I am studying English at Birmingham and have been here for around 1 and a half months now but I still feel horrible. Its the first time that I have been away from home (ever) and I am really struggling with homesickness (even though I only live an hour away from uni). I also really struggling adapting the university way of life with so little contact hours and the lack of spoon feeding. I am really bad at adapting to change too.
Its really weird as sometimes I will be fine and others I just break down crying and just want the world to end. I have tried talking to the well-being people at the university but you have to pre-book appointments and up to this point they just think I am strange as whenever I turn up to my appointments I am not sad. My parents are normally really supportive but they have told me when I am upset they will not talk to me (normally they hang up) and my flat where really supportive but I think its got to the point where they are slowly giving up on me too as they have comforted me on the same problem over and over.
I cannot seem to break this cycle. I cannot leave as I have no prospects elsewhere but at the moment I haven't had one day where I haven't cried at some point and I cannot help but think that all this pain is not worth it.
Please help and advise me, I have nobody else to turn to
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- Thread Starter
- 03-11-2016 10:12
- 03-11-2016 10:40
You might find it helpful to set structure and routine to your week. It can be hard with only a handful of lectures/seminars but you can set your own routine, planning set times for work in the library. Perhaps get involved with volunteering in something you enjoy, and look to get a part time job. Filling your week constructively will help you feel more settled in your new life as well as helping you meet new people, and you will have less "idle" time to think about home.
You have nice flatmates which is great. Accept that you are going to miss home - everyone misses family, but it doesn't mean you can't be happy and settled somewhere else.
All the best
- 03-11-2016 10:42
Hey, I'm really sorry about the terrible experience you're having. You said that homesickness is one of the main reasons why you're feeling this way, have you tried skyping your family/friends or visiting them? Also to take your mind off of the feeling I think you need to ensure that you keep yourself busy, perhaps join a few societies where you can meet people who have similar interests to you. With your university work see if you can join the English society and speak to the other members to see how they overcame the problem of little contact hours. I feel like speaking to your personal tutor is not a bad idea either, they can advise you on ways to cope with the change. It's understandable that you're feeling like this especially because it's such a big change for you. I'm very close to someone who felt the exact same way you did in first year, she would always call me crying because she was homesick and because she couldn't deal with her course. She missed out on some great opportunities too because she was feeling so miserable. She spoke to her doctor and they arranged some counselling for her, she also did many activities which were waaaaayyy out of her comfort zone I think they both helped vastly. She hasn't been miserable since her first year and has become a social butterfly But she had alot of support from her family too. Some families find it very difficult to understand mental health, I think you should try explaining the issues once again, they're your family they should help you through it.
Good Luck! I really hope things improve for you!