Turn on thread page Beta

Being the big virgin at uni watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm in first year, 18 and a girl. My halls are all girls so there isn't anything that could ever happen there - but thinking about it I don't even know if i want something to happen at all. I never gave it a second thought to be honest, back home sex was the least thought about thing in my group of friends, but here at uni the only friends I do have are all 2nd/3rd years and it recently came to light that they're getting their backs blown out every week...

    I was at a party the other day and a guy did try it on with me in his room but I panicked and said no and we haven't spoken since. There is another guy in the works - he's shown some interest in me through my friends but I'm so unsure of whether he just wants to bang or actually talk?! And then I'm worried all the guys that have shown interest in me will drop me as soon as they find out I'm a virgin and have no plans of changing that any time soon. Does anyone have any advice or has anyone been in a similar situation? Thanks!
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There is another guy in the works - he's shown some interest in me through my friends but I'm so unsure of whether he just wants to bang or actually talk?!
    Ask him, innit.

    Be like, 'Oi big boy, are you gonna bang doe? Damn no. Show me your true colours like a mango'.

    Stay fruity and don't pop that cherry, fruit.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    If someone drops you because youre a virgin then you shouldnt be going out with them in the first place. Im sure there are plenty of guys in your uni who wont care about your virginity.
    Online

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in first year, 18 and a girl. My halls are all girls so there isn't anything that could ever happen there - but thinking about it I don't even know if i want something to happen at all. I never gave it a second thought to be honest, back home sex was the least thought about thing in my group of friends, but here at uni the only friends I do have are all 2nd/3rd years and it recently came to light that they're getting their backs blown out every week...

    I was at a party the other day and a guy did try it on with me in his room but I panicked and said no and we haven't spoken since. There is another guy in the works - he's shown some interest in me through my friends but I'm so unsure of whether he just wants to bang or actually talk?! And then I'm worried all the guys that have shown interest in me will drop me as soon as they find out I'm a virgin and have no plans of changing that any time soon. Does anyone have any advice or has anyone been in a similar situation? Thanks!
    So you don't start anything because you worry it might end.

    Don't you think that's counterproductive?

    ps what a prude slut shamer you are. "backs blown out"?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by yudothis)
    So you don't start anything because you worry it might end.

    Don't you think that's counterproductive?

    ps what a prude slut shamer you are. "backs blown out"?
    not slut shaming at all, nowhere did I mention that it was a bad thing or I didn't like it - simply that it's going on. it's a term they use and I have used with them and they know it's honestly just in reference to them having sex!
    Online

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    not slut shaming at all, nowhere did I mention that it was a bad thing or I didn't like it - simply that it's going on. it's a term they use and I have used with them and they know it's honestly just in reference to them having sex!
    Whether or not you think it is, is a bit irrelevant. It's like using the word gay to mean bad/lame, "that's so gay".

    What you say with your friends and family is not what you can say in public.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in first year, 18 and a girl. My halls are all girls so there isn't anything that could ever happen there - but thinking about it I don't even know if i want something to happen at all. I never gave it a second thought to be honest, back home sex was the least thought about thing in my group of friends, but here at uni the only friends I do have are all 2nd/3rd years and it recently came to light that they're getting their backs blown out every week...
    "backs blown out"? what, is this some military-grade we're talking here?

    I was at a party the other day and a guy did try it on with me in his room but I panicked and said no and we haven't spoken since. There is another guy in the works - he's shown some interest in me through my friends but I'm so unsure of whether he just wants to bang or actually talk?!
    why would you talk when you could bang?
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Davalla)
    Ask him, innit.

    Be like, 'Oi big boy, are you gonna bang doe? Damn no. Show me your true colours like a mango'.

    Stay fruity and don't pop that cherry, fruit.
    :rofl:
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    And then I'm worried all the guys that have shown interest in me will drop me as soon as they find out I'm a virgin and have no plans of changing that any time soon. Does anyone have any advice or has anyone been in a similar situation? Thanks!
    So what if they do?

    If a guy is interested in you, great. If he wants to sleep with you and you don't, then that may end the interest, but isn't it better that you both know that?

    Being a virgin is not a problem for most guys. Wanting to stay one might be, depending.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Ain't no shame in being a virgin.

    Believe me, it's so much more worth waiting to find a real relationship before you throw it out.
    • #2
    #2

    If he drops you for not having sex with him then it shows all he is really after. Don't be like those other girls, we need to have some decent girls left.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by yudothis)
    So you don't start anything because you worry it might end.

    Don't you think that's counterproductive?

    ps what a prude slut shamer you are. "backs blown out"?
    What a prude shamer you are. Just because she has some self-control doesn't mean she's prude. And if they are getting banged every week like mentioned, they are sluts, simple as that.
    Online

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What a prude shamer you are. Just because she has some self-control doesn't mean she's prude. And if they are getting banged every week like mentioned, they are sluts, simple as that.
    She displayed a characteristic of being prude. Mentioning that is not shaming at all.

    Just because you think it's a matter of self control, doesn't make it so.

    No, they just have active sex lifes.

    Live a little, might make you less bitter and rude.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by yudothis)
    She displayed a characteristic of being prude. Mentioning that is not shaming at all.

    Just because you think it's a matter of self control, doesn't make it so.

    No, they just have active sex lifes.

    Live a little, might make you less bitter and rude.
    What characteristic is that? Using a humorous term for having sex? Please.

    Well it is a matter of self-control, if she wanted to then she could be like them as well getting used each week by different men.

    Yes active sex lives with different men equals slut, maybe they are proud of that, who knows.

    I live plenty, thanks
    Online

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What characteristic is that? Using a humorous term for having sex? Please.

    Well it is a matter of self-control, if she wanted to then she could be like them as well getting used each week by different men.

    Yes active sex lives with different men equals slut, maybe they are proud of that, who knows.

    I live plenty, thanks
    The characteristic of thinking sex is something special, something naughty, some thing you don't do. The fact that she is obviously judging them, even if she pretends not to.

    No it's not, because that implies it's a bad thing. You need self-control to stop yourself from doing things that are bad for you. Not from doing things that are fun.

    No, it does not. Not surprised that you are a slut-shamer though.

    Yea sure, keep telling yourself that.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by yudothis)
    The characteristic of thinking sex is something special, something naughty, some thing you don't do. The fact that she is obviously judging them, even if she pretends not to.

    No it's not, because that implies it's a bad thing. You need self-control to stop yourself from doing things that are bad for you. Not from doing things that are fun.

    No, it does not. Not surprised that you are a slut-shamer though.

    Yea sure, keep telling yourself that.
    So it's wrong to think of sex as something special now? Maybe it isn't to you but to others it might be. Everyone judges, you are judging her for her use of words.

    It is a bad thing for women, it's not natural for so many partners and shows potential mental problems. This is why men avoid these types of girls for relationships. It's fun of course, noones denying that, but hook up culture (which you seem to be promoting) is damaging.

    I'm sorry the word slut isn't politically correct enough for you. Sluts will always have a bad reputation and that's the way it is.
    Online

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So it's wrong to think of sex as something special now? Maybe it isn't to you but to others it might be. Everyone judges, you are judging her for her use of words.

    It is a bad thing for women, it's not natural for so many partners and shows potential mental problems. This is why men avoid these types of girls for relationships. It's fun of course, noones denying that, but hook up culture (which you seem to be promoting) is damaging.

    I'm sorry the word slut isn't politically correct enough for you. Sluts will always have a bad reputation and that's the way it is.
    Exactly, so who is she and you to judge them for it? And yes, but I am judging your judging, if you fail to see the difference, that's your problem.

    Oh gee, not surprised you believe in this fairy tale.

    No they won't. And it has nothing to do with PC, it just means you are a *****y human being for talking in that way about a group of people just because you don't agree with their behavior, which has no impact on you.
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    (Original post by Anonymous;[url="tel:68192890")
    68192890[/url]]I'm in first year, 18 and a girl. My halls are all girls so there isn't anything that could ever happen there - but thinking about it I don't even know if i want something to happen at all. I never gave it a second thought to be honest, back home sex was the least thought about thing in my group of friends, but here at uni the only friends I do have are all 2nd/3rd years and it recently came to light that they're getting their backs blown out every week...

    I was at a party the other day and a guy did try it on with me in his room but I panicked and said no and we haven't spoken since. There is another guy in the works - he's shown some interest in me through my friends but I'm so unsure of whether he just wants to bang or actually talk?! And then I'm worried all the guys that have shown interest in me will drop me as soon as they find out I'm a virgin and have no plans of changing that any time soon. Does anyone have any advice or has anyone been in a similar situation? Thanks!

    Why does it matter?

    You clearly have 'options'... If sex means something deep to you then be careful who you trust to have sex with.

    Why bother about other people?

    Message the guy that you said no to if you want to shag him.

    Guys won't be put off by you being a virgin, ideally you do not want to lose your virginity after a nightout. It would better if you were sober and had a degree of intimacy with that person.

    Build it up with that person so sex is just the next logical step. It really isn't a huge deal.
    Try and pick a guy who isn't a **** and who knows what he is doing...
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    it recently came to light that they're getting their backs blown out every week...
    that sounds a bit violent...

    Pretty much nobody is going to drop you just because you're a virgin, not starting anything because you fear something that probably won't even happen is slightly weird. It's like me deciding to never go to the shops because I fear my local tescos is going to get attacked by ISIS militants.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Why not just go on a date with someone you could conceivable envisage 'getting your back blown out' by in the future and take it from there. Virginity for girls is a marketing dream anyway.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 29, 2016
The home of Results and Clearing

2,098

people online now

1,567,000

students helped last year
Poll
A-level students - how do you feel about your results?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.