# Maths JokesWatch

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#1
Has anyone got any maths jokes?

Here's some:

I got in a fight with the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me!

Why do statisticians know about everyone?
They census.

An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar. The 1st orders a beer, the 2nd orders 1/2 of a beer, the 3rd orders a 1/4 of a beer, and so on. The bartender gives the mathematicians 2 beers. The mathematicians don't look satisfied with the 2 beers. Then the bartender says "Know your limits. Don't drink and derive!".

Why was the maths teacher late for work?
They got on the rhombus.

Have you heard of the mathematician that was afraid of negative numbers?
They stopped at nothing to avoid them!
27
3 years ago
#2
Einstein, Pascal and Newton were playing Hide and Seek.
Einstein started counting and Pascal ran away.
Newton stay where he was and drew a square on the ground around him, 1 metre by 1 metre.
Einstein finished counting and immediately found Newton saying: "Newton, I've found you", to which he replies
"I'm not Newton, I'm Pascal".
13
#3
(Original post by BobBobson)
Einstein, Pascal and Newton were playing Hide and Seek.
Einstein started counting and Pascal ran away.
Newton stay where he was and drew a square on the ground around him, 1 metre by 1 metre.
Einstein finished counting and immediately found Newton saying: "Newton, I've found you", to which he replies
"I'm not Newton, I'm Pascal".
Cool joke
0
3 years ago
#4
why is 6 afraid of 7
because 7 8 9
9
3 years ago
#5
√-1 2³ Σ π and it was delicious
10
#6
Nice jokes, everyone
0
3 years ago
#7

If anyone gets this I'll be mega impressed.
6
#8
How do mathematicians celebrate after sketching a linear graph?
They do a line dance!

Why do mathematicians hate graphical inequalities?
1
3 years ago
#9

6
3 years ago
#10
I think the best joke in (A Level) maths is Decision 1.
28
3 years ago
#11
I have the feeling that this will go off on a tangent..
7
#12
(Original post by SilverActor2033)
I have the feeling that this will go off on a tangent..
The trigonometry puns are a sine that it will.
2
3 years ago
#13
(Original post by Loci Pi)
The trigonometry puns are a sine that it will.
Aw, why'd you hhave to do that? Just Cos?
0
3 years ago
#14
Why did Pythagoras cross the road?
Spoiler:
Show
He didn't there were no roads in his time
Spoiler:
Show
4
#15
(Original post by hamza772000)
Why did Pythagoras cross the road?
1
3 years ago
#16
(Original post by Loci Pi)
Has anyone got any maths jokes?

Here's some:

I got in a fight with the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me!

Why do statisticians know about everyone?
They census.

An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar. The 1st orders a beer, the 2nd orders 1/2 of a beer, the 3rd orders a 1/4 of a beer, and so on. The bartender gives the mathematicians 2 beers. The mathematicians don't look satisfied with the 2 beers. Then the bartender says "Know your limits. Don't drink and derive!".

Why was the maths teacher late for work?
They got on the rhombus.

Have you heard of the mathematician that was afraid of negative numbers?
They stopped at nothing to avoid them!
Wanna hear a good one?

My life
1
3 years ago
#17
(Original post by Loci Pi)
Has anyone got any maths jokes?

Here's some:

I got in a fight with the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me!

Why do statisticians know about everyone?
They census.

An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar. The 1st orders a beer, the 2nd orders 1/2 of a beer, the 3rd orders a 1/4 of a beer, and so on. The bartender gives the mathematicians 2 beers. The mathematicians don't look satisfied with the 2 beers. Then the bartender says "Know your limits. Don't drink and derive!".

Why was the maths teacher late for work?
They got on the rhombus.

Have you heard of the mathematician that was afraid of negative numbers?
They stopped at nothing to avoid them!
Unable to post anything else.

1
3 years ago
#18
(Original post by Loci Pi)
Has anyone got any maths jokes?

Here's some:

I got in a fight with the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me!

Why do statisticians know about everyone?
They census.

An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar. The 1st orders a beer, the 2nd orders 1/2 of a beer, the 3rd orders a 1/4 of a beer, and so on. The bartender gives the mathematicians 2 beers. The mathematicians don't look satisfied with the 2 beers. Then the bartender says "Know your limits. Don't drink and derive!".

Why was the maths teacher late for work?
They got on the rhombus.

Have you heard of the mathematician that was afraid of negative numbers?
They stopped at nothing to avoid them!
You should go buy a pet snake.
I derived that python isn't a bad species.

1
#19
Pythagoras walks into a bar and says "If a right angled triangle has a short side of x, a long side of y, and a hypotenuse of z, then the square of z must be equal to the sum of the square of x and the square of..... umm...uh.....". Pythagoras forgets what he is going to say and looks disappointed.

The bartender replies "Y the long face?".
3
3 years ago
#20
Long Devishion Style
calculus bohemian rhapsody
algabra song
Getting Triggy with it
Super Base (no ball)
Graph
Solve me Maybe
All I do is Solve
Percent Song
Pi Song (not edible)
Logarithm Song
Slope Intercept
Calculus Thrift Shop
Perimeter, Area and Volume Song
Transformation Style
The Distance Fomuler
The Slope Fomuler Style
Dividing Fractions Song
Multiplying Fractions Song

There are many more on youtube, and around the internet.
3
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