Potterhead999
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How does this sound before I send it off?

Dear Sir/Madam,
I have applied to Sheffield to study BSc Mathematics UCAS Code G100, however, after having looked at the other mathematics courses within the university, and reconsidered my future aspirations, I strongly believe that I would instead benefit more from BSc Mathematics and Statistics UCAS Code G112. As it has been over 7 days since I sent my application off, I can no longer change this course choice via the UCAS website. I would like to know if it would be at all possible for you to switch the course that I have applied to, as my application is still under consideration, and I have not yet received an offer from Sheffield.

Regards,

Rachel xxxxxx
UCAS ID: xxxxxxxxxx
Course applied for: BSc Mathematics UCAS Code G100
Couse to swap to: BSc Mathematics and Statistics UCAS Code G112


ps. Did not want to give out personal details so that's why there are "xxxx's"
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Treen98
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(Original post by RachelCx99)
How does this sound before I send it off?

Dear Sir/Madam,
I have applied to Sheffield to study BSc Mathematics UCAS Code G100, however, after having looked at the other mathematics courses within the university, and reconsidered my future aspirations, I strongly believe that I would instead benefit more from BSc Mathematics and Statistics UCAS Code G112. As it has been over 7 days since I sent my application off, I can no longer change this course choice via the UCAS website. I would like to know if it would be at all possible for you to switch the course that I have applied to, as my application is still under consideration, and I have not yet received an offer from Sheffield.

Regards,

Rachel xxxxxx
UCAS ID: xxxxxxxxxx
Course applied for: BSc Mathematics UCAS Code G100
Couse to swap to: BSc Mathematics and Statistics UCAS Code G112


ps. Did not want to give out personal details so that's why there are "xxxx's"
Hey yeah sounds good, but a minor thing- don't say "an offer" as it may seem slightly presumptuous. I'd write that you've not received a "decision" yet


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Potterhead999
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[QUOTE=Treen98;68159796]Hey yeah sounds good, but a minor thing- don't say "an offer" as it may seem slightly presumptuous. I'd write that you've not received a "decision" yet]


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Yep it is a bit presumptuous hahaa
thankyou!
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Abstract_Prism
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No way, ditch the uptight formality.

'Hi, I applied to Sheffield to study G100, but I'd like to know if it would be possible to change this to G102. I have not yet been given a response on my initial application. I would change it on UCAS, but it has been over 7 days since I sent off my application, so I have to contact you directly to make the request.'
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Potterhead999
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(Original post by Abstract_Prism)
No way, ditch the uptight formality.

'Hi, I applied to Sheffield to study G100, but I'd like to know if it would be possible to change this to G102. I have not yet been given a response on my initial application. I would change it on UCAS, but it has been over 7 days since I sent off my application, so I have to contact you directly to make the request.'
Really? If it's a uni I'm trying to impress surely I should give a good impression and be formal in the email, after all, the personal statement is also very formal
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Metalfros
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(Original post by RachelCx99)
Really? If it's a uni I'm trying to impress surely I should give a good impression and be formal in the email, after all, the personal statement is also very formal

Don't listen to him. He's either trolling or doesn't know how to write a proper formal email. As the other user said, improve the 'an offer' bit and then you should be good to go
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Abstract_Prism
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(Original post by RachelCx99)
Really? If it's a uni I'm trying to impress surely I should give a good impression and be formal in the email, after all, the personal statement is also very formal
They're not going to judge you by what you write in the email. I'm sure they would just cringe at the formality. It sounds really forced.

I mean, I've communicated in a similar tone to Cambridge and they didn't seem to mind. I think you will sound a lot more genuine if you just write normally in your email.

Sure, be formal in your personal statement, but this email is not a personal statement; it's just an email...
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Potterhead999
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(Original post by Abstract_Prism)
They're not going to judge you by what you write in the email. I'm sure they would just cringe at the formality. It sounds really forced.

I mean, I've communicated in a similar tone to Cambridge and they didn't seem to mind. I think you will sound a lot more genuine if you just write normally in your email.

Sure, be formal in your personal statement, but this email is not a personal statement; it's just an email...
Ok thanks for the help I understand now
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Lauren-x-
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I think the email sounds fine (after the change mentioned above) - I hope they get back to you soon!
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Potterhead999
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(Original post by Metalfros)
Don't listen to him. He's either trolling or doesn't know how to write a proper formal email. As the other user said, improve the 'an offer' bit and then you should be good to go
Thanks
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Potterhead999
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(Original post by Lauren-x-)
I think the email sounds fine (after the change mentioned above) - I hope they get back to you soon!
Thankyou!
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returnmigrant
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Either email will do - it conveys the relevant info.

Stop overthinking this - they either will allow the transfer or not, it will not depend on how you worded the email ....
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Potterhead999
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(Original post by returnmigrant)
Either email will do - it conveys the relevant info.

Stop overthinking this - they either will allow the transfer or not, it will not depend on how you worded the email ....
ok haha I'll just send it off now
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Abstract_Prism
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(Original post by Metalfros)
Don't listen to him. He's either trolling or doesn't know how to write a proper formal email. As the other user said, improve the 'an offer' bit and then you should be good to go
I know how to write a formal email, but this is not a situation where formality is required. In this case it is excessive and forced. Do you really think admissions tutors would appreciate being addressed as though they're the head of the university? If it was me I would just cringe.
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Potterhead999
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(Original post by Abstract_Prism)
I know how to write a formal email, but this is not a situation where formality is required. In this case it is excessive and forced. Do you really think admissions tutors would appreciate being addressed as though they're the head of the university? If it was me I would just cringe.
Guys I've sent it off now, I've listened to and applied feedback from everyone and I appreciate all of it, it has really helped, please don't argue.

Thanks
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Abstract_Prism
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(Original post by RachelCx99)
Guys I've sent it off now, I've listened to and applied feedback from everyone and I appreciate all of it, it has really helped, please don't argue.
That's like telling a lark not to sing.
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