I found his list of conquests...

Hi... Whilst looking for some post-it notes earlier round my b/f's, I came across a list of womens names with my name at the bottom! We have only been seeing each other 6 weeks but I cant help feeling that I am just another number on his list... He is at work at the mo so cant talk to him about it.. Why do men do this?? !
What should I say to him, if anything? I feel really *****y, I thought he was different to other guys!

p.s I am number 32 (he told me he had slept with less than 20)

Reply 1

prettygreeneyes99

9

just leave it lying around and then pick it up and say 'oo whats this then?' ... its not the end of the world but it would be pretty funny to see him try and explain himself!

Reply 2

Ang|ophi|e

12

When he comes back from work confront him about it. Tell him how you feel. He obviously lied to you.

Reply 3

dh00001

16

he keeps a list? :s-smilie:

get him to explain if you are just another knotch

Reply 4

podiatrist

OP

1

I text him earlier explaining that i came across it blah blah and he tried to ring me 2 hours later... i didnt answer... dont know what to say to him. Keeps trying to ring me now...i feel like crying tho lol.
He has told me that since he has been with me its the happiest he has been in years, we have joked about the future and he even asked me to move in at xmas! So, i know he likes me quite a bit, well i hope so ... ggrrr..men!

Reply 5

Helenia

20

You have to answer the phone to him. Avoiding him isn't going to solve it. I can understand it's a pretty horrible thing to discover, and he needs to do some damn good explaining. But if you keep running away he'll give up. And you don't want that.

Reply 6

herbal bug

12

Answer his calls or call him yourself. it's better to hear what he has to say rather then staying in the dark.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Hee hee. I don't think you should admit it if you've been snooping in his stuff.
I have made such lists of names and dates and things before. Just because I think they're important events in my life and I want to remember them.

Reply 8

Ang|ophi|e

12

to herbal bug and Helenia

It's obvious you like him and vise versa. Give him the chance to explain. :smile:

Reply 9

Zoecb

11

What the hell is wrong with having a list? Everyone has one in their head. If you're lucky enough to have a long list it would matter to you to remember each person well, so write them down.

Reply 10

History_is...

6

We all come with history, and while keeping a list is perhaps dubious morally, you shouldn't let this come between you if things are otherwise going well. Talk to him and take it from there. Also, on a slight tangent, if he has been making this list in the past, surely it would be even more offensive if your name wasn't on the bottom?!

Reply 11

Sticky

podiatrist

p.s I am number 32 (he told me he had slept with less than 20)

So it can't be the list of girls he's slept with...

Reply 12

Zoecb

11

History_is...

and while keeping a list is perhaps dubious morally,

WHY? How?

Reply 13

white_haired_wizard

16

and you're at the bottom of the list (sorry, couldn't resist! :p:

).

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, people have histories, people keep diaries and write intimate stuff in them. Everyone has a right to have something private. Just unfortunate for the two of you that you've stumbled across this bit of paper. Alternatively, your fella could be a bit of a sleaze....keeping the list to use as bragging etc....meh **** knows.

Reply 14

white_haired_wizard

16

Zoecb

WHY? How?

in the "i've nailed her, nailed her, banged her in 2006, did her in Jan of 2007" sense. It could creep someone out, this record keeping.

it COULD be perceived as some kind of statistics, akin to someone who goes on a chavvy and booze-fuelled 18-30s (let's face it, many of these things are just that) with the intention of sleeping with x amount of women over the duration of the holiday. He may be a sleaze with a "every hole is a goal' mentality....

this is all speculation of course.

Reply 15

History_is...

6

Zoecb

WHY? How?

Well first of all if you have slept with so many people you have to write them down to remember them, many would consider that morally loose, and secondly, the idea of being "just one more name on his list" is clearly making the OP feel less special to the guy than she did before. I'm not saying listing exes is wrong, just that it raises moral questions, hence "morally dubious".

Reply 16

white_haired_wizard

16

History_is...

Well first of all if you have slept with so many people you have to write them down to remember them, many would consider that morally loose, and secondly, the idea of being "just one more name on his list" is clearly making the OP feel less special to the guy than she did before. I'm not saying listing exes is wrong, just that it raises moral questions, hence "morally dubious".

what is extremely silly is leaving something like this, which can be discovered. Very silly boy. If one has a gf and one indulges in record keeping like this, then you'd surely make damn sure this little bit of paper wasn't stumbled upon by a current lover! And make sure it rarely sees the light of day :biggrin:

Silly sod.

Reply 17

sabby ohh

7

at least you're the last on the list,think on the bright side!!!!

i see nothing wrong with having a list. one time me and my best friend were hanging out and bored so we both made lists. for all you know it could just be a list of girls he's gone on a date with, or kissed, you dont know for sure its a list of girls he's slept with.
i understand that you might be feeling like just another 'name on a list' but when you get with somebody new you have to accept that they probably -will- have a sexual history, and you can't be mad at them for things they did before they met you..
talk to him about it :smile:

Reply 18

Zoecb

11

white_haired_wizard

in the "i've nailed her, nailed her, banged her in 2006, did her in Jan of 2007" sense. It could creep someone out, this record keeping.

Really? Don't ever look in my diary, it's waaaaaay more detailed than that...

History_is...

Well first of all if you have slept with so many people you have to write them down to remember them, many would consider that morally loose,

Only repressed people, no-one I'd want to be with. Besides, you might not remember what order they came in and that might be important to you.

and secondly, the idea of being "just one more name on his list" is clearly making the OP feel less special to the guy than she did before.

That's such rubbish. It doesn't matter who you are (unless you're a celibate nun or something I suppose), we are all names on each other's lists.

Reply 19

ApeXaviour

7

podiatrist

I text him earlier explaining that i came across it blah blah and he tried to ring me 2 hours later... i didnt answer...

??? Em.. you text him and then you don't answer!? If someone did that to me I'd instantly think they were playing head games or looking for attention. You probably are doing these, whether you admit to them or not.

I found his list of conquests...

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