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Have you ever watched yourself cry? watch

    • Thread Starter

    This is kind of more like a blog post tbh but feel free to reply (writing helps me to calm down and I don'y have a blog site)

    I'm having a really tough time recently with my mental health and I've just emailed my college (who are very supportive) to explain my next steps. I have problems talking about my issues, though, without starting to cry (and with group therapy sessions starting in a few weeks, I really need to get over this). Sometimes quite violently, others just a few tears. My desk is actually an old dressing table with a large mirror so I can see myself whenever I look up.

    I've just emailed them and felt myself going. I decided for some reason to stare back at myself and watched how I actually cry. I've never noticed how graceful it is to be honest. My eyes (already very sparkly blue) started to shine intensely. Then, one tear just fell and slowly started running in a straight line down from my eye, past my cheek, and off my chin. Then another, then another. And that was it. What felt like a moment of pure weakness appeared to be surprisingly dainty and gentle.

    It's now been about 3 minutes and I look totally normal again. No red face or anything. Maybe it's because after 5 years I'm used to it but it's made me realised how easy it is to go unnoticed in class or at break. What feels like horrific embarrassment often is missed by those around you.

    yes i have an ugly crying face lol
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