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What do women prefer - sensitivity or strength?
Obviously there's no exact science to it, but I just meant generally speaking - do they prefer a guy who's emotionally atuned or a guy who is strong - be it physically, in being able to protect them, or in terms of being the "strong silent type".
I've been deemed to be emotionally atuned a few times, and whilst I don't mind this remark, it seems that some girls assume this manifests in place of strength (physical or emotional, as above), when I know that I'd gladly stick my neck out for a girl (although admittedly may well get beaten down, as I'm not the most well-built lad). Also, I'm worried some girls may mistake the sensitivity for some sort of Bambi-like persona where you need to be mothered and are seen as weak, which gives me an air of anxiety.
One girl commented "at first girls go for the strong guys but once they realise that many of them are emotionally shallow they tend to look to the emotionally complex ones". This was more than likely just an attempt to raise my frankly low self-esteem (and I felt it was a bit diminutive to deem all physically strong guys emotionally shallow, as some lucky guys are physically adept and emotionally deep), but I was curious what you all thought.
Cheers.
I've been deemed to be emotionally atuned a few times, and whilst I don't mind this remark, it seems that some girls assume this manifests in place of strength (physical or emotional, as above), when I know that I'd gladly stick my neck out for a girl (although admittedly may well get beaten down, as I'm not the most well-built lad). Also, I'm worried some girls may mistake the sensitivity for some sort of Bambi-like persona where you need to be mothered and are seen as weak, which gives me an air of anxiety.
One girl commented "at first girls go for the strong guys but once they realise that many of them are emotionally shallow they tend to look to the emotionally complex ones". This was more than likely just an attempt to raise my frankly low self-esteem (and I felt it was a bit diminutive to deem all physically strong guys emotionally shallow, as some lucky guys are physically adept and emotionally deep), but I was curious what you all thought.
Cheers.
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Reply 1
No way does sensitivity get the girl. At least, it's never what creates the attraction in the first place (unless the girl is desperate and just wants ANY guy to show her a bit of attention).
Understanding girls and being a good listener will only give you the status of being a good friend.
Understanding girls and being a good listener will only give you the status of being a good friend.
Reply 3
I B.S.
are you a girl?
No, there's a little Male logo next to my name, if you have a look.
shane, I wasn't saying that girls don't like sensitivity but it rarely creates attraction. Girls might be attracted to the whole "broken boy"/"tortured soul" image but it's more the image that they cultivate than the actual senstivity per se.
You've also got to be careful because there's "what girls want to believe they're attracted to" and "what they're actually attracted to".
Reply 4
apprently (according to bbc) women are now more inclined to go for the sensitive more femnine type, the image of the "leader of the pack" stong mle is no longer suitable for them
time to hang up your clubs and get out the moisturiser lads
time to hang up your clubs and get out the moisturiser lads
Reply 5
if it was a straight choice between sensitivity OR strength then hell yeah, sensitivity every time.
my bf cried infront of me way before i did with him, he can and does talk about his feelings as easily and openly as me, is really understanding, sweet and caring. he's also really strong and taller than me, but never uses it, i.e. he'd never hit someone unless its an absolute last resort. there's definitely summat of a turnon about how he is so strong and capable of 'protecting' me (haha i sound like a cavewoman) but is so gentle with me(apart from when we're play fighting and the sort
)
my bf cried infront of me way before i did with him, he can and does talk about his feelings as easily and openly as me, is really understanding, sweet and caring. he's also really strong and taller than me, but never uses it, i.e. he'd never hit someone unless its an absolute last resort. there's definitely summat of a turnon about how he is so strong and capable of 'protecting' me (haha i sound like a cavewoman) but is so gentle with me(apart from when we're play fighting and the sort
)Reply 6
Sticky
Understanding girls and being a good listener will only give you the status of being a good friend.
Ahh... quite true. Just never really noticed that before.
For me, both is still important. Strong enough to stand on his own two feet and take on whatever comes his way (in life) without the need to break down every few minutes, but still sensitive enough to feel about things he cares about.
My boyfriend's strong AND sensitive. *smug*
I've had a strong boyfriend and I've had a sensitive boyfriend (if we're going to reduce human beings to this false dichotomy); I was much, much more attached to the sensitive boyfriend, preferring him, but found that he got annoying more quickly. That might have just been him though.
I've had a strong boyfriend and I've had a sensitive boyfriend (if we're going to reduce human beings to this false dichotomy); I was much, much more attached to the sensitive boyfriend, preferring him, but found that he got annoying more quickly. That might have just been him though.
Reply 8
A certain amount of strength is important, I'd want a guy to be stronger than me (although thats not exactly hard), and to be able to stand up for me if needs be- I do like to feel protected, I think a lot of girls look for safety in a lot of ways in relationships.
But I get what the OP means about growing into the more sensitive type- I'm starting to get bored of the fighter type and those relationships don't tend to last longer than a few months.
Ok, so heres my conclusion on the matter- a certain amount of strength is important- a girl doesn't want to feel like you'd run away in times of trouble, and likes it to think you'd have some chance of defending her (I think it actually matters more that you'd attempt to defend them than actually win- it really is the thought that counts), but does appreciate a sensitivity and depth of character- and its this part that makes the relationship last.
Wow, us girls are complicated, aren't we?
But I get what the OP means about growing into the more sensitive type- I'm starting to get bored of the fighter type and those relationships don't tend to last longer than a few months.
Ok, so heres my conclusion on the matter- a certain amount of strength is important- a girl doesn't want to feel like you'd run away in times of trouble, and likes it to think you'd have some chance of defending her (I think it actually matters more that you'd attempt to defend them than actually win- it really is the thought that counts), but does appreciate a sensitivity and depth of character- and its this part that makes the relationship last.
Wow, us girls are complicated, aren't we?
Reply 11
I don't like sensitive guys. I'm not sensitive/emotional myself so it would be my idea of a nightmare to be with an overly sensitive guy. My boyfriend is not sensitive at all and that's how I like it.
Reply 13
Evolutionary psychology tells me strength, at least initially.
Women will probably want both, but to "get your foot in the door" you don't want to look like you can't scare off the predators that want to eat your child.
So to speak
My girl says I'm a healthy mix of both, but I reckon had I have shown my sensitive side first, we'd not have gotten together.
Women will probably want both, but to "get your foot in the door" you don't want to look like you can't scare off the predators that want to eat your child.
So to speak
My girl says I'm a healthy mix of both, but I reckon had I have shown my sensitive side first, we'd not have gotten together.
Reply 14
it has to be both without a doubt... ive seen my boyfriend cry a couple of times before and it just sort of made me feel alot closer to him knowing that he was comfortable enough to cry in front of me, plus he plays football alot so he's definately strong 
Reply 16
I'm attracted to strong. I like men being in their stereotypical type, you know being able to defend and stuff. So I'm attracted to strong men. However, once I'm in a relationship, the man has to be at least a bit sensitive, otherwise it just doesn't work!
Reply 18
Speaking as a 35 yr old .. women prefer a sensitive guy that can stick up for a women when she needs it ... women dont like big agressive men nowadays and they like to see a guy show his feminine side
Reply 19
if I had to pick one though it would be sensitivity every time... i couldnt be with someone who wouldnt notice when im in a bad mood and not try to cheer me up, and stuff like that
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