Turn on thread page Beta

Dating dilemma - 2 girls watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    anon or delete

    So I started chatting to 2 girls via online dating.They both seemed nice. Girl 1 I started talking to back in June, but she went on holiday travelling around Asia, and didn't come back till September. So I lost interest and I started talking to someone else, lets call her Girl 2. Girl 2 was too busy with work to meet up, and while waiting for her not to be busy Girl 1 came back and contacted me.

    So recently I met up with Girl 1 for the first time. Date went well, nice, funny girl. Our personalities are a little bit different so I'm not 100% sure on compatibility yet, but I'd like to give it a go(opposites attract right?!), also found her quite attractive.

    Then Girl 2 got in contact wanting to meet for the first time. Personality wise she was very nice, we got along well and I can tell that our personalities are compatible. However she looked a bit different from her photo. I really hate to sound shallow but she didn't make much effort with her appearance, no make up at all, plain clothes, I wasn't attracted straight away. I make an effort with my appearance by styling my hair and trying to wear something somewhat fashionable, all I ask for is the same effort in return, am I being unreasonable? If she made a bit of an effort in her appearance like in her photos(which were from a wedding), just a bit of foundation and a bit of eye liner or something basic like that I would find her attractive like I found her photos attractive. It's a shame because we got along quite well, but I just wasn't physically attracted and I don't want to lead her on if my feelings won't change.

    Anyways, I am going to be seeing Girl 1 again this week, if it goes really well, then I will contact Girl 2 and tell her I don't wanna lead her on, I'm not sure there's chemistry, and maybe we can stay friends.

    However, I'm thinking - am I being a bit harsh, does Girl 2 at the very least deserve a second date before I come to that conclusion? In the second date she might make more of an effort and I may end up finding her attractive(maybe even more than girl 1). Girl 2 has been making an effort(more than girl 1) to contact me via txt, so she is obviously keen, this makes me feel bad for not giving her at least a 2nd date before deciding...

    By the way, it's not like I'm cheating on them because I'm not together with either of them yet I've literally only had 1 date with each. Once I know who I want to pursue a relationship with I will obviously contact the other one and say it isn't working out.

    But what should I do, give each 1 more date and then decide?
    • Community Assistant
    • Very Important Poster

    Community Assistant
    Very Important Poster
    1 date is nothing. You've not had "the talk" yet. You aren't cheating.
    • Very Important Poster

    Very Important Poster
    Until you are exclusive then you are free to date. Go with your gut. Yeah you seem a bit shallow imo, but go with it.
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 31, 2016
The home of Results and Clearing


people online now


students helped last year
A-level students - how do you feel about your results?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.