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Really Struggling at Uni watch

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    2nd year at uni has been a disaster for me so far, last year I`d go as far as saying it was the best year of my life. I was in a flat with 5 really nice girls (I`m a guy so it was a little bit strange ) and for someone with bad social anxiety it did my confidence wonders having a social life and being able to actually have normal conversations with girls. At the end of the year they went off and did their own thing in terms of housing so I was kind of at a loose end so went to private halls. These new flatmates are horrible and I avoid them as much as I can time my meals to avoid them and go in/out as fast as possible), its been over 2 months and I dont know all their names yet (this isn`t down to not properly introducing myself, I did that when i moved it but they were horrible and have just been ***** so far).

    I just don`t know what to do at Uni as I feel like I`m in a downward spiral, I know I should join societies but I`ve left it too late and just don`t have the confidence to do that. My flatmates were my only/best friends last year and I just assumed naively that they would ask me to live with them and now my social life consists of staying in my room all night on the laptop. It feels crazy as I`m at uni, probably the most social situation you could be in and I go days even weeks without having a conversation with people about more than just the work. My friends at home have all moved on with their lives also and I`ve gone home every weekend so far as I`m hating it so much.

    I`ve never ever been this miserable and would quit uni if it wasn`t my 2nd year as I`m not throwing what I`ve done down the drain but its just depressing at the moment and I`ll be in an identical situation next year. I`m considering going to the uni mental health support but its rubbish as you have to do a 15min phone interview to determine your problem when i just want to go into a room with a councillor or someone and talk about it. As I`ve said I just don`t really know what to do with my situation.
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    it might not be too late to join societies, check before you're sure!


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    2nd year at uni has been a disaster for me so far, last year I`d go as far as saying it was the best year of my life. I was in a flat with 5 really nice girls (I`m a guy so it was a little bit strange ) and for someone with bad social anxiety it did my confidence wonders having a social life and being able to actually have normal conversations with girls. At the end of the year they went off and did their own thing in terms of housing so I was kind of at a loose end so went to private halls. These new flatmates are horrible and I avoid them as much as I can time my meals to avoid them and go in/out as fast as possible), its been over 2 months and I dont know all their names yet (this isn`t down to not properly introducing myself, I did that when i moved it but they were horrible and have just been ***** so far).

    I just don`t know what to do at Uni as I feel like I`m in a downward spiral, I know I should join societies but I`ve left it too late and just don`t have the confidence to do that. My flatmates were my only/best friends last year and I just assumed naively that they would ask me to live with them and now my social life consists of staying in my room all night on the laptop. It feels crazy as I`m at uni, probably the most social situation you could be in and I go days even weeks without having a conversation with people about more than just the work. My friends at home have all moved on with their lives also and I`ve gone home every weekend so far as I`m hating it so much.

    I`ve never ever been this miserable and would quit uni if it wasn`t my 2nd year as I`m not throwing what I`ve done down the drain but its just depressing at the moment and I`ll be in an identical situation next year. I`m considering going to the uni mental health support but its rubbish as you have to do a 15min phone interview to determine your problem when i just want to go into a room with a councillor or someone and talk about it. As I`ve said I just don`t really know what to do with my situation.
    If halls are that bad for you you can talk to uni and see if they can help. I got help with my housing because my anxiety meant I couldn't live with other people and they may be able to help you too. They might have spare rooms at uni, know of cheap flats you could move to etc. It's worth asking. Your private halls may also be able to move you to a different flat if yours is really bad.

    It is never too late to join societies! Find one that interests you or that seems simple (film societies are pretty common and outdoors ones are mostly socials rather than outings) and give it a go. You can even ask if you can just try out one seiion to start.

    Do talk to uni student support. You can be honest and say you don't like the idea of a phone interview if you want.
    You can also talk to your doctor. They can help you find counseling and therapy and give you advice. If you do have a diagnosable mh condition too you could apply for DSA. That gives you extra help at uni.

    I know how hard uni can be- I dropped out twice cos of it. Please try to get support though. It is so much worse if you suffer in silence. There is help out there and although it may be a pain to get to it can make a real difference
 
 
 
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