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Past self harm- now left with the scars of my stupidity.
In my mid teens I self harmed a great deal (I spent a period of 18months in hospital for depression). I haven't self harmed now for well over 2 years the problem is I am still left with the scars on my arms. The scars have improved over time but they are still very visable- it is also quite obv to others that it is self harm.
I suppose the point of this post is that I am starting university this year and I don't want my scars to be an issue. With friends and at work I am able to wear short sleeves because these people are accepting and they see me as well etc. I'm just really worried about uni and ppl seeing my scars and treating me as though I am still unwell. I'm not sure whether to just hide them or be up front about it.
I was wondering if ppl have any advice or have gone through similar problems themself?
I suppose the point of this post is that I am starting university this year and I don't want my scars to be an issue. With friends and at work I am able to wear short sleeves because these people are accepting and they see me as well etc. I'm just really worried about uni and ppl seeing my scars and treating me as though I am still unwell. I'm not sure whether to just hide them or be up front about it.
I was wondering if ppl have any advice or have gone through similar problems themself?
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Reply 2
One my friends (wont say her name), has loads of scars on her arms from self harming. To be honest we never though anything bad about it or even mentioned it until she told us. People at uni are very accepting and non-judgemental about things like this, she even got loads of support from everyone in case she started again.
Reply 3
Coconut oils and creams are good at reducing the obviousness of scarring. Walk into any pharmecy store and ask them if they have creams to reduce the obviousness (not sure if that is a word..) of pregnancy stretch marks.
People can be accepting, but to the people who arn't they don't deserve your time. If your scars make you feel uncomfortable try wearing arm bracers untill you get more used to having them in larger groups of people.
People can be accepting, but to the people who arn't they don't deserve your time. If your scars make you feel uncomfortable try wearing arm bracers untill you get more used to having them in larger groups of people.
Reply 4
People at university are very mature about things like this, most dont judge a book by its cover so don't worry. If anyone does then like its been said, they arn't worth your time or effort. Just go in and be yourself and if anyone does ask about the scars then you can tell them as much or as little as you want. People are going to want to be around you for your personality, they won't avoid you over a few scars.
Reply 5
That sounds tricky. You might want to find out who your real friends are before you start wearing t-shirts. You probably don't want that sort of attention in freshers week. Yes people can be very accepting, but there is bound to be a bit of bitching going on when groups are forming and so on. But what do I know, do what you think is right. It shouldn't be an issue. Well done for stopping btw.
Hey,
Firstly, a product called Bio-Oil seems to work wonders for reducing scars and stretch marks etc, it's about £6 for a 60ml bottle (if I remember correctly) which sounds expensive, but it is effective.
Aside from that, I think that the majority of people at university are not judgemental and quite mature. You'll probably be a lot more aware of them than other people (no matter how visible they are). I guess the thing I'm trying to say is do what feels comfortable to you - if you would like to wear a short sleeved shirt then go for it, the majority of people won't have a problem, and, the small minority that do are not worth worrying about. You won't be alone in this, try not to worry.
Firstly, a product called Bio-Oil seems to work wonders for reducing scars and stretch marks etc, it's about £6 for a 60ml bottle (if I remember correctly) which sounds expensive, but it is effective.
Aside from that, I think that the majority of people at university are not judgemental and quite mature. You'll probably be a lot more aware of them than other people (no matter how visible they are). I guess the thing I'm trying to say is do what feels comfortable to you - if you would like to wear a short sleeved shirt then go for it, the majority of people won't have a problem, and, the small minority that do are not worth worrying about. You won't be alone in this, try not to worry.
To the OP, well done for stopping self harming and good luck with university.
In my experience, i have seen immaturity displayed by a number of people of all ages at university. Yes uni is fairly open minded in some respects, but you are also dealing with a melting pot of people just like society, wherre people come in with very different beliefs and experiences. I think it is wise to be aware of the fact that people may not always respond in a positive light, but don´t let it stop you from doing what you want to do!
In my experience, i have seen immaturity displayed by a number of people of all ages at university. Yes uni is fairly open minded in some respects, but you are also dealing with a melting pot of people just like society, wherre people come in with very different beliefs and experiences. I think it is wise to be aware of the fact that people may not always respond in a positive light, but don´t let it stop you from doing what you want to do!
Firstly... Im very proud of you for managing to stop for 2 years!! Thats great! I think that at uni people will be more accepting, but if you feel really uncomfortable wear long sleeves until you do feel comfotable! Its not like its warm or anything lol! good luck and Im sure you will be fine! Just do what makes you feel comfortable!!! 
xxx
xxxReply 9
Thanks for all the responses. I think that durinmg freshers I will try and hide my arms and then when I feel comfortable it shouldn't be such an issue.
I just wish I had never done it to myself- wish I had listened to people at the time who told me that I would regret it!
Thanks for listening.
I just wish I had never done it to myself- wish I had listened to people at the time who told me that I would regret it!
Thanks for listening.
Reply 10
I'm in the same situation as you but perhaps a few years forwards. I have scars all over the place and over the years I've learned that if people aren't willing to accept you for who you are (scars and all) then they aren't worth being around.
You've done incredibly well over the past two years and should be proud to walk down the street with your head held high wearing whatever your heart desires.
'We are all products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it'
Hope that helps good luck with uni
xxxxx
You've done incredibly well over the past two years and should be proud to walk down the street with your head held high wearing whatever your heart desires.
'We are all products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it'
Hope that helps good luck with uni
xxxxx
Reply 11
I'm sorta in the same situation but it's a lot easier. I have only self harmed twice in the past 3 years, but when I used to do it I did it a lot. if you look carefull you can see about 30ish scars on my left arm (its obvious when i tan a bit, but im so pale you don't notice much difference between my arm and the scar tissue unless you're looking for it).
so i'm lucky in a sense that it's not an issue unless I tan or osmeone is specifically looking for it. I'd go with the poster who said cover up in the first week while you're all forming first impressions etc, and then gradually be a bit more open after that. my story to nurses and stuff when I gave blood was that when i was younger i put my arm through a window which shattered. they might be suspicious but hey, it's your story, what can they do?
so i'm lucky in a sense that it's not an issue unless I tan or osmeone is specifically looking for it. I'd go with the poster who said cover up in the first week while you're all forming first impressions etc, and then gradually be a bit more open after that. my story to nurses and stuff when I gave blood was that when i was younger i put my arm through a window which shattered. they might be suspicious but hey, it's your story, what can they do?
I can understand why you wish you hadn't done it...I don't know if this would make sense, but perhaps try to view your scars as something which, at that particular time, was a coping mechanism, and feel stronger for now having scars, rather than recent marks, and be proud for coming out the other side.
Reply 13
I still have some self-harm scars and I feel about embarrassed about them now. It's like...how did I ever lose so much control? A lot of the marks were made after I had man trouble and looking back I'm wondering why the hell I mutilated my body just because of some arsehole.
As Prozac said: "We are all products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it" very very very very very true. Let the scars fade and let yourself grow.
As Prozac said: "We are all products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it" very very very very very true. Let the scars fade and let yourself grow.
Reply 14
Congratulations on pulling yourself together and getting into uni, you have a lot to be proud of!
As for the scars. You should probably look at it like this : Anyone who recognises where they came from and thinks there's something hilarious about it is just the sort of cretin you don't want to talk to anyway. Think of it as an early warning system, that person has displayed their cheerful, wonderful disposition right up front so you don't have to waste your time finding out they aren't worth the steam off your ...er..tea
If one of my friends decided it was funny that someone had been in that much pain , I'd probably punch them in the throat
I'd suggest against the punching though
As for the scars. You should probably look at it like this : Anyone who recognises where they came from and thinks there's something hilarious about it is just the sort of cretin you don't want to talk to anyway. Think of it as an early warning system, that person has displayed their cheerful, wonderful disposition right up front so you don't have to waste your time finding out they aren't worth the steam off your ...er..tea
If one of my friends decided it was funny that someone had been in that much pain , I'd probably punch them in the throat
I'd suggest against the punching though
Just to add to my previous post... Please don't let this affect your confidence during those first crucial weeks at university, and do what ever makes you feel confident enough to spark friendships. Please don't be a slave to your past: you got over it and that is something to be very proud of. There will-I'm sure- be people who judge you soley on your past, there always are such people, but the fact that you have got through it has to be a strength to you to give you the confidence to be proud of who you have become! Even if you cover up the scars at first, I sincerly (god I can never spell it...) hope that you will have the confidence and the pride to eventually show people just how strong you actually are. Your scars are no longer a sign of weakness in your self... They are now a sign of significant strength. You got through it! And we are ALL proud of you and Pleased for you!
SO... Go and enjoy freshers week! God knows I will!
Good luck xxx
SO... Go and enjoy freshers week! God knows I will!
Good luck xxx
Reply 17
Please don't worry about the reactions you'll get at university - people are generally very understanding and are far more likely to be sympathetic than judgemental. I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Besides, I do think that most people will have known at least one person who has been in your situation and will have at least a basic understanding of it, don't let this affect your confidence because it shouldn't have to.
Reply 18
kate03
I can understand why you wish you hadn't done it...I don't know if this would make sense, but perhaps try to view your scars as something which, at that particular time, was a coping mechanism, and feel stronger for now having scars, rather than recent marks, and be proud for coming out the other side.
absolutely agree!
I don't love or hate mine (i'm lucky they're not instantly obvious, or i might feel diff tho). I just see them as a product of my past, and a method of coping I used at the time that obviously worked to some degree because i'm still here and happier than I was back then.
and it's sorta interesting sometimes to sit n realise that they're probably there forever. and a reminder of some of the crap times i've had, and how the way things are now, I wouldn't wanna do it again as far as I can see.
Reply 19
It really is good to hear that there are others in a similar situation and also others that are understanding. Black swan- you will regret it more than you know but... it's so easy for me to say this having stopped.
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