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How to find eah other? watch

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    OK, I emphasise each other, because it is not some mad stalker thing, and I know there will be the usual parade of man-shamers and militant 'feminists' queing up with insults. Again, I have to qualify this before I say this, but she was really keen on me, and no I am not a slimeball, egotist, etc, you just had to be there- it was a massive attraction, so natural, but I went off and closed off because of personal problems, even though we are perfect together.

    I know her christian name.
    Know which town in the UK she is from, where she went to uni(or post grad)and where she had her career after that(here, last time I saw her)
    I know the country her folks live in.
    I know the part or district of town, other side to me, she said she lived in.
    I know the type of car she drives as I met her parking up.
    I know her profession and broadly it's sub category.

    It may sound very easy, but like me she, I think, is a private person who just doesn't have a visible online presence.
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    It's quite creepy, even more if you don't know each other. I don't know what you are trying to do here, track her down or something?
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    You sound kinda like Tana Mongeau's stalker
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    (Original post by UWS)
    It's quite creepy, even more if you don't know each other. I don't know what you are trying to do here, track her down or something?
    Well, we do know each other, otherwise why would she have told me all that?
    And she was the one who was advancing on me. Not arrogantly, just true.

    I really really like her, she's perfect for me. it's not just a sex thing, though we are attracted. It's just I closed off at the time and ignored/jilted her because of heavy personal stuff which is now over. I'm just curious because the connection was so strong. We kept a bit of mystery, and obviously what with her and I being online recluses, that is why I can't just go see her- we met regularly at a sports club.
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    (Original post by saraxh)
    You sound kinda like Tana Mongeau's stalker
    That's because I had to make all the qualifications and sound guilty because of a persistent, reflexive culture of men-shaming and hating and demonising which pervades the 21st century.

    K?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well, we do know each other, otherwise why would she have told me all that?
    And she was the one who was advancing on me. Not arrogantly, just true.

    I really really like her, she's perfect for me. it's not just a sex thing, though we are attracted. It's just I closed off at the time and ignored/jilted her because of heavy personal stuff which is now over. I'm just curious because the connection was so strong. We kept a bit of mystery, and obviously what with her and I being online recluses, that is why I can't just go see her- we met regularly at a sports club.
    You're still being very ambiguous about this situation... You didn't tell us that she told you all of that information. If she has gone for good it's best to move on. Stop seeing her as this perfect girl as well.
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    (Original post by UWS)
    You're still being very ambiguous about this situation... You didn't tell us that she told you all of that information. If she has gone for good it's best to move on. Stop seeing her as this perfect girl as well.
    Sorry should have been clearer. I don't know she has moved on, I was the one who went off.
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    I don't knw what to say. Whilst I sympathise with your situation, I would advice you to move on. You see her as the perfect girl but noone is perfect. And lol, you may not want to sound like this, but tou do sound a tad bit stalkerish.
    I understand the curiosity because you felt tou had a connection so I say if its meant to be then you'll meet each other again. If not...move on.
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    (Original post by starfab)
    I don't knw what to say. Whilst I sympathise with your situation, I would advice you to move on. You see her as the perfect girl but noone is perfect. And lol, you may not want to sound like this, but tou do sound a tad bit stalkerish.
    I understand the curiosity because you felt tou had a connection so I say if its meant to be then you'll meet each other again. If not...move on.
    I'm not stalkerish, but I will admit there is something that makes me very curious when there's been a bit of mystery and distance, and then separation, especially when there was such an attraction and connection(And I know it's hard to convey here, maybe it's just the web is ripe for being misconstrued)

    It's like doubling the chemistry and the joy of seeing them again.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not stalkerish, but I will admit there is something that makes me very curious when there's been a bit of mystery and distance, and then separation, especially when there was such an attraction and connection(And I know it's hard to convey here, maybe it's just the web is ripe for being misconstrued)

    It's like doubling the chemistry and the joy of seeing them again.
    I get it. It quite a hard thing to convoy. But what exactly are the chances of seeing each other again especially as you said she is an online recluse?
    That's why you shouldn't think too much on it. There's no point being stuck in the past. Better to just move on tbh.
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    (Original post by starfab)
    I get it. It quite a hard thing to convoy. But what exactly are the chances of seeing each other again especially as you said she is an online recluse?
    That's why you shouldn't think too much on it. There's no point being stuck in the past. Better to just move on tbh.
    Yeah, guess you're right. It's the distance increasing it. Might get a surprise one day cos although the place is relatively big, don't think she left.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    OK, I emphasise each other, because it is not some mad stalker thing, and I know there will be the usual parade of man-shamers and militant 'feminists' queing up with insults. Again, I have to qualify this before I say this, but she was really keen on me, and no I am not a slimeball, egotist, etc, you just had to be there- it was a massive attraction, so natural, but I went off and closed off because of personal problems, even though we are perfect together.

    I know her christian name.
    Know which town in the UK she is from, where she went to uni(or post grad)and where she had her career after that(here, last time I saw her)
    I know the country her folks live in.
    I know the part or district of town, other side to me, she said she lived in.
    I know the type of car she drives as I met her parking up.
    I know her profession and broadly it's sub category.

    It may sound very easy, but like me she, I think, is a private person who just doesn't have a visible online presence.
    I have read through this thread and seen your responses/ further information.

    I think people in life sometimes (particularly guys but also girls) get fixated on another person and build up this mental image of what they are like when they don't really know them, and they get stuck in a mental 'rut' where they obsess over the other person.

    I would suggest joining a club or society and meeting people that way rather than trying to find this mysterious girl because there is a high chance it will just lead to disappointment, and regardless of this it is not healthy to fixate so much on someone you don't know very well (or someone you do know very well for that matter).
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    (Original post by oiseaux_tropic)
    I have read through this thread and seen your responses/ further information.

    I think people in life sometimes (particularly guys but also girls) get fixated on another person and build up this mental image of what they are like when they don't really know them, and they get stuck in a mental 'rut' where they obsess over the other person.

    I would suggest joining a club or society and meeting people that way rather than trying to find this mysterious girl because there is a high chance it will just lead to disappointment, and regardless of this it is not healthy to fixate so much on someone you don't know very well (or someone you do know very well for that matter).
    Absolutely true. I second this! 👍
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    I'm not in a rut, and I'm not an infatuated adolescent, I know about insecure infatuation, this was compatibility, comfort, utterly natural together, but with the spark as well.
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    You should probably move on. Tbh if someone cut me off like that I would've moved on; so you should just get on with your life?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know her christian name.
    As opposed to her muslim name? If you can't easily get in contact you're going to have to move on, tracking her down sounds like it would require in depth basically stalkerish behaviour. You've really unnecessarily put her on a pedestal here.
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    (Original post by bxcks_)
    You should probably move on. Tbh if someone cut me off like that I would've moved on; so you should just get on with your life?
    Take the point, but
    Just for the record
    It never actually happened that I cut her off directly, or hurtfully, and I didn't ever want to, or treat her badly. I just went off because of problems I was dealing with, and didn't go down there again. Otherwise we were both so into each other, it was totally obvious.
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    (Original post by Retired_Messiah)
    As opposed to her muslim name? If you can't easily get in contact you're going to have to move on, tracking her down sounds like it would require in depth basically stalkerish behaviour. You've really unnecessarily put her on a pedestal here.
    That makes it sound like all women are the same, you can juts fashion a connection. You can't, most people you have absolutely zero connection or compatibility with. Those things are rare and we sensed it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Take the point, but
    Just for the record
    It never actually happened that I cut her off directly, or hurtfully, and I didn't ever want to, or treat her badly. I just went off because of problems I was dealing with, and didn't go down there again. Otherwise we were both so into each other, it was totally obvious.
    Oh, well then if you didn't do it with hurtful intent, i suppose it wouldn't hurt to contact her again just to get some closure and find out her feelings🤔
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    'can jus'- should read 'can't just', apologies.
 
 
 
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