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He never starts conversations first watch

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    I met this guy a 2 weeks ago, he asked for my number and we've had 3 conversations over text so far, and I've started each of them every few days. I wasn't even interested in him like that initially, but when we do converse, he is telling me that he really, really likes me, is interested in having a serious relationship with me, speaks to me really affectionately etc. Should I just not bother starting another conversation until he does?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I met this guy a 2 weeks ago, he asked for my number and we've had 3 conversations over text so far, and I've started each of them every few days. I wasn't even interested in him like that initially, but when we do converse, he is telling me that he really, really likes me, is interested in having a serious relationship with me, speaks to me really affectionately etc. Should I just not bother starting another conversation until he does?
    Then don't make one, see how that goes.
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    (Original post by ckfeister)
    Then don't make one, see how that goes.
    Yeah I was planning on doing that. I just hope he doesn't just not text me at all then. Our last conversation was literally him telling me how much he liked me and was telling me how we should be together so I would've thought he'd try to engage with me a little more.
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    Hes not into you, you're wasting your time
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    (Original post by samina_ay)
    Hes not into you, you're wasting your time
    But then why would he keep going on about how beautiful, sweet etc I was and how much he wanted to be with me, if he wasn't into me? I'm just confused now because now I've started to like him back :/
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    (Original post by samina_ay)
    Hes not into you, you're wasting your time
    Or he could be trying not to come across as needy
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    (Original post by AskingQsnow)
    Or he could be trying not to come across as needy
    He told me he is a really shy guy in general when I asked him why he'd never speak to me when we saw each other practically everyday, yet would confidently speak to my male cousin, he said I make him nervous. He doesn't even come across needy at all from my point of view, if anything.. I do.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He told me he is a really shy guy in general when I asked him why he'd never speak to me when we saw each other practically everyday, yet would confidently speak to my male cousin, he said I make him nervous. He doesn't even come across needy at all from my point of view, if anything.. I do.
    Could be that he thinks he'd be bothering you by messaging first
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    He could only be shy or something. The case of people overthinking "should I text him/her first" happens far too much. If he wasn't interested he wouldn't be saying those things
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    (Original post by AskingQsnow)
    Could be that he thinks he'd be bothering you by messaging first
    Yes possibly, the issue is now I just feel like I'M the one bothering him seeing as I keep saying hello and asking how he is each time
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    (Original post by _4everfaithful__)
    He could only be shy or something. The case of people overthinking "should I text him/her first" happens far too much. If he wasn't interested he wouldn't be saying those things
    Yeah I guess you're right. I'm not really one to keep messaging somebody first, it tends to work both ways so it just feels weird to keep having to make the effort with someone who came after me first.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I guess you're right. I'm not really one to keep messaging somebody first, it tends to work both ways so it just feels weird to keep having to make the effort with someone who came after me first.

    normally a guy acting like just isn't into you, but perhaps give him the benefit of the doubt because he is very shy.

    I suggest you call him out on it. Don't play games with tit for tat. Life's too short. Text him and say that he doesn't seem interested as he never texts you first and then DO NOT contact him again until he contacts you first.

    I'm not talking out of my ass here, I have actually done what I am recommending you to do to a girl before. I text her and quite bluntly said that she doesn't seem too interested as she doesn't seem to text much, I then said goodby to her and goodluck, and deleted her off facebook too....

    A week later she text back making excuses as to why she didn't text.

    After that I had no more problems with her about texting and she replied promptly and made convo too.

    Eventually though I pretty much stopped speaking to her as she cancelled one too many "dates". I honestly think she just wanted me as a backup guy or something, but perhaps your guy has some real interest in you.
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    I'm absolutely terrible at starting conversations generally so over text where I'm not necessarily forced into starting one like one is with irl I won't really bother texting people first unless I actually have come up with something semi-meaningful to say. Could be the same for him but I dunno how likely that is.

    Theoretically it could also be him overthinking texting things like a lot of people do ("omg I don't want to be needy" "omg if it's always me starting the conversations I look too eager arrgrgrhadhh), feels like he may be bothering you or it might be that he just isn't really that eager.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He told me he is a really shy guy in general when I asked him why he'd never speak to me when we saw each other practically everyday, yet would confidently speak to my male cousin, he said I make him nervous. He doesn't even come across needy at all from my point of view, if anything.. I do.
    For reference as a relatively introverted person myself I do get seriously nervous around girls I actually like but can quite happily talk to people around them no issue, so this sounds like something that could be legit.
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    (Original post by Retired_Messiah)
    I'm absolutely terrible at starting conversations generally so over text where I'm not necessarily forced into starting one like one is with irl I won't really bother texting people first unless I actually have come up with something semi-meaningful to say. Could be the same for him but I dunno how likely that is.

    Theoretically it could also be him overthinking texting things like a lot of people do ("omg I don't want to be needy" "omg if it's always me starting the conversations I look too eager arrgrgrhadhh), feels like he may be bothering you or it might be that he just isn't really that eager.


    For reference as a relatively introverted person myself I do get seriously nervous around girls I actually like but can quite happily talk to people around them no issue, so this sounds like something that could be legit.
    Thank you for responding and I understand what you're saying. What would you suggest I do? Leave him be until he decides to speak to me (if he even does), or speak to him again in a few days and say something jokingly like 'you never speak to me unless I speak to you!'?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you for responding and I understand what you're saying. What would you suggest I do? Leave him be until he decides to speak to me (if he even does), or speak to him again in a few days and say something jokingly like 'you never speak to me unless I speak to you!'?
    Either would be reasonable, really.
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    Literally no idea why this should matter a few convos in. Can someone help me out here?:mute:
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Literally no idea why this should matter a few convos in. Can someone help me out here?:mute:
    You dont know? Its not cool anymore to actually care for someone anymore because you come across too "clingy". Oh well.
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Literally no idea why this should matter a few convos in. Can someone help me out here?:mute:
    I get confused because I hear all sorts of things from different people such as don't message him first or you'll took too eager and it puts him off you, or wait a few days and let him miss you, or don't message him until he messages you and if he doesn't then he's just not into you. I actually really like this boy and don't want to put him off me by bothering him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I hear all sorts of things from different people
    Different kids,* you mean. Don't listen to children, listen to instinct. If it feels right, and the vibe is good, roll with it

    wait a few days and let him miss you
    Girls frequently complain about 'game players', yet spout this kind of crap. This is schoolyard tactics of the lowest order. Don't be that (manipulative) girl, show respect/maturity and life/love will surely reward thee

    I actually really like this boy and don't want to put him off me by bothering him
    I expect you're astute enough to pickup on the signs if/when you're bothering someone. He sounds keen, so do not be deterred, do what suits you, be yourself
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    Maybe he's busier than you.
 
 
 
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