Reply 13

Vetinari

8

Good luck!

I hope she doesn't disappoint you - and I don't mean by rejecting you. :smile:

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Vetinari

Good luck!

I hope she doesn't disappoint you - and I don't mean by rejecting you. :smile:

i know what you mean, i hope so too...not that its her responsibility to live up to my expectations, but she has my most desired qualities in a girl and in a partner...she is as close to perfect as i have ever seen...

Reply 15

Anonymous #2

You will probably have to wake up sooner or later and accept that daydreaming about some girl, without approaching her, really is pointless and you're wasting your time. The longer you do it, the more you prepare yourself to disappointment when reality slaps you in the face.

You reach a point where you've created an image of someone which is almost entirely made up in your head, who doesn't actually exist.

The fact that you don't actually know this person (much) shows that it's mainly infatuation. Maybe she appears so attractive that you tell yourself "Oh how my life would change if I could be with her. The happiness it would bring is undescribable".

You also have to accept that it's not because you "want" someone so much that you somehow understand them or deserve them more than anyone else.
If you can't accept this, you're no longer seeing the girl as an individual but more like a potential possession in an obsessive way.

I spent way too much time during my high school years, infatuated by girls I barely spoke to. It would come to the point where I would sometimes ride up to a girl's house and stand there for a while, just hoping that somehow she would come running out, happy to see me.

You're either going to learn the hard way or get over it quickly. What's more likely is that it will be the hard way.

In a way, I actually miss the infatuation I used to have when I was a bit younger. Most of the time the infatuation was with a girl I actually knew reasonably well, but whom I didn't ever know how to approach, being the big fat loser I was back then. The strong feelings that you experience are so strong and despite having a couple of relationships where I really felt close to the girl, I don't think that "desire" has ever been that powerful. The trouble is, it's often the wrong type of desire: because something is missing in your life to make you the person you want to be, you believe that everything will somehow sort itself out if you can just have that one girl.

After many wasted opportunities, disappointments, unhappy relationships, I don't think I'll ever be infatuated the same way ever. But actually it's probably a good thing.

Reply 16

falls_whisper

14

Yes I have, then I made myself get over it. Although I don't think it was to quite the same extent as what you described, but it was infatuation definitely. There is a fine line between genuine liking and infatuation.

If you are planning to make a move, be sure it's because you like the girl and not just because of the obsession. I realised towards the end that I didn't really like him at all, but just the idea of liking someone - he was my first crush :smile:

. Otherwise you'll be truly disappointed in the relationship.

Reply 17

ssk2

10

Grow a pair?

Reply 18

ßlαcksωαn

17

I am a pethetic mess.
I've done alot of things...
No bigger, do what you want.

Reply 19

Wild Thing

11

Anonymous

having a strategy, is alright, right?

Of course!!

How do you plan on approaching her then and starting conversation?? Starting to talk to someone whom you've never met or have anything in common (in terms of friends, clubs etc) is always really really really hard.

Have you ever been this pathetic?

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