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How to speed things up?

Don't really know how to explain this, but I've been going out with this guy for about six weeks now and it's been good but whenever we kiss, he always complains that I kiss for too long, I think he thinks im too passionate or something whereas he's always really reserved and controlled.
I know he can be pretty shy but he's a 19 year-old guy and he's so gentlemanly about everything: short kisses, only ever kisses me on the lips and will only put his hands on my back!
Probably seems like im complaining about nothing, but it's just before him i wasn't with very many nice guys, they treated me like crap and were only in it for sex which I didn't want, but with this guy it just feels things are going too slow for me, how do I speed things up just a bit?

Reply 1

prettygreeneyes99

9

aww bless him, just try and do things his way for a couple of weeks, and if he's still shy after that just mention it to him :smile:

Reply 2

ryan2288

Take your clothes off. Put your hand down his pants. Tell him you have physical needs too.

Reply 3

ObsidianExon

wear slutty clothes

Reply 4

username21537

2

Put his hand down yoru pants, if thats what youre implying.

But seriously im meaning guide him into doing things a little more naughty and daring

Reply 5

spartakist

14

No sane guy will complain if a girl grabs their cock.

Reply 6

DodgyTrousers

7

Are you his first? He may not know how fast to escalate.

I'd say push it a little yourself, there's nothing wrong with a girl being sexually aggressive. Since he's still young, he might not have the experience to figure out why you seem to "kiss him for too long".

You could always mention how horny/hot/wet (choose the one that won't freak him out :tongue:

) you are.

Reply 7

JC.

19

Move his hand with yours to where you want it, look at him in the eye, say "here" and give him a lil' kiss. :smile:

Reply 8

invisible_gal

OP

I'm quite a shy person myself, at least in how I go about things but when I really like someone, it's emotional and physical for me. I like this guy a lot, but I guess I need to feel like he really likes me back or something, by doing physical stuff. I'm not talking sex, i just need a little more than a really gentlemanly kiss.
And don't want to scare him or anything, but as mentioned above, a girl has needs! He's just so reserved about everything that I don't know what he wants but he does like me.

Reply 9

username21537

2

invisible_gal

I'm quite a shy person myself, at least in how I go about things but when I really like someone, it's emotional and physical for me. I like this guy a lot, but I guess I need to feel like he really likes me back or something, by doing physical stuff. I'm not talking sex, i just need a little more than a really gentlemanly kiss.
And don't want to scare him or anything, but as mentioned above, a girl has needs! He's just so reserved about everything that I don't know what he wants but he does like me.

Take him and guide him around your body. If you lead him then he won't feel like he is being too pushy

(I know this works because it took my girlfriend to tell me that I could be more forward sexually, because i was reserved, not wanting to appear to be taking advantage)

Reply 10

invisible_gal

OP

mr_jr

Take him and guide him around your body. If you lead him then he won't feel like he is being too pushy

(I know this works because it took my girlfriend to tell me that I could be more forward sexually, because i was reserved, not wanting to appear to be taking advantage)

So just sort of show him what I want? I'm just so nervous about doing that but I think if I don't move things further, he's too shy to do anything.
So what exactly did your girlfriend tell you then? Did you just not want to seem to be taking advantage of her, trying to be a nice guy?

Reply 11

Sticky

ryan2288

Put your hand down his pants.

and I bet you'll feel nuts.

Reply 12

Rutter knows best!

12

invisible_gal

but it's just before him i wasn't with very many nice guys, they treated me like crap and were only in it for sex which I didn't want, but with this guy it just feels things are going too slow for me, how do I speed things up just a bit?

the hunted has become the hunter so it seems.

i would help but this is all going a bit fast for my liking.

Reply 13

username21537

2

invisible_gal

So just sort of show him what I want? I'm just so nervous about doing that but I think if I don't move things further, he's too shy to do anything.
So what exactly did your girlfriend tell you then? Did you just not want to seem to be taking advantage of her, trying to be a nice guy?

Yes indeed. By showing what you want, youre sayign "It's OK to be forward with me".

I genuinely am a nice guy, and I always thought that even if I'm feeling horny or whatever, it oughtnt be me to initate anythign ebcause I dont expect anything physical..if that makes sense.

Reply 14

crafty bison

14

Undo his trousers. Is he hard? If not, you've got problems.

Reply 15

invisible_gal

OP

crafty bison

Undo his trousers. Is he hard? If not, you've got problems.

No, haven't got problems that way!
It's just that I don't want to be pushing him either and I'm just really unsure of how to show I'm fine with going a bit faster. I'm used to guys taking the lead, haven't exactly been with a lot of nice guys recently, all those guys wanted was sex.
I guess I don't know how to behave in a normal relationship or even really what a typical 19-year-old guy wants. Any advice people? Thanks for everything so far!

Reply 16

DodgyTrousers

7

Really, the problem is that he isn't going to move forward unless you make it pretty obvious. Make it obvious, help the man out :smile:

I find it unlikely that he is stalling for any reason other than regard for your feelings, especially if you've told him how you have been used for sex before.

Alternatively, perhaps you could both get pretty totalled? It's almost bound to happen that way :biggrin:

Reply 17

strawberrykisses123

This was exactly what my boyfriend was like when we started going out, we'd been dating for 3 and a half months before he agreed to have sex, and when I say "agreed" to have sex i actually meant I persuaded him until he said "Ok why not". Literally, he said "why not". i was basically his first and he wanted to wait until he was sure.
before him I also hadn't exactly been with "nice" guys and all they wanted was sex so I was really bewildered with the way he was behaving, but I am really glad we waited and I also wish I hadn't pushed him because it's not a good memory having him say "Why not" before our first time together!
So if you really like him and all that, then I'd say push a little bit - but not too hard because trust me, it will be special when it happens! x

How to speed things up?

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