I'm a first year at university and I am loving it. University life suits me and while it's hectic and busy I love my course and I'm on top of my work most days. my flatmates and I have bonded well and I've made so many friends and I just feel so free after living with strict parents for so many years.
I still go home at weekends for my job and to support my mum. I'm the first in my family to go to university and I think she is struggling with me and my dad being gone. The problem is that this weekly trek is taking a toll on me. I love my job but I'm always moody at home and I dread going back on the weekends. I feel like I'm missing out on experiences back in Glasgow and the anxiety over going home builds throughout the week to the point where I am literally a wreck before I have to go back. I now consider university my home and I hate the feeling of being in the small town where I grew up.
I think the issue may be that I came out of the closet at university and I'm accepted here. I could never come out back home and I can't stand my family's attitude. A close relative was disowned for being gay when I was young and I'm terrified the same happens to me.
I'm currently looking for jobs here but I'm struggling to find anything and I can't avoid going home forever. How do I stop being so anxious over going back and is there a chance this feeling will fade?
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Anxiety over going home from university watch
- Thread Starter
- 04-11-2016 17:00
- 04-11-2016 17:12
- 05-11-2016 11:16
How is your mum struggling? What support does she need? Can your other siblings help? How is she prioritising? Can you give her emotional support on the phone?
It's not ideal going home for weekend work. How much is the cost of travelling compared to your weekend wages? Keep looking for work at college.
You have emotional acceptance at college and breaking that acceptance can seem like you aren't really going "home". One way to reduce this anxiety is to come out at home, but until you are ready, this "home anxiety" will pre-occupy your college life.
Reducing the frequency of your travelling will also reduce your anxiety, but it means being decisive about leaving your job.
You are trying to be too accommodating in too many directions. It's creating internal conflict e.g. guilt. Essentially decide where your "home" is during your college life.
- 06-11-2016 09:51
My flatmate in first year did the same as you and eventually quit her job because she didn't think it was worth it anymore.
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