Driving anxiety..

Now, my history with driving a car has been a very traumatic experience from 16 years of age when I started the car for my brother and hitting the nearby wall!

I passed in 2009 and at that time, I didn't have funds to buy a car. In 2012, I did and I bought a car which proved a costly experience as I had embarrassing moments (hitting my car on the driveway wall with some members of my family watching)

So yes, not great experiences and added to that I know absolutely nothing on cars. Buying them, their mechanics, what needs to be done annually (I want to know so any links would be great) - it just hasn't been for me compared to my contemporaries who speak about cars regularly and I'm like 'Yup, this part of the conversation is not for me then!'

I've used public transport or walked when I can and it's not that embarrassing compared to what people, like my friends, might view it as. I see it as a necessity to get to work and back.

However, I got married and it's an anxiety point as I am hesitant to go out but after a recent event, I'm ready to make small steps so I need to find an instructor who can help - with my anxiety issues in mind. I work in a place bit further from home so I'd be looking to learn there as I'm bit anxious seeing people I know (my school contemporaries who make an issue of me using public transport) drop a quizzical look on me behind the wheel considering my age

I think I drive well in general but it's when undertaking manuveres or when I'm in a busy car park and doing a parking turn that would get my anxiety up - again, probably down to me feeling 'watched' when I'm struggling with something.

It's difficult to find an instructor who can be sympathetic to my weaknesses (my old instructor doesn't do that role anymore) but then to get help in buying a car.

Reply 1

Clockrice

Original post by Anonymous

My advice from personal experience would be to find an instructor which usually teaches people with physical and mental disabilities. As they are used to taking things slow and teaching people carefully how to do maneuvers. It is the parking bay, three point turn, parallel park and left side reverse round a corner you are struggling with? All the parking and maneuvers are easy once you know your point of turn and you know your mirror counts. Did you learn those things? The only problem I have is my gear box struggles to change from first to second and the engine can over rev. My driving instructor was very good, she made my lessons 5 times hard than the actual driving tests. So I found the test easy, even though I failed the first test for a stupid reason, being in the wrong lane when turning right out of a one way street. But things are easy. I don't drive much myself because I don't like people.

If you want to learn more about your car then just read your manufactures guide. It has all the information you need to understand your car. Also didn't you did your theory test to learn about the tax, insurance and MOT? Those are the three things you need to drive legally, along with a license. So it isn't hard to understand. :smile:

Where do you live, as if you live near me I could put you in touch with my old instructor.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 2

username2387497

Hey,

Sorry to hear you're going through this. I Hope it improves soon for you :smile:

My advice would be to search around for an instructor that teaches people with mental illnesses. That way you'll feel calmed and they'll know how to deal with what you're going through :smile:

They'll be calmer and will make sure to make you feel relaxed. Almost like having therapy really but you're learning to drive instead.
If you can find one then id speak to some of the normal ones and see if they're willing to help out. You could even speak to your GP maybe about it?

As for car maintenance:

Check the Oil, Brake Fluid, Coolant and Water regularly (once per week with the car on a level surface whilst cool).
Make sure to check your tyre pressures weekly too as it can indicate whether you have a puncture or not. Also check the tyres for cracks in the sidewalls and for any irregularities on it.

Also feel if the car veers to one side under breaking or whilst travelling normally.
The first one would indicate brakes which are out of balance and the second would indicate either a puncture or suspension issue.

Also keep an eye out for any noises which have recently appeared. These may be the warning signs to potential issues.

And of course, Insurance, Tax and an MOT are all needed to allow you to drive on the road :smile:

All will need to be in date and renewed yearly :smile:

Hope this helps :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

I was going to post a new thread but a brief search made me find my old thread from a year ago.

Up untl a month ago, I hadn't driven. Yet circumstances changed and I took hold of an older car and started to drive, having had a refresher lesson and a drive with my brother.

All of my concerns about my driving (abysmal spatial awareness and clutch control) are still there, and every time I took the car took time to muster up the confidence to do so and endless viewings of Google Maps to provide reassurance of where I was going. I made some small strides.

However, I've driven twice this week and ended up having two seperate incidents of burning my clutch and panicking beyond belief (holding tup traffic twice), the latter experience happening a few moments ago and my confidence is rocked. I don't want to drive today and maybe avoid as long as I can.

For everyone else, it's such a frickng easy thing to do ("like riding a bike", they say) yet for me I'm it's a task that I don't see myself being perfect (I'm a perfectionist) but just being acceptable. And I feel there's no-one within family and friends to ask for help as they'd just smirk at a 32-year-old struggling with this and even more so in South Asian communities, that acute sense of feeling inadequate is worse.

Driving anxiety..

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