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Muslim boy wants to be with me, I'm Muslim too watch

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    My father, mother and I went to this other town to stay a couple of weeks ago, and there was a boy working there. He was more interested in speaking to my father than me, they were both laughing hysterically together and got on so well they exchanged numbers. We kept coming back to this place everyday and the boy would only speak to my dad and then he finally spoke to me and asked for my number when we were alone.

    Over text, he keeps telling me how much he likes me and 'wants a serious relationship with me'. He says things like 'your father won't mind' or 'your dad will understand that I like you' etc. I don't know if he is a being serious or not, did he get to know my dad so he could get in his good books then speak to me? I don't know if he'll just try and use me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My father, mother and I went to this other town to stay a couple of weeks ago, and there was a boy working there. He was more interested in speaking to my father than me, they were both laughing hysterically together and got on so well they exchanged numbers. We kept coming back to this place everyday and the boy would only speak to my dad and then he finally spoke to me and asked for my number when we were alone.

    Over text, he keeps telling me how much he likes me and 'wants a serious relationship with me'. He says things like 'your father won't mind' or 'your dad will understand that I like you' etc. I don't know if he is a being serious or not, did he get to know my dad so he could get in his good books then speak to me? I don't know if he'll just try and use me.
    if your parents are happy for you to be in a relationship then give it a try at least you have your parents with you and support you and even if he is being jokey about it then your parents can give you an emotional support which can help a little
    You might be able to tell if he is being serious or not by the way he talks, his body language :erm: but if you still aren't sure than ask him to give you some time :yy:
    goodluck
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My father, mother and I went to this other town to stay a couple of weeks ago, and there was a boy working there. He was more interested in speaking to my father than me, they were both laughing hysterically together and got on so well they exchanged numbers. We kept coming back to this place everyday and the boy would only speak to my dad and then he finally spoke to me and asked for my number when we were alone.Over text, he keeps telling me how much he likes me and 'wants a serious relationship with me'. He says things like 'your father won't mind' or 'your dad will understand that I like you' etc. I don't know if he is a being serious or not, did he get to know my dad so he could get in his good books then speak to me? I don't know if he'll just try and use me.
    you're not supposed to engage in unnecessary chit chat with him, otherwise give him a chance I guess?
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    I see it that you have 2 options, ask your father what he thinks (or your mother). or, decide if you like him and speak to him first. If you feel unsure or how your parents will take it or what possible implications it may have with your faith, speak to a parent or alternatively a trusted adult, friend, or maybe a religious leader. alternatively, you can talk to him about how YOU feel and go from there, whatever the outcome of the conversation is. Remember, though, your own personal happinness and well-being should come first. Best of luck!
    P.S. (I know very little about the Muslim faith but have Muslim friends and I know that they take relationship matters very seriously.)
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    The fact he's gotten to know your dad suggests that he's not just going to use you, and if he did only get to know your dad so well in order to get closer to you seems like a plus.
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    If I was somebody who wanted to use a girl I wouldn't go through the extra rigmarole of building rapport with the family first.

    I suppose there's a chance that this boy is just highly inefficient but that doesn't seem likely in my mind.
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    (Original post by User1212)
    you're not supposed to engage in unnecessary chit chat with him, otherwise give him a chance I guess?
    Yeah I think I'll give him a chance. I already told him I want to stay friends for now and get to know him more before we start thinking like that. Plus, I won't be seeing him for quite a few months anyway because where he lives and works, isn't very near to me. He said he'd 'wait for me'. My dad has no idea this boy likes me, nor does he know we have each others numbers and we've been texting.
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    Stop talking to him and tell your dad or tell him to tell your dad that he is interested. A Muslim man doesn't play around, if he is interested he will go straight to the father and ask permission to get to know the daughter. Not have silly chit chat in private.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I think I'll give him a chance. I already told him I want to stay friends for now and get to know him more before we start thinking like that. Plus, I won't be seeing him for quite a few months anyway because where he lives and works, isn't very near to me. He said he'd 'wait for me'. My dad has no idea this boy likes me, nor does he know we have each others numbers and we've been texting.
    h333 HAnwar IdeasForLife please advise the sister as I'm not really sure
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    Stop texting him and wait for your parents to arrange your marriage before they honor kill you 😂😂😂😂😂
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    (Original post by donutellme)
    The fact he's gotten to know your dad suggests that he's not just going to use you, and if he did only get to know your dad so well in order to get closer to you seems like a plus.
    Yeah you're right. I was a bit anxious that he might just want to have 'fun' because I don't really dress conservatively and look westernized, but I don't think he would try to use me or something seeing as my father knows him very well, and they do both respect each other. He tried try to flirt with me by sending me the wink emoji followed by the bride emoji and keeps addressing me as 'my love' so maybe he wants to start a relationship with marriage one day in mind
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    (Original post by Kraixo)
    Stop talking to him and tell your dad or tell him to tell your dad that he is interested. A Muslim man doesn't play around, if he is interested he will go straight to the father and ask permission to get to know the daughter. Not have silly chit chat in private.
    Basically this.

    Since he has your dad's number, tell him to speak to your dad about marriage.
    His response will tell you if he's serious or not.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by Kraixo)
    Stop talking to him and tell your dad or tell him to tell your dad that he is interested. A Muslim man doesn't play around, if he is interested he will go straight to the father and ask permission to get to know the daughter. Not have silly chit chat in private.
    I'm a bit embarrassed to tell my dad that this boy actually likes me and has been saying these things to me because we don't talk about things like this. I don't even want to ask the boy if he's spoken to my dad already in case he actually does go and message my dad. I'd rather just get to know him myself before letting my parents in on this.
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    (Original post by HAnwar)
    Basically this.

    Since he has your dad's number, tell him to speak to your dad about marriage.
    His response will tell you if he's serious or not.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I'm not interested in marrying him yet, I don't even know him well enough as friends so far. Marriage would be like 4-5 years off. I'm going back to that town with my friends next time and without my parents, so I can speak to him one to one and he said we could meet up and hang out a lot more.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My father, mother and I went to this other town to stay a couple of weeks ago, and there was a boy working there. He was more interested in speaking to my father than me, they were both laughing hysterically together and got on so well they exchanged numbers. We kept coming back to this place everyday and the boy would only speak to my dad and then he finally spoke to me and asked for my number when we were alone.

    Over text, he keeps telling me how much he likes me and 'wants a serious relationship with me'. He says things like 'your father won't mind' or 'your dad will understand that I like you' etc. I don't know if he is a being serious or not, did he get to know my dad so he could get in his good books then speak to me? I don't know if he'll just try and use me.
    Assalaamu Alaykum
    Well if he really wants to be in a relationship and you do too, then you should do it the halaal way. Get your family involved. Get to know each other better by meeting up but not alone (with a mahram present), then see if it can progress from there. I would advise you to not continue talking to him over texts or calls unless he is willing to have group chat where there is a third person (mahram) involved too. Tell him about it and if he agrees then he is being serious, otherwise it is best not to contact him. It is the only way to find out insha'Allah.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not interested in marrying him yet, I don't even know him well enough as friends so far. Marriage would be like 4-5 years off. I'm going back to that town with my friends next time and without my parents, so I can speak to him one to one and he said we could meet up and hang out a lot more.
    I would strongly advise against that. Not only will it break your dad's trust, it will break the good relationship your dad and that guy has.

    You can go back with your dad and the three of you can spend some time together and get to know each other more.

    Meeting up in secret will only make matters worse. Like you said, you don't even know the guy, anything could happen.
    Nothing good comes out of a haram relationship.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not interested in marrying him yet, I don't even know him well enough as friends so far. Marriage would be like 4-5 years off. I'm going back to that town with my friends next time and without my parents, so I can speak to him one to one and he said we could meet up and hang out a lot more.
    If you're not interested then I suggest you cut contact. You don't know what can happen in 4-5 years time, the way you are going about this is wrong. Hanging around and all this malarkey is haram. Better to keep things halal.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a bit embarrassed to tell my dad that this boy actually likes me and has been saying these things to me because we don't talk about things like this. I don't even want to ask the boy if he's spoken to my dad already in case he actually does go and message my dad. I'd rather just get to know him myself before letting my parents in on this.
    I understand. But such relationships aren't permissible for Muslims, your dad must know that you guys are talking in such a manner and must be aware of the conversation and be within islamic limits, it's for your own protection, it takes another man to see through another mans intentions. Have a look at this it might be of use:- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAFrYwN0fL4
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    (Original post by Leukocyte)
    If you're not interested then I suggest you cut contact. You don't know what can happen in 4-5 years time, the way you are going about this is wrong. Hanging around all all this malarkey is haram. Better to keep things halal.
    I am interested in having a relationship with him, but I would need to know him for a long time before I even considered marrying him. At the moment, I know very little about him and I need to know more about the kind of person he is and that is why I want to hang out with him. He may act differently if my father is with me because he's limited as to what he can and can't say to me - he practically ignores me if I'm stood with my father, but if I'm with friends around our age then he is likely to be a lot more relaxed, and himself.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am interested in having a relationship with him, but I would need to know him for a long time before I even considered marrying him. At the moment, I know very little about him and I need to know more about the kind of person he is and that is why I want to hang out with him. He may act differently if my father is with me because he's limited as to what he can and can't say to me - he practically ignores me if I'm stood with my father, but if I'm with friends around our age then he is likely to be a lot more relaxed, and himself.
    You don't need to know someone for a long time to get married to them. Your family can do that bit for you too. He's more likely going to change his attitude when he's alone with you/around you. Like I said sis this isn't the correct way. Please don't go ahead and lie to your brain that it will be okay. It won't be. Stay away from haram relationships, it's so easy to commit a sin.
 
 
 
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