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A 16 year old likes me and i feel weird about it watch

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    I'm keeping this anon cos i don't wanna be judged. A 16 year old girl who is a friend of my friend's sister likes me and i'm 24. I feel flattered but at the same time like a perverted creep. She saw me at my mate's party and i've been chatting to her through snapchat.
    She wants to be more than friends but i'm not sure how i feel about it and i don't think i wanna progress past friendship (certainly not at least she's 18).

    There's no way that I would go out and try and sleep with a 16 year old simply because i'd feel dirty and predatory. However if i found a naked 16 year old in my bed i wouldn't exactly say no. I'm not sure if i should have sex with her simply cos of the age difference and the fact that i wanna get into a serious relationship/marriage in the next 5-7 years.

    I'm also afraid of the potential consequences as i don't wanna ruin my life over this. The social judgement too might be bad but my friend is cool with it. I'm happy to be friends with her at the moment but i'm not sure how to deal with the crush that she has on me though i'll admit it's flattering.

    I fear that i'll end up on the sex offenders register if things go further or that she'll hate me if i do sleep with her cos there's no way i can have a relationship with someone that young as we have different goals and the life experience difference is just vast.

    She seems comfortable enough to want a FWB relationship but i'm not sure about the whole thing TBH. What can i do? Is it legal and morally right what i'm doing? I sound like a coward right now.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm keeping this anon cos i don't wanna be judged. A 16 year old girl who is a friend of my friend's sister likes me and i'm 24. I feel flattered but at the same time like a perverted creep. She saw me at my mate's party and i've been chatting to her through snapchat.
    She wants to be more than friends but i'm not sure how i feel about it and i don't think i wanna progress past friendship (certainly not at least she's 18).

    There's no way that I would go out and try and sleep with a 16 year old simply because i'd feel dirty and predatory. However if i found a naked 16 year old in my bed i wouldn't exactly say no. I'm not sure if i should have sex with her simply cos of the age difference and the fact that i wanna get into a serious relationship/marriage in the next 5-7 years.

    I'm also afraid of the potential consequences as i don't wanna ruin my life over this. The social judgement too might be bad but my friend is cool with it. I'm happy to be friends with her at the moment but i'm not sure how to deal with the crush that she has on me though i'll admit it's flattering.

    I fear that i'll end up on the sex offenders register if things go further or that she'll hate me if i do sleep with her cos there's no way i can have a relationship with someone that young as we have different goals and the life experience difference is just vast.

    She seems comfortable enough to want a FWB relationship but i'm not sure about the whole thing TBH. What can i do? Is it legal and morally right what i'm doing? I sound like a coward right now.
    It sounds like you're really uncomfortable with it, in which case I'd just say stay as friends. There's no point in compromising your values and morals for sex. She'll get over her little crush. Just make it clear that you only want to be friends. It really is quite the age difference
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    Wait 2 years, see if things are still the same, then go for it.
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    Just bang her jeez.
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    the age of consent is 16 though
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    Make it clear that due to her age that you aren't currently interested in pursuing anything more than a friendship because you feel weird. There will be a lot of negative reactions, but there'll also be a lot of people who are either not bothered or have been in a similar situation. Personally I would consider it weird because whilst she is legal, she is still a young girl but there'll be people that think differently.

    It is far better to back out of something and regret it than to pursue something that you feel uncomfortable about in the hopes that once you go through with it, it'll be fine. There can be negative consequences for both people in this situation and they do definitely need to be considered. She may say she is ready for a FWB thing/sexual relations but that doesn't necessarily mean that she is. I think it's fair to take that into consideration.

    If you feel very uncomfortable about it then I would give it a miss. It's not something like a presentation where you should work to be less bothered by it. There will be plenty of times where you can have sex with someone, so if you are really concerned or bothered by it, then don't do it. You're not going to miss out that much.

    If you do decide to go for it, then as unsexy as it sounds, talk to her about it. Make sure that she's ready and that you're ready. It might sound dramatic but it's best to be on the same page, and it prevents more problems arising further along the line. Such as if she decides she wants to date you and feels as though you've lead her on because you didn't properly explain to her you were just after sex.
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    (Original post by chelseadagg3r)
    It sounds like you're really uncomfortable with it, in which case I'd just say stay as friends. There's no point in compromising your values and morals for sex. She'll get over her little crush. Just make it clear that you only want to be friends. It really is quite the age difference


    I am a little.



    (Original post by Yaboi)
    Just bang her jeez.


    Not sure if serious lol



    (Original post by Reue)
    Wait 2 years, see if things are still the same, then go for it.
    That’s a long time and we both would have probably found someone by then. Besides I’ll be looking to settle down not sleep with someone who is barely an adult.



    (Original post by sleepysnooze)
    the age of consent is 16 though


    That may be true but I still feel unsure about it. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Make it clear that due to her age that you aren't currently interested in pursuing anything more than a friendship because you feel weird. There will be a lot of negative reactions, but there'll also be a lot of people who are either not bothered or have been in a similar situation. Personally I would consider it weird because whilst she is legal, she is still a young girl but there'll be people that think differently.



    It is far better to back out of something and regret it than to pursue something that you feel uncomfortable about in the hopes that once you go through with it, it'll be fine. There can be negative consequences for both people in this situation and they do definitely need to be considered. She may say she is ready for a FWB thing/sexual relations but that doesn't necessarily mean that she is. I think it's fair to take that into consideration.



    If you feel very uncomfortable about it then I would give it a miss. It's not something like a presentation where you should work to be less bothered by it. There will be plenty of times where you can have sex with someone, so if you are really concerned or bothered by it, then don't do it. You're not going to miss out that much.



    If you do decide to go for it, then as unsexy as it sounds, talk to her about it. Make sure that she's ready and that you're ready. It might sound dramatic but it's best to be on the same page, and it prevents more problems arising further along the line. Such as if she decides she wants to date you and feels as though you've lead her on because you didn't properly explain to her you were just after sex.
    What are the negative reactions and consequences you are talking about? And yeah I feel weird about it. I don’t wanna be judged by my group of friends as a loser that can only get with underage girls.
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    it's a teenage crush which is normal on her part but very weird if you reciprocate. just be friendly but keep your distance and do not encourage the crush in any way.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am a little.







    Not sure if serious lol





    That’s a long time and we both would have probably found someone by then. Besides I’ll be looking to settle down not sleep with someone who is barely an adult.







    That may be true but I still feel unsure about it. What would you do if you were in my shoes?



    What are the negative reactions and consequences you are talking about? And yeah I feel weird about it. I don’t wanna be judged by my group of friends as a loser that can only get with underage girls.
    Honestly, I just wouldn't go for it. You're aware that the age difference is large, and that she is very young, and not only does it make you uncomfortable you also recognise that you're at very different stages and seem to want different things. My ex was 24 when I was 17, and it was very difficult in the fact we were at very different points in our lives. He saw people in school doing their GCSEs as kids, yet that was me like a year earlier and that felt really really weird to me. There was no way that was ever going to work out. Sure, it does sometimes, but if you're uncomfortable what's the point in forcing it?
 
 
 
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