There's nothing I actually want to do in life. No ambitions

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#1
Firstly, I post this in the mental health forum as I do suffer from asperger's, but also as I feel like people visiting this forum might be in a certain mindset when it comes to helping people, which is more useful to me.

Bit of a background. I’m 18 and recently started studying at uni, and then dropped out as a result of severely disliking most aspects of uni. This is most likely as a result of asperger's

Having had some time to think about what I might want to do next, I’ve realised there really isn’t anything I want to do. I know I would want to go to uni which is why I did go, but I struggle so much socially that it really puts me off. Also from my (albeit little) experience of the academic side of it, I felt quite overwhelmed by it all. Basically, this has put me off uni completely. I thought maybe the Open Uni would be a good way to go because I’m still studying for a degree but almost fully independently so I wouldn’t have the same social issues, which would mean I could concentrate on the course content and be more confident with it. However I wonder to myself do I really want to spend the next few years of my life studying, when there’s nothing I really want to do in life.

Finding it difficult to fit in socially puts me off anything that involves new people really. It’s so bad that I don’t even answer the phone if I don’t know who is calling, so going into something where there’s lots of new people - in person - is daunting for me. I’ve tried to find something I could do where I didn’t have to face that (which is why I thought of the Open Uni) as I thought having experience in something where there isn’t any new people would be useful, as trying to adapt to something new as well as having to fit in with new people feels like way too much for me. I thought maybe if I became confident at something, then having new people introduced to it later on would be less of a dramatic change for me so I would find it easier. However there’s nothing that I want to do, even without the prospect of having to fit in with so many new people.

I’ve looked through job listings and never have I found anything where I have thought I would want to do that. I’ve even tried imagining each one as if it was only me doing the job with nobody else around – so I’m only considering whether I would want to do the job and not whether the idea of new people is putting me off – but I still haven’t found anything that I would want to do. I’ve done the same thing with apprenticeships and still nothing.

I’ve found that I don’t really get any pleasure out of anything, and I don’t really have passion for anything, or even any interests or hobbies really. I like playing video games but I even get bored of them quite easily, compared to when I was much younger and I could play something for hours on end, even if it was repetitive. I can’t set my mind to something and stick with it. Lots of times I’ve thought I’ll start working out again because it’s good for me, but every time I’ve just stopped out of a lack of motivation. Even if I try and make it part of my routine, well I don’t really have a routine but I tried to basically schedule it into my life instead of thinking ‘do I feel like doing it’, but still I just end up quitting. As I took Computing at A-Level I have a bit of experience in programming and the other day I got the idea to test my skills and try and code my own small game, and even though I was making progress through it I still just got bored and stopped. It's not as if I got completely stuck and thought I'll leave it for now. I even get fed up of looking up things I could possibly do.

I know it doesn’t mean my life is over, and I’m still young anyway, but a lot of the time I just feel like there isn’t anything for me to do, and it makes me feel pretty hopeless. I’m just different to other people in the sense that a lot of people will be throwing applications in to every retail store possible because they want to work, but I can’t see myself doing something like that. I know I’m not meant to expect to ‘enjoy’ the work etc but I feel like I would be so fed up and just not want to be there

I don’t know what I can do really
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Little Popcorns
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Firstly, I post this in the mental health forum as I do suffer from asperger's, but also as I feel like people visiting this forum might be in a certain mindset when it comes to helping people, which is more useful to me.

Bit of a background. I’m 18 and recently started studying at uni, and then dropped out as a result of severely disliking most aspects of uni. This is most likely as a result of asperger's

Having had some time to think about what I might want to do next, I’ve realised there really isn’t anything I want to do. I know I would want to go to uni which is why I did go, but I struggle so much socially that it really puts me off. Also from my (albeit little) experience of the academic side of it, I felt quite overwhelmed by it all. Basically, this has put me off uni completely. I thought maybe the Open Uni would be a good way to go because I’m still studying for a degree but almost fully independently so I wouldn’t have the same social issues, which would mean I could concentrate on the course content and be more confident with it. However I wonder to myself do I really want to spend the next few years of my life studying, when there’s nothing I really want to do in life.

Finding it difficult to fit in socially puts me off anything that involves new people really. It’s so bad that I don’t even answer the phone if I don’t know who is calling, so going into something where there’s lots of new people - in person - is daunting for me. I’ve tried to find something I could do where I didn’t have to face that (which is why I thought of the Open Uni) as I thought having experience in something where there isn’t any new people would be useful, as trying to adapt to something new as well as having to fit in with new people feels like way too much for me. I thought maybe if I became confident at something, then having new people introduced to it later on would be less of a dramatic change for me so I would find it easier. However there’s nothing that I want to do, even without the prospect of having to fit in with so many new people.

I’ve looked through job listings and never have I found anything where I have thought I would want to do that. I’ve even tried imagining each one as if it was only me doing the job with nobody else around – so I’m only considering whether I would want to do the job and not whether the idea of new people is putting me off – but I still haven’t found anything that I would want to do. I’ve done the same thing with apprenticeships and still nothing.

I’ve found that I don’t really get any pleasure out of anything, and I don’t really have passion for anything, or even any interests or hobbies really. I like playing video games but I even get bored of them quite easily, compared to when I was much younger and I could play something for hours on end, even if it was repetitive. I can’t set my mind to something and stick with it. Lots of times I’ve thought I’ll start working out again because it’s good for me, but every time I’ve just stopped out of a lack of motivation. Even if I try and make it part of my routine, well I don’t really have a routine but I tried to basically schedule it into my life instead of thinking ‘do I feel like doing it’, but still I just end up quitting. As I took Computing at A-Level I have a bit of experience in programming and the other day I got the idea to test my skills and try and code my own small game, and even though I was making progress through it I still just got bored and stopped. It's not as if I got completely stuck and thought I'll leave it for now. I even get fed up of looking up things I could possibly do.

I know it doesn’t mean my life is over, and I’m still young anyway, but a lot of the time I just feel like there isn’t anything for me to do, and it makes me feel pretty hopeless. I’m just different to other people in the sense that a lot of people will be throwing applications in to every retail store possible because they want to work, but I can’t see myself doing something like that. I know I’m not meant to expect to ‘enjoy’ the work etc but I feel like I would be so fed up and just not want to be there

I don’t know what I can do really
What subject have you started doing at university just recently?
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chelseacarknif3r
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#3
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#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Firstly, I post this in the mental health forum as I do suffer from asperger's, but also as I feel like people visiting this forum might be in a certain mindset when it comes to helping people, which is more useful to me.

Bit of a background. I’m 18 and recently started studying at uni, and then dropped out as a result of severely disliking most aspects of uni. This is most likely as a result of asperger's

Having had some time to think about what I might want to do next, I’ve realised there really isn’t anything I want to do. I know I would want to go to uni which is why I did go, but I struggle so much socially that it really puts me off. Also from my (albeit little) experience of the academic side of it, I felt quite overwhelmed by it all. Basically, this has put me off uni completely. I thought maybe the Open Uni would be a good way to go because I’m still studying for a degree but almost fully independently so I wouldn’t have the same social issues, which would mean I could concentrate on the course content and be more confident with it. However I wonder to myself do I really want to spend the next few years of my life studying, when there’s nothing I really want to do in life.

Finding it difficult to fit in socially puts me off anything that involves new people really. It’s so bad that I don’t even answer the phone if I don’t know who is calling, so going into something where there’s lots of new people - in person - is daunting for me. I’ve tried to find something I could do where I didn’t have to face that (which is why I thought of the Open Uni) as I thought having experience in something where there isn’t any new people would be useful, as trying to adapt to something new as well as having to fit in with new people feels like way too much for me. I thought maybe if I became confident at something, then having new people introduced to it later on would be less of a dramatic change for me so I would find it easier. However there’s nothing that I want to do, even without the prospect of having to fit in with so many new people.

I’ve looked through job listings and never have I found anything where I have thought I would want to do that. I’ve even tried imagining each one as if it was only me doing the job with nobody else around – so I’m only considering whether I would want to do the job and not whether the idea of new people is putting me off – but I still haven’t found anything that I would want to do. I’ve done the same thing with apprenticeships and still nothing.

I’ve found that I don’t really get any pleasure out of anything, and I don’t really have passion for anything, or even any interests or hobbies really. I like playing video games but I even get bored of them quite easily, compared to when I was much younger and I could play something for hours on end, even if it was repetitive. I can’t set my mind to something and stick with it. Lots of times I’ve thought I’ll start working out again because it’s good for me, but every time I’ve just stopped out of a lack of motivation. Even if I try and make it part of my routine, well I don’t really have a routine but I tried to basically schedule it into my life instead of thinking ‘do I feel like doing it’, but still I just end up quitting. As I took Computing at A-Level I have a bit of experience in programming and the other day I got the idea to test my skills and try and code my own small game, and even though I was making progress through it I still just got bored and stopped. It's not as if I got completely stuck and thought I'll leave it for now. I even get fed up of looking up things I could possibly do.

I know it doesn’t mean my life is over, and I’m still young anyway, but a lot of the time I just feel like there isn’t anything for me to do, and it makes me feel pretty hopeless. I’m just different to other people in the sense that a lot of people will be throwing applications in to every retail store possible because they want to work, but I can’t see myself doing something like that. I know I’m not meant to expect to ‘enjoy’ the work etc but I feel like I would be so fed up and just not want to be there

I don’t know what I can do really
It sounds silly, but have you tried doing any of those skills tests that match you with potential careers? I found they really opened my eyes to what was out there, and what I might be good at
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markova21
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#4
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#4
Yes. Try and do a Psychometric Test somewhere.
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Anonymous #1
#5
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#5
(Original post by Little Popcorns)
What subject have you started doing at university just recently?
Physics

(Original post by chelseadagg3r)
It sounds silly, but have you tried doing any of those skills tests that match you with potential careers? I found they really opened my eyes to what was out there, and what I might be good at
Yeah, one from the national careers service, and I think it sums me up. It has a section where a vague role appears, and you select how interested you would be. For all of them I selected 'Not at all interested' or 'A little interested', the two bottom ones
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username1292215
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#6
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#6
Was there anything you really wanted to do when you were younger? That might help to revisit that
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Anonymous #1
#7
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#7
(Original post by SuperHuman98)
Was there anything you really wanted to do when you were younger? That might help to revisit that
Then it's sorted, I'm going to be an astronaut

I guess for a while I said I wanted to be a vet but that was just because I like animals, but I'm not that passionate about them to work with them like that
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username1292215
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Then it's sorted, I'm going to be an astronaut

I guess for a while I said I wanted to be a vet but that was just because I like animals, but I'm not that passionate about them to work with them like that
I was kind of in your position for most of last year, and I can say that you should forget about that word "passionate". What even is passionate? I used to think I was passionate about video games but thats because I have been playing them for like 10 years. The key is to look at what you are good at if you can't think of anything you really like. Look at your strengths, then if you like physics you will get good at it. When you get good at it you will love it and it will be something you enjoy, and somethings we just can't predict. Like look at some youtube channels if we put the work in something unexpected will happen, somethings that exist you just wouldn't have been able to predict 5 years ago .

Be yourself, and forget about the expectation that we have to have a purpose in order to be happy. Try to live in the moment instead of the future because you don't know what may happen
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Anonymous #1
#9
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#9
(Original post by SuperHuman98)
I was kind of in your position for most of last year, and I can say that you should forget about that word "passionate". What even is passionate? I used to think I was passionate about video games but thats because I have been playing them for like 10 years. The key is to look at what you are good at if you can't think of anything you really like. Look at your strengths, then if you like physics you will get good at it. When you get good at it you will love it and it will be something you enjoy, and somethings we just can't predict. Like look at some youtube channels if we put the work in something unexpected will happen, somethings that exist you just wouldn't have been able to predict 5 years ago .

Be yourself, and forget about the expectation that we have to have a purpose in order to be happy. Try to live in the moment instead of the future because you don't know what may happen
Well by passionate I don't really mean have an extreme desire for, I just mean something that I know I would enjoy and can put my mind to. And well part of the reason I left uni was because I didn't like what I was doing on the course. I like learning about it and being able to understand it, but I don't particularly like to do it if that makes sense, I don't know, maybe I'll figure something out and I'm just expecting to find something as soon as possible

If you were in my position before, can I ask what you have been up to since then?
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username1292215
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
Well by passionate I don't really mean have an extreme desire for, I just mean something that I know I would enjoy and can put my mind to. And well part of the reason I left uni was because I didn't like what I was doing on the course. I like learning about it and being able to understand it, but I don't particularly like to do it if that makes sense, I don't know, maybe I'll figure something out and I'm just expecting to find something as soon as possible

If you were in my position before, can I ask what you have been up to since then?
I asked someone knowledgable about what to do if I don't know what to do with my life. He said to try new things always try new things, even reading lots of books helps.

So I have just been developing myself and trying to get out of my comfort zone
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Anonymous #1
#11
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#11
(Original post by SuperHuman98)
Okay, for me well I am now doing different subjects at AS (didn't go well before) , and I asked someone knowledgable about what to do if I don't know what to do with my life. He said to try new things always try new things, even reading lots of books helps.

So I have just been developing myself and trying to get out of my comfort zone
I know part of that is true for me too, but asperger's makes my comfort zone extremely small However its more the prospect of being in an environment where I don't know anybody, because that's where I suffer most. Like a lot of jobs I could probably happily walk into if all the people there were my friends from school, because I would be comfortable and the only thing new to me would be the work. Obviously I'll have to start somewhere so maybe I'll do just that, and try new things even if it's one small thing at a time
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Sabertooth
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#12
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#12
I think I'd prefer to have no ambition than have ambitions which are impossible.

Have you thought about volunteering somewhere/in a few different places, or maybe travel so you can really find what appeals to you?
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Anonymous #1
#13
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#13
(Original post by Sabertooth)
I think I'd prefer to have no ambition than have ambitions which are impossible.

Have you thought about volunteering somewhere/in a few different places, or maybe travel so you can really find what appeals to you?
If I'm honest I know what would appeal to me, something not too repetitive, preferably on computers, that requires no verbal contact with anyone else. That would suit me best :ahee: That makes me think well maybe doing something from my own home could work, like my own idea maybe. But I don't really have any ideas and being at home makes it too easy to give up. If you start getting frustrated in an office you can't exactly be like 'nah that's enough for today, time to kick my feet up', whereas at home you can quit any time you like and you have nobody to tell you not to
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Sabertooth
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
If I'm honest I know what would appeal to me, something not too repetitive, preferably on computers, that requires no verbal contact with anyone else. That would suit me best :ahee: That makes me think well maybe doing something from my own home could work, like my own idea maybe. But I don't really have any ideas and being at home makes it too easy to give up. If you start getting frustrated in an office you can't exactly be like 'nah that's enough for today, time to kick my feet up', whereas at home you can quit any time you like and you have nobody to tell you not to
I think that kind of job is one that a lot of people would want: I wouldn't mind being an office chair tester. I could sit in the chair and surf the internet.

Have you thought about actually getting a job? I think people learn a lot about themselves from having a job. One of the biggest things is what you're good/bad at and how this correlates with your interests.
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Khushboo Rawani
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#15
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#15
Hey, you sound very interesting to me , can we talk?
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Khushboo Rawani
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#16
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#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
Firstly, I post this in the mental health forum as I do suffer from asperger's, but also as I feel like people visiting this forum might be in a certain mindset when it comes to helping people, which is more useful to me.

Bit of a background. I’m 18 and recently started studying at uni, and then dropped out as a result of severely disliking most aspects of uni. This is most likely as a result of asperger's

Having had some time to think about what I might want to do next, I’ve realised there really isn’t anything I want to do. I know I would want to go to uni which is why I did go, but I struggle so much socially that it really puts me off. Also from my (albeit little) experience of the academic side of it, I felt quite overwhelmed by it all. Basically, this has put me off uni completely. I thought maybe the Open Uni would be a good way to go because I’m still studying for a degree but almost fully independently so I wouldn’t have the same social issues, which would mean I could concentrate on the course content and be more confident with it. However I wonder to myself do I really want to spend the next few years of my life studying, when there’s nothing I really want to do in life.

Finding it difficult to fit in socially puts me off anything that involves new people really. It’s so bad that I don’t even answer the phone if I don’t know who is calling, so going into something where there’s lots of new people - in person - is daunting for me. I’ve tried to find something I could do where I didn’t have to face that (which is why I thought of the Open Uni) as I thought having experience in something where there isn’t any new people would be useful, as trying to adapt to something new as well as having to fit in with new people feels like way too much for me. I thought maybe if I became confident at something, then having new people introduced to it later on would be less of a dramatic change for me so I would find it easier. However there’s nothing that I want to do, even without the prospect of having to fit in with so many new people.

I’ve looked through job listings and never have I found anything where I have thought I would want to do that. I’ve even tried imagining each one as if it was only me doing the job with nobody else around – so I’m only considering whether I would want to do the job and not whether the idea of new people is putting me off – but I still haven’t found anything that I would want to do. I’ve done the same thing with apprenticeships and still nothing.

I’ve found that I don’t really get any pleasure out of anything, and I don’t really have passion for anything, or even any interests or hobbies really. I like playing video games but I even get bored of them quite easily, compared to when I was much younger and I could play something for hours on end, even if it was repetitive. I can’t set my mind to something and stick with it. Lots of times I’ve thought I’ll start working out again because it’s good for me, but every time I’ve just stopped out of a lack of motivation. Even if I try and make it part of my routine, well I don’t really have a routine but I tried to basically schedule it into my life instead of thinking ‘do I feel like doing it’, but still I just end up quitting. As I took Computing at A-Level I have a bit of experience in programming and the other day I got the idea to test my skills and try and code my own small game, and even though I was making progress through it I still just got bored and stopped. It's not as if I got completely stuck and thought I'll leave it for now. I even get fed up of looking up things I could possibly do.

I know it doesn’t mean my life is over, and I’m still young anyway, but a lot of the time I just feel like there isn’t anything for me to do, and it makes me feel pretty hopeless. I’m just different to other people in the sense that a lot of people will be throwing applications in to every retail store possible because they want to work, but I can’t see myself doing something like that. I know I’m not meant to expect to ‘enjoy’ the work etc but I feel like I would be so fed up and just not want to be there

I don’t know what I can do really
You sound very interesting to me,can we talk?
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waykee3
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#17
Report 10 months ago
#17
Same here. Cannot find any of my purpose in life and feel that what is the point for me being alive. As such, I mostly just lie on my bed and sleep.
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