When a guy asks for space whats he thinking?

long story short, betrayed my ex and he doesn't trust or love me anymore, so we agreed to be friends but he wants space before we think about meeting as friends again because he said this has been hard for him as well. but why does he still need space - he kept saying this is hard for him too but what's hard about it if he says he doesn't love me anymore? why can't he speak to me as friends yet? he hasn't been nasty to me on text so i don't think he hates me he's been very nice and respectful so why won't he be my friend yet? does it mean he could still have feelings for me?
want to know from a guy's perspective what you would be thinking in this situation

Reply 1

Kiritsugu

18

Original post by Anonymous

long story short, betrayed my ex and he doesn't trust or love me anymore, so we agreed to be friends but he wants space before we think about meeting as friends again because he said this has been hard for him as well. but why does he still need space - he kept saying this is hard for him too but what's hard about it if he says he doesn't love me anymore? why can't he speak to me as friends yet? he hasn't been nasty to me on text so i don't think he hates me he's been very nice and respectful so why won't he be my friend yet? does it mean he could still have feelings for me?
want to know from a guy's perspective what you would be thinking in this situation

Yeah, that does seem quite weird and perplexing or maybe I'm making too big a deal out of it. I think if he wants space and you just want to be friends, then just allow him to have that space and don't pester him.

I am wondering why you want to be friends with him still - as in, are you just being nice or what?

Edit: You betrayed him??! Hmmm.... He probably does need a little space if his feelings are mixed up. I wonder if his definition of "Just friends" is the same as yours. I think you're thinking of "good friends" and he's just thinking of it as "acquaintances".

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 2

999tigger

19

Original post by Anonymous

long story short, betrayed my ex and he doesn't trust or love me anymore, so we agreed to be friends but he wants space before we think about meeting as friends again because he said this has been hard for him as well. but why does he still need space - he kept saying this is hard for him too but what's hard about it if he says he doesn't love me anymore? why can't he speak to me as friends yet? he hasn't been nasty to me on text so i don't think he hates me he's been very nice and respectful so why won't he be my friend yet? does it mean he could still have feelings for me?
want to know from a guy's perspective what you would be thinking in this situation

Because you have hurt and betrayed him.
He wnats to see if he has it in him to feel its worth being friends with you and for that he needs soem time to think about it.

Being a friend indicates needing to put into you a degree of trust and for some of his anger to subside. he might not be feeling that charitable.

In the end you are now exes and considering the situation I wouldnt be wanting to speak to you for 6-12 months if ever. Betrayal is a bad thing and he is unlikely to trust you again. Give him space so he can work it out for himself.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

I want to be friends to show him I;ve changed and he can start to trust me again now.. we were together for so long.. I just want to know what hes thinking cos he kept saying it's really hard for him too.. so maybe he means he still feels something that's why he doesnt want to be too friendly with me yet?

Reply 4

999tigger

19

Original post by Anonymous

I want to be friends to show him I;ve changed and he can start to trust me again now.. we were together for so long.. I just want to know what hes thinking cos he kept saying it's really hard for him too.. so maybe he means he still feels something that's why he doesnt want to be too friendly with me yet?

Why not give him space like he asked. Some people find it quite difficult being betrayed. He might decide he wants nothing to do with you. If you were together so long then maube he feels even more betrayed?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by 999tigger

Why not give him space like he asked. Some people find it quite difficult being betrayed. He might decide he wants nothing to do with you. If you were together so long then maube he feels even more betrayed?

if he agrees to see me as friends do you think that means he's giving me a chance to fix things.. he said he definitely will let me see him just not yet.. so that means he's giving me a chance right cos if he didn't like me anymore he would have just cut me off and told me to go away.. or is he just being nice?

Reply 6

999tigger

19

Original post by Anonymous

if he agrees to see me as friends do you think that means he's giving me a chance to fix things.. he said he definitely will let me see him just not yet.. so that means he's giving me a chance right cos if he didn't like me anymore he would have just cut me off and told me to go away.. or is he just being nice?

I have no idea and dont know either of you. If he has any sense he should take six months off and get his head together. Being friends would simply confuse things.

You are trying to read too much into it. Just take a break and maybe figure out why you got into such a state why you felt you thought cheating was a good option.

(edited 7 years ago)

When a guy asks for space whats he thinking?

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