Im in my second year at university studying textiles and I'm struggling like mad. I can do the work!! But i have really struggled being away from home. I am really close to all my family and have always had real difficulties leaving them, but since going to uni its all been magnified. Coming home in the summer after first year I basially had a complete breakdown. I was terrified about going back to university. I have started back, part time at the moment, but I don't see how I can continue. But what am i meant to do instead? The plan was always to go to university and enjoy it and do well. But I don't feel like that is even possible. But if I decide to drop out. My parents don't want me at home, they have their own lives now. Because I'm at home its causing so many arguments. My mum is always yelling at me that Ive done something wrong, and then always coming out with "well you wouldn't have to deal with this if you just went back to university".It hurts me so much when she says this because I know she doesn't understand why I'm ill, why I cant just snap out of it. I know that they would be so disappointed with me if I dropped out. But how am i meant to go through another year of hell. I have no idea what to do and i feel so very lost. Help me!!
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Extreme anxiety and Depression watch
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Last edited by lid007; 30-10-2016 at 12:54.
- 30-10-2016 12:52
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- 30-10-2016 16:02
I think the first thing you need to do, if you haven't already, is open up and talk to your parents - don't say you want to drop out, tell them that you think you're depressed and you need help. They probably only get angry because they don't realise that being away from home is making you ill.
I'm sure it isn't true that your parents don't want you at home. Have you asked them if they'd mind you staying at home if you studied at a nearby university, or even via distance learning (the Open College of the Arts does a distance learning Textiles degree - you may be able to transfer into it).
- 30-10-2016 17:29
I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time! Nothing can ever prepare you for feeling that low, trust me I know how you feel and I'm sure so many others do too. I've struggled with depression on and off for a few years now, and I've learnt a few things in the process:
1) Never make a big decision (like dropping out) when you're feeling hopeless and depressed. When you come out of it (and you will!) that decision might be your biggest regret.
2) Depression, or any kind of low, can be overcome if you remember that it isn't your circumstance, it's your mindset. That being said, you can't ignore the fact that it's also got to do with a chemical imbalance and therefore you can't blame yourself for it, just accept that you need to be patient because it WILL pass.
3) Depression makes motivation non existent and so like you said, it's impossible to get anything done which just makes you feel worse, and so continues the vicious cycle. However, if you think less about what you need to be doing in terms of what is expected from you, and concentrate more on smaller tasks of less importance, you'll slowly build your confidence up to complete the bigger ones. Focus on doing yourself justice, try and make yourself proud even with the smallest things. You're really struggling and that's okay, it just takes a bit of time but you'll get there.
Now moving away from home is really difficult, but at some point you're going to have to move on and make a life of your own and honestly you'll never really be