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Incompetent in getting a girlfriend. watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    I'm just inexperienced with having the whole 'relationship' thing, never really bothered till lately where I feel lonely, and that I am surrounded by housemates who have girlfriends/boyfriends.

    How do I smooth talk my way in with girls that I meet? Everytime I meet someone I like, I freeze, I lose all my confidence and just don't speak.

    P.s. It doesn't help that I fancy my friends girlfriend and I can't get her off my mind. So hopefully I'll be able to meet someone who can distract me from that.

    Just seeking tips and advice on how to improve my competency in meeting a girl.
    • #2

    First of all, you definitely need to drop the freezing thing. I wouldn't be bothered about being lonely etc., that's totally normal in your situation right now.

    I am no relationship expert but I tend to have pretty good relationships/friendships with girls.

    You just need to get this whole idea of holy **** girl, need to act cool as **** so I can hopefully do something with her. You just need to chill, be yourself and act as if you were speaking to a friend, or somebody you've just met and drop omfg female help. I understand it might be hard but just relax and be yourself. Girls tend to find it quite funny, in my experiences anyway, if your slightly pessimistic so joke about something being ****, but don't over do it or you'll look stupid. Just try and be funny, be yourself and don't try be too flirty or full-on.

    You're definitely gonna have to get over you friends gf that's such a **** move on your part, I understand it's feelings and all but I have been that situation of your friend and my friend liking my girlfriend and it's really annoying, and will most likely ruin your friendship. The key to getting over he is, like you said, meeting someone else so you are distracted by her.

    I hope this helps!

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How do I smooth talk my way in with girls that I meet? Everytime I meet someone I like, I freeze, I lose all my confidence and just don't speak.
    The first real step I guess would be speaking none-confidently per se. Eventually if you force yourself to talk you should reach the conclusion that girls are in effect normal humans and can cope totally fine with you being yourself without going "oh what the **** is that".

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    P.s. It doesn't help that I fancy my friends girlfriend and I can't get her off my mind. So hopefully I'll be able to meet someone who can distract me from that.
    I did that once before. Was very fun.
    • Community Assistant

    Community Assistant
    Firstly, sort out your confidence: accept yourself, be proud of yourself- what are you proud about? What are you confident about?-your studies? Web design skills? A sport?

    Be with positive people, think positively, be optimistic, learn the skills required, have knowledge, go to the gym, make eye contact with people, speak up, have good posture, do things that you are normally afraid to do. Be happy within yourself, do things that make you happy, focus on yourself, stop caring what other people think or say because they are not important to you, look outside.

    Take risks, the more you take, the more acclimatised you will get. This is the only way you are going to improve your confidence, social skills and attracting women.

    Also: go to gym, wear good, stylish clothes, get a good hairstyle, groom and smell well.

    Approaching women

    Lighten up, think of no outcome, just talk to them and have a conversation.

    Approach women and say "I just saw you and just had to meet you" in a jovial way, then transition with questions, observe, make a comment, instigate and play on the words when she answers back to your question.

    The worst thing that is going to happen when approaching a women is he she pulls an angry face or tells you "to get lost", you will get these women, even the most successful men with women will get ignored.

    The more you approach, the more opportunities you will have to being successful. Approaching 3 a day means 21 in a week and in that 21 you should have 1-2 numbers to transition into a date.

    The more you approach, the more easier it will get. It's just like learning algebra, at first it is daunting, however, the more you practice and stick with it, the more easier it will get and the more comfortable you will feel.

    Best ways to meet women to get a girlfriend or a relationship

    You can join online dating website, go to speed dating events, join clubs out of interest such as a salsa dancing club, volunteer, work, meet women at the gym, through family or friends, through college or university or approaching women.

    Conversation skills

    Ask how they are/how's it going/how are you keeping
    What has she been up to,
    What is the latest,
    How is her day been,
    What is she planning to do
    What her plans are for the day, week ahead,
    How was her weekend, day, did you get up to anything interesting
    Ask if she has any plans for the holidays, etc
    How do you spend most of your time
    How do you spend most of your spare time
    Talk about her studies, hobbies
    Ask about family, friends, where she would like to travel, what's the craziest thing she's done

    Listening is very important in getting better with conversations!

    I really hope this helps.

    Good luck!
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