The Student Room Group

My flatmates are taking advantage right?

I don't get much money as parents are on benefits so just rely on my grants/loans.

When I say im badly off I really mean it, its a struggle for me to even buy shopping every week and I rely on multibuys which ends up me costing a little more but originally intended to split with flatmates therefore we all get one at a cheap price plus I always ask first by messaging them and they say they will share.

But what has ended up happening is either they wanted the item for FREE stating "well you bought 2 and got 1 free therefore I will get the free one" or similar, or waiting to item goes back up in price then taking one of mine then only paying the equivalent and not the cost to replace it.

Basically they want stuff but too lazy to get it themselves so want to get it when its cheapest and me to store it till they run out and then still pay the lower amount.

Even had a few "I can't afford to pay you, let me do so at weekend" only for them to for example get taxis to lectures, or buy drinks at union, or a takeaway amd still expect me to believe they are skint.

Funnily enough on the flip side one time I was so skint I asked for £1.50 from flatmate as my money wasn't due in yet and he moaned like I was asking for a kings ransom and I said I would pay him back the next day (as was getting an emergency payment from college but only like £20) The next day I got back late and was too tired to see him and I saw him in hall and said "hello" and he just walked past me, next morning he was knocking on my door whinging about how I took advantage of him borrowing money and had no respect etc.

Scroll to see replies

Original post by Anonymous
I don't get much money as parents are on benefits so just rely on my grants/loans.

When I say im badly off I really mean it, its a struggle for me to even buy shopping every week and I rely on multibuys which ends up me costing a little more but originally intended to split with flatmates therefore we all get one at a cheap price plus I always ask first by messaging them and they say they will share.

But what has ended up happening is either they wanted the item for FREE stating "well you bought 2 and got 1 free therefore I will get the free one" or similar, or waiting to item goes back up in price then taking one of mine then only paying the equivalent and not the cost to replace it.

Basically they want stuff but too lazy to get it themselves so want to get it when its cheapest and me to store it till they run out and then still pay the lower amount.

Even had a few "I can't afford to pay you, let me do so at weekend" only for them to for example get taxis to lectures, or buy drinks at union, or a takeaway amd still expect me to believe they are skint.

Funnily enough on the flip side one time I was so skint I asked for £1.50 from flatmate as my money wasn't due in yet and he moaned like I was asking for a kings ransom and I said I would pay him back the next day (as was getting an emergency payment from college but only like £20) The next day I got back late and was too tired to see him and I saw him in hall and said "hello" and he just walked past me, next morning he was knocking on my door whinging about how I took advantage of him borrowing money and had no respect etc.


Wtf! Yeah they're taking the piss.
They are snakes.
It's because you let them. You need to stop buying things for them.
Reply 4
Original post by Tiger Rag
It's because you let them. You need to stop buying things for them.


To be clear I don't automatically do so, its more that if I plan to get something and I know its on offer I ask if they want to share.

I don't just go "im off to the shops, want anything" Or at least I have done that but if its to corner shops I ask for money first, if they ask for a packet of biscuits that costs £1 and I have some biscuits left but running low and they are buy one get one free I will buy both and give flatmate 50p back.

I suppose thats another argument I have had with them though, lets say I do that and next time I go out its £1 again the flatmates accuse me of steaing their 50p saying "it cost 50p last time" Its a similar argument to when I actually have bought something for say 50p on a offer that may of lasted weekend and tis gone up to like £1.50 after and the flatmates would take it and then give me 50p so I have lost out.

To me the fact I have gone to shops and brought stuff back for them should mean they are easier on me rather than complain about fluctuating prices.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
To be clear I don't automatically do so, its more that if I plan to get something and I know its on offer I ask if they want to share.

I don't just go "im off to the shops, want anything" Or at least I have done that but if its to corner shops I ask for money first, if they ask for a packet of biscuits that costs £1 and I have some biscuits left but running low and they are buy one get one free I will buy both and give flatmate 50p back.

I suppose thats another argument I have had with them though, lets say I do that and next time I go out its £1 again the flatmates accuse me of steaing their 50p saying "it cost 50p last time" Its a similar argument to when I actually have bought something for say 50p on a offer that may of lasted weekend and tis gone up to like £1.50 after and the flatmates would take it and then give me 50p so I have lost out.

To me the fact I have gone to shops and brought stuff back for them should mean they are easier on me rather than complain about fluctuating prices.


You should keep your groceries and prices separate from your flatmates. Just because it's buy one get one free, doesn't mean you're obliged to give them anything or ask for 50p in return. This is where problems start and people take advantage (get greedy). I would never ask my flat mates for money either.

Don't you have parents, siblings or a job to help you out? I can understand your parents are on benefits but surely they can transfer you £1.50 if you desperately need it. I get maintenance grant aswell etc.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 6
Stop doing people favours, you're getting mugged off.
Reply 7
Original post by Ishax
You should keep your groceries and prices separate from your flatmates. Just because it's buy one get one free, doesn't mean you're obliged to give them anything or ask for 50p in return. This is where problems start and people take advantage (get greedy). I would never ask my flat mates for money either.

Don't you have parents, siblings or a job to help you out? I can understand your parents are on benefits but surely they can transfer you £1.50 if you desperately need it. I get maintenance grant aswell etc.


My parents struggle at best of times, but right now having bigger financial problems.

They refuse to get any form of debt like credit cards and cannot get things like overdrafts.

£1.50 for them is doable but would mean the difference between not eating for a meal (as dad can make a meal for 4 inc dessert for around £1-£1.50)

Each time they get savings its swallowed up by things like needing a new washing machine/fridge or visiting a sick relative.
Stop buying things for them and keep your valuable food items in your room. And if they ask if you have something just say no i didnt buy any. Pretend that youre not shopping as much anymore because right now they see you as the main grocery shopper.
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
My parents struggle at best of times, but right now having bigger financial problems.

They refuse to get any form of debt like credit cards and cannot get things like overdrafts.

£1.50 for them is doable but would mean the difference between not eating for a meal (as dad can make a meal for 4 inc dessert for around £1-£1.50)

Each time they get savings its swallowed up by things like needing a new washing machine/fridge or visiting a sick relative.


There's an option for debit cards, I have one but I don't have credit cards. Without debit card I wouldn't be able to survive. My parents can transfer me and my sister money in an emergency if we need it. If I want to shop online or order take out, I need a debit card to pay online. A debit card cannot get you into debt. A credit card can because you have an overdraft.

Out of curiosity, how do your parents pay bills without a debit and credit card? In my house everything is on direct debit so it goes out automatically and my parents don't have to do it once a month or "forget" then get into trouble and debt perhaps. We also get emails once a month outlining our bill for that month, how much will be taken out (if it's changed etc) and we can also check if necessary.

On washing machine and essentials like that, you really should have insurance as it works out better. We have insurance on all of ours (washing machine, tumble dryer and dishwasher).
(edited 7 years ago)
My parents do have debit cards yes but you can't spend what you don't have on them, and their bills are paid by direct debit.

And yes they do have insurance but it doesn't cover things like this.
If your parents are on benefits then aren't you getting the maximum loan and bursaries from your university?
Original post by Dusky Mauve
If your parents are on benefits then aren't you getting the maximum loan and bursaries from your university?


Im at college, and even if I was at university the increased overheads would mean I wasn't much better off.
Reply 13
Firstly, yes they are taking advantage.
Secondly, stop relying on those multibuys to earn a bit of cash from your flatmates. It's hard to deal with money related things with others, especially with people who you are constantly near you, as arguments can easily start and things can get awkward.
Find a part time job or something instead, it will be hard to study at the same time but if you have to then just do it. Many people do.
Just buy the cheapest items available, if you're buying a multi buy, why don't you just keep the free item for yourself as it means you won't have to spend money on buying another one next time?
Original post by Oragon
Firstly, yes they are taking advantage.
Secondly, stop relying on those multibuys to earn a bit of cash from your flatmates. It's hard to deal with money related things with others, especially with people who you are constantly near you, as arguments can easily start and things can get awkward.
Find a part time job or something instead, it will be hard to study at the same time but if you have to then just do it. Many people do.
Just buy the cheapest items available, if you're buying a multi buy, why don't you just keep the free item for yourself as it means you won't have to spend money on buying another one next time?


My money is to the point I have under £10 a week to pay for everything closer to £5, and even budget stuff now is about 50p each so getting a multibuy means after buying them I may have zero money left for rest of week as is.

And yes I have been applying for work constantly.

And I wasn't relying on them for cash as much as just survival knowing multibuys if shared will cost everyone less.
Reply 15
Original post by Anonymous
My money is to the point I have under £10 a week to pay for everything closer to £5, and even budget stuff now is about 50p each so getting a multibuy means after buying them I may have zero money left for rest of week as is.

And yes I have been applying for work constantly.

And I wasn't relying on them for cash as much as just survival knowing multibuys if shared will cost everyone less.


hope I didn't sound rude :biggrin: I was just trying to say that if you need to earn cash, your roommates aren't the best choice. Why not try to sell the stuff to friends that won't take advantage instead? Also, its unfortunate you can't find a job yet. The most common places where my friends in uni apply to are places like waterstones, tesco, starbucks, aldi etc. and they all got employed pretty easily. Some also offer tutoring for GCSEs etc. for as low as £10 per 1h session, which is decent I guess if you really need the money.
You really just need to stop shopping for them and stop sharing things with them. If it's not working for you (which it clearly isn't) then just stop doing it.
Original post by Anonymous
I don't get much money as parents are on benefits so just rely on my grants/loans.

When I say im badly off I really mean it, its a struggle for me to even buy shopping every week and I rely on multibuys which ends up me costing a little more but originally intended to split with flatmates therefore we all get one at a cheap price plus I always ask first by messaging them and they say they will share.

But what has ended up happening is either they wanted the item for FREE stating "well you bought 2 and got 1 free therefore I will get the free one" or similar, or waiting to item goes back up in price then taking one of mine then only paying the equivalent and not the cost to replace it.

Basically they want stuff but too lazy to get it themselves so want to get it when its cheapest and me to store it till they run out and then still pay the lower amount.

Even had a few "I can't afford to pay you, let me do so at weekend" only for them to for example get taxis to lectures, or buy drinks at union, or a takeaway amd still expect me to believe they are skint.

Funnily enough on the flip side one time I was so skint I asked for £1.50 from flatmate as my money wasn't due in yet and he moaned like I was asking for a kings ransom and I said I would pay him back the next day (as was getting an emergency payment from college but only like £20) The next day I got back late and was too tired to see him and I saw him in hall and said "hello" and he just walked past me, next morning he was knocking on my door whinging about how I took advantage of him borrowing money and had no respect etc.


I understand what you're going through. always remember you're in these game alone, try and be self made, you can get a part time job,believe me it will really help. don't let people take you for granted.
Hahahha yep that is mate I know some people who like to physically abuse others and they will tell you to stop eating fat because they 're afraid of me because I weigh more than 110kg and am taller than them. Literally yes anything is possible it's more than 50 shades of gray more like 5000 and then that's just rediculous you bought them they probably know you 're not that well off so are doing it on purpose.
Original post by Anonymous
My parents do have debit cards yes but you can't spend what you don't have on them, and their bills are paid by direct debit.

And yes they do have insurance but it doesn't cover things like this.


Original post by Ishax
There's an option for debit cards, I have one but I don't have credit cards. Without debit card I wouldn't be able to survive. My parents can transfer me and my sister money in an emergency if we need it. If I want to shop online or order take out, I need a debit card to pay online. A debit card cannot get you into debt. A credit card can because you have an overdraft.

Out of curiosity, how do your parents pay bills without a debit and credit card? In my house everything is on direct debit so it goes out automatically and my parents don't have to do it once a month or "forget" then get into trouble and debt perhaps. We also get emails once a month outlining our bill for that month, how much will be taken out (if it's changed etc) and we can also check if necessary.

On washing machine and essentials like that, you really should have insurance as it works out better. We have insurance on all of ours (washing machine, tumble dryer and dishwasher).


You can definitely get overdrafts on debit cards so you can "spend what you don't have" on them

Quick Reply

Latest