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    (Original post by iman305)
    My mum says that if I get an interview, she will come with me to the UK (i am an international applicant) which im ok with because we will probably stay in london for a week after, just for fun.

    BUT she is really keen to come to oxford with me, and stay in the university (apparently you can get a room in some colleges like bnb thing) and i really dont want her to do that, because i feel like ill look like an idiot if my mum comes to the university too

    She is really excited and if i say anything she becomes super upset and angry at me and I dont know what to do really
    Definitely not. The system is not geared up to this. It will be a distraction for you, it will be a distraction for the academics. It may make them think you are not ready for the independence that study in Oxford entails.

    There is no reason why your mother does not comes to Oxford for a few days after the interview. Stay in a hotel, see the sights. You will probably not have chance during the interview period.
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    (Original post by nulli tertius)
    Definitely not. The system is not geared up to this. It will be a distraction for you, it will be a distraction for the academics. It may make them think you are not ready for the independence that study in Oxford entails.

    There is no reason why your mother does not comes to Oxford for a few days after the interview. Stay in a hotel, see the sights. You will probably not have chance during the interview period.
    That's exactly what I thought, and if she does come I won't spend any time with her during interview period at all, because I'll be in the college and all that, so it'll be fine if she is in the city, but just not staying with me maybe? Because she really want to come and visit I think because she doesn't travel often and I don't want to hurt her feelings


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    (Original post by iman305)
    That's exactly what I thought, and if she does come I won't spend any time with her during interview period at all, because I'll be in the college and all that, so it'll be fine if she is in the city, but just not staying with me maybe? Because she really want to come and visit I think because she doesn't travel often and I don't want to hurt her feelings


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    Do you have an uncle or aunt you can speak with (I assume Dad and Mum are not an item any more) who can speak with your mother. Really these 2/3 days should be entirely about you and not her.
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    Loolks like she wont listen to you. maybe the university produce some guildelines or you could ask them to get such an indication which she would take notice of. I have a feeling your mum wont be taking much notice of you otherwise.
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    (Original post by iman305)
    My mum says that if I get an interview, she will come with me to the UK (i am an international applicant) which im ok with because we will probably stay in london for a week after, just for fun.

    BUT she is really keen to come to oxford with me, and stay in the university (apparently you can get a room in some colleges like bnb thing) and i really dont want her to do that, because i feel like ill look like an idiot if my mum comes to the university too

    She is really excited and if i say anything she becomes super upset and angry at me and I dont know what to do really
    That's odd if a parent came with you in the university. I get she would want to stay one London and look around since she hasn't been there but it wouldn't be ideal as other students won't do it and this doesn't really make you look independent.
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    A Senior Tutor of a Cambridge college once told me during a supervision that the one thing they loathed more than anything else was the helicopter parents who now routinely attend college with their children on interview day. Some even tried to come into the interview with their child, whilst others would attempt to collar everyone to 'put the case' about their inevitably extraordinarily gifted child. In fact, the college in question had gone so far as to ban parents from interview day - they were catered for elsewhere.

    It's of course fine for your parent to come over with you, particularly as an international student. But for the interview, it should ideally be you and you alone.
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    (Original post by Transitory)
    That's odd if a parent came with you in the university. I get she would want to stay one London and look around since she hasn't been there but it wouldn't be ideal as other students won't do it and this doesn't really make you look independent.
    I've not explained fully I think, she is just coming to the city with me which I would
    Enjoy, because we could hang out after and go home together, not actually in the uni, sorry for not explaining, that should be ok right? Especially if she doesn't come with me
    To the college?


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    (Original post by nulli tertius)
    Do you have an uncle or aunt you can speak with (I assume Dad and Mum are not an item any more) who can speak with your mother. Really these 2/3 days should be entirely about you and not her.
    What? My parents are still together lol not sure how that factors in, I was just asking as my friends here aren going to fly to the U.K. On their own, by my mum will join me, not at the college and I won't see her during interview period, that's not too bad? I think some of my friends have just been making me scared


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    (Original post by Reality Check)
    A Senior Tutor of a Cambridge college once told me during a supervision that the one thing they loathed more than anything else was the helicopter parents who now routinely attend college with their children on interview day. Some even tried to come into the interview with their child, whilst others would attempt to collar everyone to 'put the case' about their inevitably extraordinarily gifted child. In fact, the college in question had gone so far as to ban parents from interview day - they were catered for elsewhere.

    It's of course fine for your parent to come over with you, particularly as an international student. But for the interview, it should ideally be you and you alone.
    I feel
    Like I have made my mum out to be crazy she is not (or not always lol) she is just coming to Oxford with me if I do get an interview, I will be at the college alone, and won't meet up during the period I'm there for interviews, so by the end bit of your reply I assume you think that's ok? Because she's just there because I'm an international student and will probs be shopping or something while I'm at the college,,, my friends have just made me really panicky because they all make faces when I say my mum is coming to the city with me


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    Let her come if it means so much for her, you can stay at the college and her at the hotel, that shouldn't be a distraction for you and at the same time she can enjoy the area.

    After your interview is done you can stay with her at the hotel and sightsee

    Seems like a good plan
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    (Original post by NatoHeadshot)
    Let her come if it means so much for her, you can stay at the college and her at the hotel, that shouldn't be a distraction for you and at the same time she can enjoy the area.

    After your interview is done you can stay with her at the hotel and sightsee

    Seems like a good plan
    Yeah I think this is what she was planning! I think now after reading all the comments about crazy parents trying to literally come into the interview I feel so much more relaxed lol I may just be stressing over nothing

    So her coming to the city with me isn't a faux pas I guess!


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    (Original post by iman305)
    I feel
    Like I have made my mum out to be crazy she is not (or not always lol) she is just coming to Oxford with me if I do get an interview, I will be at the college alone, and won't meet up during the period I'm there for interviews, so by the end bit of your reply I assume you think that's ok? Because she's just there because I'm an international student and will probs be shopping or something while I'm at the college,,, my friends have just made me really panicky because they all make faces when I say my mum is coming to the city with me


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    I think it's entirely reasonable for your mum to want to come to Oxford with you and for you to allow her to do so. There's a huge difference between that and her trying to elbow her way into the interview room, which she clearly won't be trying to so. So let her enjoy her time in Oxford - she might even buy you something lovely whilst you're being interview, and I should have thought at least that you'd go out for a nice lunch after. So it'll be nice for you both.
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    I think it's okay for her to come along. My mum came with me when I had an interview at Nottingham. As long as she's not there in the waiting room with you then it's perfectly fine for her to be with you.
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    The MOST important thing to think about here is how much of a distraction will it be having your Mum in Oxford while you are being interviewed. Does she fuss, make you nervous etc? Then make her stay away.

    This interview of totally about you, not her being a tourist or 'being involved'. Next year she will have to let go, she cannot come to Uni with you. So now is the time this starts. Make her stay in London that day. You go to Oxford on your own, you get immersed in the interview, the college etc, without having to think about her or anything else. Then when its all over she can come to Oxford and you can show her around.
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    (Original post by returnmigrant)
    The MOST important thing to think about here is how much of a distraction will it be having your Mum in Oxford while you are being interviewed. Does she fuss, make you nervous etc? Then make her stay away.

    This interview of totally about you, not her being a tourist or 'being involved'. Next year she will have to let go, she cannot come to Uni with you. So now is the time this starts. Make her stay in London that day. You go to Oxford on your own, you get immersed in the interview, the college etc, without having to think about her or anything else. Then when its all over she can come to Oxford and you can show her around.
    In all honestly I think she would leave me be for the 2 or 3 days of interviews, and it would in no way distract me, So I guess her coming and staying in a hotel or something is ok? Maybe I was just being a bit *****y earlier and not thinking it through


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    (Original post by iman305)
    I've not explained fully I think, she is just coming to the city with me which I would
    Enjoy, because we could hang out after and go home together, not actually in the uni, sorry for not explaining, that should be ok right? Especially if she doesn't come with me
    To the college?


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    That's perfectly fine then.
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    (Original post by Reality Check)
    I think it's entirely reasonable for your mum to want to come to Oxford with you and for you to allow her to do so. There's a huge difference between that and her trying to elbow her way into the interview room, which she clearly won't be trying to so. So let her enjoy her time in Oxford - she might even buy you something lovely whilst you're being interview, and I should have thought at least that you'd go out for a nice lunch after. So it'll be nice for you both.
    You are so right, I was being whiny and a bit mean earlier, considering she is just going to be doing her own thing while there, thanks for putting it in perspective for me, I appreciate it


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    (Original post by Transitory)
    That's perfectly fine then.
    Awesome, thanks for the advice!


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    (Original post by HighwayUnicorn)
    I think it's okay for her to come along. My mum came with me when I had an interview at Nottingham. As long as she's not there in the waiting room with you then it's perfectly fine for her to be with you.
    Yeah I've kind of put it all in perspective, she's not sitting in the room with me aha, so I agree with you, thanks


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