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    Hi, this may seem like an odd title for a thread but unfortunately it pretty much summarizes my mental frame of mind. For as far back as I can remember I've been unable to sustain an interest in anything for more than a few weeks, it doesn't tend to go much further than the surface... I simply cannot 'engross' myself in anything, something which I find unsettling. Also, movies and media really don't seem to provoke much of an emotional response from me. I'm not sure if I was always like this but all I know is that right now my only emotions are despair and hopelessness. I simply cannot interact with what's on offer... or break out of this 'isolation tank'. Nothing seems to elict interest and I have precious few opinions on anything, I don't know how that's even possible... but it seems to be for me. I feel like I have no personality whatsoever, because opinions, beliefs and emotional reactions define a personality right? It's not that I'm friendless or can't laugh, I can put on a veneer... and usually BS my way through life... but I feel like a chameleon, I'm always adapting to the people I'm with... there's no strong sense of 'me'.

    One of the most unsettling experiences I had was being in a police station and being informed of the consequences of fairly minor property damage I commited when drunk. I was with my parents who did most of the talking but nonethless you'd expect significantly more emotion than I was displaying. In fact my mind was effectively a blank slate, I passed the whole interview staring at the wall... I couldn't have cared less... which may sound selfish, I know I should have... but honestly there was no emotion whatsoever.

    It's occured to me that I simply don't know myself at all... and this gets me depressed a lot. In fact I'm on medication for it. Sometimes maybe for a week or two I feel a good bit better and more alive again... but it always passes.

    I know it sounds like a lot of *******s but honestly I have very little sense of self...

    Has anyone else ever felt like this? It's so hard to explain... but is it quite common among depressed people or are my problems perhaps deeper than depression?
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    you dont think you are individual enough? most people arent set in their ways until they are much older, they judge their environment and either take to things or they don't...


    you've never had the rush after watching a die hard film that you wanna kick some ass and shout yippie kaay ayy mutha...
    your heart has never beated really fast when confronted by a group of thugs...when an incredibly attractive girl walks over to you in a club...when someone insults your family you've never felt angry? do you not have a favourite type of music - or at least music that you know you dont like...

    the world is massive i think the most important thing is finding the right people to enjoy it or hate it with...or at least the right person.
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    i understand how you feel. lately, i have been experiencing thoughts like yours, and contemplating personalities and how they are formed. i too find it hard to really find something i like because i get bored so easily, and feel at times like i dont really have my own identity.

    i'm afraid the only advice i have to offer is to push yourself to try things you haven't tried before. although you feel you haven't got a true sense of who you are, perhaps there are some genres of books/films you have gravitated towards more in the past than others - maybe the idea of them is appealing, but when it gets down to it, they dont actually hold your interest? just try something which is a completely, brand new concept to you.

    also, maybe start to keep a diary. write about the things youve done that day, what you have liked and disliked. perhaps writing about yourself will make you more in tune with yourself? and reading over your diary might help you to get to know yourself better.
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    because opinions, beliefs and emotional reactions define a personality right?
    not entirely.
    I can kind of relate to a few things you've said. I mean I have no hobbies really and am only interested in a few things, which isn't the 'norm'.
    When you say you have no emotion I don't believe this, everyone has emotion. My sense of self is a bit blurred but I still know what kind of personality I have, I know my traits and who I am as a person. I don't think depression has that much to do with it for me...but yeah for you perhaps. Maybe you spend alot of time in your own world, where your mind is just blank, I do that all the time and it feels like your in a foreign place. Anyway I can't help here.
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    sense of self - if you don't hang around with people of similar interests, and i guess, personalities, then your own sense of self isn't confirmed to you so much. Maybe this is when doubt surfaces, when you're with people with personalities a tad foreign to that of your own, maybe you don't quite know how to behave, you get frustrated and the 'real you' cannot and doesn't surface, purely because it can't, it's not triggered and appropriate for the given social situations....(my first year at uni in a nutshell).

    I'm not saying not to socialize and interact with people who are different to you in personality, what i am saying is the real significance of finding people and hanging out with people who share some or a fair few of your own character traits, otherwise things can get quite depressing and everyone needs some re-confirmation of real self, on a frequent basis. Otherwise you can forget who you are and really believe you're quite the dull personality.

    heheh, how many marks out of ten do i get for chatting ****?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, this may seem like an odd title for a thread but unfortunately it pretty much summarizes my mental frame of mind. For as far back as I can remember I've been unable to sustain an interest in anything for more than a few weeks, it doesn't tend to go much further than the surface... I simply cannot 'engross' myself in anything, something which I find unsettling. Also, movies and media really don't seem to provoke much of an emotional response from me. I'm not sure if I was always like this but all I know is that right now my only emotions are despair and hopelessness. I simply cannot interact with what's on offer... or break out of this 'isolation tank'. Nothing seems to elict interest and I have precious few opinions on anything, I don't know how that's even possible... but it seems to be for me. I feel like I have no personality whatsoever, because opinions, beliefs and emotional reactions define a personality right? It's not that I'm friendless or can't laugh, I can put on a veneer... and usually BS my way through life... but I feel like a chameleon, I'm always adapting to the people I'm with... there's no strong sense of 'me'.

    One of the most unsettling experiences I had was being in a police station and being informed of the consequences of fairly minor property damage I commited when drunk. I was with my parents who did most of the talking but nonethless you'd expect significantly more emotion than I was displaying. In fact my mind was effectively a blank slate, I passed the whole interview staring at the wall... I couldn't have cared less... which may sound selfish, I know I should have... but honestly there was no emotion whatsoever.

    It's occured to me that I simply don't know myself at all... and this gets me depressed a lot. In fact I'm on medication for it. Sometimes maybe for a week or two I feel a good bit better and more alive again... but it always passes.

    I know it sounds like a lot of *******s but honestly I have very little sense of self...

    Has anyone else ever felt like this? It's so hard to explain... but is it quite common among depressed people or are my problems perhaps deeper than depression?
    first of all 'indexdatetime'appogises' for all quote!! ..Hi the reason to y get reply direct to this! :cool: ..to me it looks as if your making mountains out of mole hills tBSh!! ..Why feel the need to make yourself feel down all the time seems to make a bad situation worse IMhop!.. nothing gets deeper than depression or suiside!!
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    It sounds like youve been coasting along for too long, unchallenged and bored. There will come a time when you realise what you are interested in, and what really gets you inspired, perhaps this will happen at uni, or a job or something. Jump start your life, fresh start, work hard at everything you do , get a job, make an effort with all your friends, i think then your personality will develop more layers.
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    Thanks guys. There's some good advice here for what seems to be a nonsensical problem. Like I said there's times when I feel more alive and then times when my mind is basically a blank slate. My thought patterns are rediculous really, I'm chasing my tail all the time and not really acting. I think part of my problem is that I don't get out of myself often. I'm always looking inward and seeing a thousand issues. So perhaps I don't look around enough and see what's going for me or pay attention to what I'm doing. I find when I'm at my best the parliament in my head seems to be hushed.

    It's not true that I don't feel emotion. I do... but it seems so subdued compared to others. My only really strong emotions on a par with other people are anger and agitation, i.e all the unhealthy, negative ones. Other than that I can't seem to gather much enthusiasm or eagerness for life. Nothing get's me excited.

    Music wise... I'll listen to almost anything... which I see as really part of my problem, I've no 'favourite' anything. Movies are roughly the same, I'll watch almost anything bar those hallmark macaroni movies and not really be affected by it. I feel more like a filing cabinet than an interactive human being with my own outlook and views.

    Yeah I'm talking *******s again, it's hard to put my feelings into words I guess. I'm like the most non-reactive element in the periodic table. At least I'm aware of it I suppose. I hate the apathy that seems to dictate my life's course... which is a straightforward as a railway line it seems.

    Maybe I'll take your advice and keep a diary, it can't hurt... but sometimes I feel so irrational and non-sensical that it'll simply be the diary of a madman who just doesn't get it.

    Thanks again for the advice guys, I see a lot of wisdom in it.
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    A question from me.

    Do you often just sit there for hours on end doing nothing? Have you ever sat there doing nothing the whole day? And if you generally don't, what do you do to pass the time? Would you claim you enjoyed this on some level, or is it more a distraction from doing nothing?
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    (Original post by generalebriety)
    A question from me.

    Do you often just sit there for hours on end doing nothing? Have you ever sat there doing nothing the whole day? And if you generally don't, what do you do to pass the time? Would you claim you enjoyed this on some level, or is it more a distraction from doing nothing?
    Well I do next to nothing, my entire life is effectively spent on the computer. I guess it's not as sad as it sounds because I have friends and go out fairly often, nowadays though I haven't been in the mood for it. I used to go out when I was down and put on a brave face though, but I never really enjoyed myself as much as others seemed to.

    Most times now I pass the time watching movies on the net and playing games, that's been my bread and butter for years now. See, never had many friends in primary school because apparantly I was a raging bull, that's when the computer 'saved me' and even though I'm friends with nearly everyone in my year now I'm still a slave to it. I mildly enjoy it sometimes, like last week... other times it just seems like a silly habit I can't break out of. I think I've been addicted to it for farrr too long.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well I do next to nothing, my entire life is effectively spent on the computer. I guess it's not as sad as it sounds because I have friends and go out fairly often, nowadays though I haven't been in the mood for it. I used to go out when I was down and put on a brave face though, but I never really enjoyed myself as much as others seemed to.

    Most times now I pass the time watching movies on the net and playing games, that's been my bread and butter for years now. See, never had many friends in primary school because apparantly I was a raging bull, that's when the computer 'saved me' and even though I'm friends with nearly everyone in my year now I'm still a slave to it. I mildly enjoy it sometimes, like last week... other times it just seems like a silly habit I can't break out of. I think I've been addicted to it for farrr too long.
    Reckon you could give it up for a day or two? As an experiment.

    Sounds to me like you could be depressed, yes.
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    You sound uncannily like me; I take a 'Meh' attitude to just about everything. I don't find myself bored very often, even when I'm not doing anything, but on the flipside, there's not much that really interests or engages me. However the things I enjoy most normally require me to be constantly thinking, or being active: playing certain computer games, reading, whether fictional or educational, or articles on the net.

    Trying new things is always good, since the holidays have started, I've been going to the gym and swimming often, because of the sense of progression I get from it. From that I've figured out that things involving self-improvement are things I generally like. Though that doesn't make me a more interesting person to other people, it keeps me occupied and in somewhat of a better mood than if I wasn't doing anything.

    What is it that keeps you on the computer? Another thing to try is to make a note of what it is that you enjoy doing most and what they involve, and finding activities that involve the same things. For example, strategy, or design, etc.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks guys. There's some good advice here for what seems to be a nonsensical problem. Like I said there's times when I feel more alive and then times when my mind is basically a blank slate. My thought patterns are rediculous really, I'm chasing my tail all the time and not really acting. I think part of my problem is that I don't get out of myself often. I'm always looking inward and seeing a thousand issues. So perhaps I don't look around enough and see what's going for me or pay attention to what I'm doing. I find when I'm at my best the parliament in my head seems to be hushed.

    It's not true that I don't feel emotion. I do... but it seems so subdued compared to others. My only really strong emotions on a par with other people are anger and agitation, i.e all the unhealthy, negative ones. Other than that I can't seem to gather much enthusiasm or eagerness for life. Nothing get's me excited.

    Music wise... I'll listen to almost anything... which I see as really part of my problem, I've no 'favourite' anything. Movies are roughly the same, I'll watch almost anything bar those hallmark macaroni movies and not really be affected by it. I feel more like a filing cabinet than an interactive human being with my own outlook and views.

    Yeah I'm talking *******s again, it's hard to put my feelings into words I guess. I'm like the most non-reactive element in the periodic table. At least I'm aware of it I suppose. I hate the apathy that seems to dictate my life's course... which is a straightforward as a railway line it seems.

    Maybe I'll take your advice and keep a diary, it can't hurt... but sometimes I feel so irrational and non-sensical that it'll simply be the diary of a madman who just doesn't get it.

    Thanks again for the advice guys, I see a lot of wisdom in it.
    Does sound exactly like me most intrugin!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well I do next to nothing, my entire life is effectively spent on the computer. I guess it's not as sad as it sounds because I have friends and go out fairly often, nowadays though I haven't been in the mood for it. I used to go out when I was down and put on a brave face though, but I never really enjoyed myself as much as others seemed to.

    Most times now I pass the time watching movies on the net and playing games, that's been my bread and butter for years now. See, never had many friends in primary school because apparantly I was a raging bull, that's when the computer 'saved me' and even though I'm friends with nearly everyone in my year now I'm still a slave to it. I mildly enjoy it sometimes, like last week... other times it just seems like a silly habit I can't break out of. I think I've been addicted to it for farrr too long.
    does seem like things can only get better!!
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    Thanks again for the sound advice guys. It's good to know I'm not alone in my thus far fruitless teenage search for even a slight identity. I think the computer has been the hand around my neck for a very long time now, in fact looking back I can't think of many activities that didn't involve it. I'm going to try and go cold turkey from it for a few days at least and see what else there is to me.

    I dunno exactly what keeps me at it, routine I guess, most times I'm hopelessly bored whem I'm on it but can't thing of anything else to be getting upto. My close friends live in far away areas and schools out atm so it's tough to get into anything social but I think I'll redouble my efforts to break out of my unhealthy lifestyle when the schools fill again in September.
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    I'm surprised that so many teenagers seem to be experiencing this sort of mood, I know I've experienced it quite a fair amount of it lately. Usually this sort of mentality has a really horrible negative compound effect...

    Percieved lack of personality & Interests => Not really being able to connect well with others => Dislike for attitude.

    At this point it usually goes two ways... either people buck up and try and get out of the rut or they can do what I do...

    Feeling of hopelessiness and despair => Further isolation and withdrawel => Repeat while disliking the mentality. An endless cycle.

    I'm really curious of your weakened emotional state thing, would you say that your usually really calm?
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    (Original post by Sambola)
    I'm surprised that so many teenagers seem to be experiencing this sort of mood, I know I've experienced it quite a fair amount of it lately. Usually this sort of mentality has a really horrible negative compound effect...

    Percieved lack of personality & Interests => Not really being able to connect well with others => Dislike for attitude.

    At this point it usually goes two ways... either people buck up and try and get out of the rut or they can do what I do...

    Feeling of hopelessiness and despair => Further isolation and withdrawel => Repeat while disliking the mentality. An endless cycle.

    I'm really curious of your weakened emotional state thing, would you say that your usually really calm?
    I wouldn't say calm, far from it. My mind is a whirlwind of useless, misleading and counter productive thoughts. Emotionally I mostly feel despair and hopelessness. But to outsiders yeah I may seem calm, a bit sedated actually... my voice has less of a tone to it. Though at times I get agitated and argumentative but that's hardly a good thing.
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    I could be completely wrong here, but I'm just guessing based on what I've read. You can tell me if I'm just chatting rubbish.

    Personally I believe that the deeper problem that you were refering to at the beginning of your post is your self-esteem and confidence in ability. The whole emotions being further subdued may be a result from the apathy, hopelessness and despair that is a result from self-esteem issues.

    I would then say that the apathy combined with confidence leads to a lack of activeness & interest in things, which creates a more negative view of self. Your going to have to break the chain. Thing is I'm sure you know how to do it as well.

    What is it usually that you argue about?
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    Have a look at this from Tony Robbins (while ignoring any salespitch thing.)

    http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=i3x8poW_ugg

    I went to see him at one of those "mega conferences" a few months ago - as a bit of a sceptic. (It looked a little too religious for my liking.) But it was brilliant.

    Basically what he gets people to do is to challenge their existing ways of thinking and doing.

    Human beings are social creatures. The problem with the internet is that for many people it's become an end in itself - as I found a few years ago. Basically it stopped me from going out - a sort of addition to chatting online.

    I turned things around by challenging myself to try out new activities that I had not done before - activities that involved being with people. Only by challenging yourself to go outside your comfort zone - i.e. going ahead to do things that make you feel uncomfortable inside but that you know will be positive in the long run, will you be able to make those changes you desire.

    You've done the first step already: identifying the problem.

    The next step is having a vision of where, who and what you would like to become. What does this vision look like? What will "success" feel like and what will you be doing when you get there?

    Once you have done that, you will then need to identify what things you need to do to get to that vision.

    Finally, you will need the support of those around you when the going gets tough. Achievement feels even better when the barriers that you have overcome have been tougher.

    www.do-it.org.uk - volunteering is one sure way of finding something challenging that involves people.

    All the best

    PR
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    I actually feel something similar. I've often had the impression that unless your interests are either outlandish (like skydiving, abseiling down cliff edges, snowboarding down Ben Nevis etc.), highly accomplished (i.e. playing football for the University or semi-professionally) or expensive (i.e. vintage cars, skiing in the Swiss Alps, backpacking around the Andes etc.), no-one takes interest and one comes off as dull and uninteresting. One of the things I've noticed living in London is that the ANZAC surfy backpacker types do very well with the ladies.
 
 
 
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