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Struggling to cope after years of being bullied. watch

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    I was bullied for the last 2 years at secondary school by a girl when I was 14-16 years old. The events and further experiences of being bullied after leaving secondary school triggered the occurrence depression, anxiety and low self-esteem.I am sorry for the for the long post.

    In regards to secondary school, whenever I put my hand up to answer a question to the teacher,the bully used to make comments loud enough for me to hear across the classroom and have verbal tantrums .I assume this was her way of intimidating me and restraining me from participating in the classes we were both in (English and Science and the same tutorial group)and answering questions that the teacher would ask the whole class.

    I was and still am a quiet person who hardly spoke in class. I used to be very good at English and Science at secondary school , I found putting my hand up and answering the questions gave me the confidence that I was craving for most of my life. The only time I spoke was to teachers when necessary and to the few friends I had who were not in most of my classes at school. I was never friends or ever wanted to be friends with this girl.

    I decided I didn't want to be friends with these group of girls in the tutorial group, as a result I only had one friend I had hanged out with in the tutorial group, she too was also bullied by most students in the year group. The bully saw this situation as an opportunity to bully me . In one lesson where she had made comments criticising me for putting my hand up to answer questions in class,she had called me over and called me a number of words such as 'Show-off' and that she 'doesn't like me'. I felt too sick and disgusted to say anything back to her that's shows how much I hated her, I didn't want any interaction with her whatsoever.

    The next lesson this is where she humiliated me in front of the whole class saying I was jealous of her and telling my only friend in the tutorial group to be in her team for PE lesson, my only friend didn't like the bully but obliged as she was scared of the bully she later told me this herself. With me standing by myself she she kept saying she didn't like me, and tried to portray me as a psychopath who was jealous of her because she was friends with the girls I didn't want to be friends with any more. These were lies as I had no interest in being friends with those girls or in the bully. I walked away. I couldn't stand the rubbish I was also occasionally bullied by other girls in the school from years 7-11, all of this led to a nervous breakdown and I started crying.

    A year later after this event she told further lies to my friend saying 'The reason she was crying was because she wanted to be in my team,she's so stupid'.This was a lie because I remember saying to the bully to leave me alone, I didn't want her in my face, let alone be in her team. It was clear evidence that the bully manipulated the whole event to make herself look good.

    The bully had tried continuously to harass me for example, saying 'hi' straight after humiliating me in front of the class with her lies, she had broken into my locker and put rubbish in the locker and laughed when she saw I was angry. She continued to verbally abuse me in classes calling me 'Weak' and just stare and glare at me whenever myself and her were in the same room as each other, these were her ways of yet again intimidating me. I had also caught her watching me change my clothes in the PE room. Despite all of this I had managed to pass most of my GCSEs and progressed onto sixth form and studied A Levels although these grades were not the best in the world.

    Presently,I decided not to go uni as I didn't know what career I wanted to do and I was scared of wasting money on the 'wrong' degree. I am now in my mid 20's and working in a residential care home that has low pay.

    Presently,I have been unable to get over what happened ,my depression and anxiety has worsened and I am deeply traumatised by this 10 years later. She used to call me 'stupid' , as a result today I feel I cannot do anything such as achieve academically or find a good job. I struggle and panic during job interviews which leads the interviewers to rejecting me.

    Presently,the bully managed to progress onto university and now has a high class job in city. This has exacerbated my mental illness. When I found out it had completely crushed me that after all the hell this bully caused she gets happiness while I have nothing. I cannot move on and the sad thing is I don't think I ever will and find happiness.

    I didn't fight back as the bully made me feel guilty whenever I tried to stand up to her, I remember saying to her 'I am not scared of you' and giving her a dirty look. The bully then broke into my locker and put rubbish in the locker.

    One of my friends found out where she works and said it's now my opportunity to fight back like I should have all those years ago. Should I confront the bully and confront her with what she did to me?



    Your help would be appreciated thank you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was bullied for the last 2 years at secondary school by a girl when I was 14-16 years old. The events and further experiences of being bullied after leaving secondary school triggered the occurrence depression, anxiety and low self-esteem.I am sorry for the for the long post.

    In regards to secondary school, whenever I put my hand up to answer a question to the teacher,the bully used to make comments loud enough for me to hear across the classroom and have verbal tantrums .I assume this was her way of intimidating me and restraining me from participating in the classes we were both in (English and Science and the same tutorial group)and answering questions that the teacher would ask the whole class.

    I was and still am a quiet person who hardly spoke in class. I used to be very good at English and Science at secondary school , I found putting my hand up and answering the questions gave me the confidence that I was craving for most of my life. The only time I spoke was to teachers when necessary and to the few friends I had who were not in most of my classes at school. I was never friends or ever wanted to be friends with this girl.

    I decided I didn't want to be friends with these group of girls in the tutorial group, as a result I only had one friend I had hanged out with in the tutorial group, she too was also bullied by most students in the year group. The bully saw this situation as an opportunity to bully me . In one lesson where she had made comments criticising me for putting my hand up to answer questions in class,she had called me over and called me a number of words such as 'Show-off' and that she 'doesn't like me'. I felt too sick and disgusted to say anything back to her that's shows how much I hated her, I didn't want any interaction with her whatsoever.

    The next lesson this is where she humiliated me in front of the whole class saying I was jealous of her and telling my only friend in the tutorial group to be in her team for PE lesson, my only friend didn't like the bully but obliged as she was scared of the bully she later told me this herself. With me standing by myself she she kept saying she didn't like me, and tried to portray me as a psychopath who was jealous of her because she was friends with the girls I didn't want to be friends with any more. These were lies as I had no interest in being friends with those girls or in the bully. I walked away. I couldn't stand the rubbish I was also occasionally bullied by other girls in the school from years 7-11, all of this led to a nervous breakdown and I started crying.

    A year later after this event she told further lies to my friend saying 'The reason she was crying was because she wanted to be in my team,she's so stupid'.This was a lie because I remember saying to the bully to leave me alone, I didn't want her in my face, let alone be in her team. It was clear evidence that the bully manipulated the whole event to make herself look good.

    The bully had tried continuously to harass me for example, saying 'hi' straight after humiliating me in front of the class with her lies, she had broken into my locker and put rubbish in the locker and laughed when she saw I was angry. She continued to verbally abuse me in classes calling me 'Weak' and just stare and glare at me whenever myself and her were in the same room as each other, these were her ways of yet again intimidating me. I had also caught her watching me change my clothes in the PE room. Despite all of this I had managed to pass most of my GCSEs and progressed onto sixth form and studied A Levels although these grades were not the best in the world.

    Presently,I decided not to go uni as I didn't know what career I wanted to do and I was scared of wasting money on the 'wrong' degree. I am now in my mid 20's and working in a residential care home that has low pay.

    Presently,I have been unable to get over what happened ,my depression and anxiety has worsened and I am deeply traumatised by this 10 years later. She used to call me 'stupid' , as a result today I feel I cannot do anything such as achieve academically or find a good job. I struggle and panic during job interviews which leads the interviewers to rejecting me.

    Presently,the bully managed to progress onto university and now has a high class job in city. This has exacerbated my mental illness. When I found out it had completely crushed me that after all the hell this bully caused she gets happiness while I have nothing. I cannot move on and the sad thing is I don't think I ever will and find happiness.

    I didn't fight back as the bully made me feel guilty whenever I tried to stand up to her, I remember saying to her 'I am not scared of you' and giving her a dirty look. The bully then broke into my locker and put rubbish in the locker.

    One of my friends found out where she works and said it's now my opportunity to fight back like I should have all those years ago. Should I confront the bully and confront her with what she did to me?



    Your help would be appreciated thank you.
    What a ****ing ****ty **** of a scrub.

    It's difficult to talk, you should've but whatever circumstances stopped you it's unfortunate :/

    What will you feel after?
    Is the real question. After vengeance and retribution will you feel much better? If so go ahead. I'm not encouraging you to go and bully her but i'm leaving the decision up to you. Bullying her will leave you with no regrets then go ahead, if you think you'll be worse off probably best not to do it right?
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    I think confronting may make me feel better on the other hand I feel scared and sickened to look at her face.

    I was thinking of reporting her to her employer to let them know who she really is or even to the press. Her employer is well known in the city, I'm scared she will do this to someone else as she's incredibly arrogant.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think confronting may make me feel better on the other hand I feel scared and sickened to look at her face.

    I was thinking of reporting her to her employer to let them know who she really is or even to the press. Her employer is well known in the city, I'm scared she will do this to someone else as she's incredibly arrogant.
    You need to really think about this. It was at least 10 years ago. She's probably not the same person that she was. Yes, she made you miserable, but you shouldn't stoop down to her level and do the same to her. What you need to do is find a way to move on and get better
 
 
 
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