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    I was bullied my entire primary school life. Sometimes I got pulled by my hair because of my hairstyle and other times I was kicked repeatedly and beaten til on the floor in tears. I didn't know what I had done to deserve this, I was always polite and nice to everyone. Quietly minding my own business and not disrupting anyone or being rude. When the teacher would find me lying on the floor, crying; I wouldn't know what to say or do due to the shock of being physically harmed. When I'd try to confront my bullies through the teachers help, I would find myself being bullied by them all over again.

    Verbal abuse from different bullies came frequently, perhaps I was stuck with a rotten year group. It also sucked because the guy I had a crush on was in most of my classes and I would slowly just listen to the bullies taunting me. "Stop breathing so loud, I can't work with you on this table" "Why are you drawing?" "You smell awful, when was the last time you showered"

    I was isolated from my only friend who was also an outcast. They would play with her leaving me by myself. When it came to group work and P.E I would be the last one picked.

    I ignored and carried on making friends along the way. Only to be bullied by them every now and then. Was I doing something wrong?
    I was happy and grateful and moved on into secondary, many of my bullies followed into the same secondary school as me. The cycle repeatedly but only verbally. Constantly made a bad person, told to speak louder, do this for them, do all the group work. I was in top sets for each subject and that was somewhat a bad thing, it made me "too clever" "a show off"

    I made friends with many people and most of the bullies got kicked out or moved schools but decided to make people hate me before doing so. They would get close friends of mine and tell them absolute rubbish to get them to hate me. My "friends" would feel awkward after that and no longer want to associate themself to me.
    It carried on my entire secondary life. I'd feel sick seeing the girls who kicked the crap out of me or having to sit next to my bullies in lessons.

    GCSEs went well but my bullies did extremely better. My As were no match for their 8-9 A*s. Some performed academically better than me and that made me angry. Now they have all finished A levels and progressed to top universities. They will go on to find amazing jobs and live a happy life after making mine a hell for years.

    Does anyone know how I can break myself from these feelings? They constantly come back and I break down every time. I want to forget about everything but these events traumatized me greatly. It hurts to be keeping it all to myself.
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    There are far too many sh*tty people in the world, and you got lumped with a bunch of them, which is very unfortunate. You have good grades - move to a uni away from home and get a better start. Your bullies will grow tired of you when you're not nearby - they'll find other targets. There's a good chance they'll get arrested or kicked out of a job at some point for being sh*tty people, but that's not your concern. Find a uni you like, a subject you enjoy, and study it to your hearts content. You'll meet great people with similar interests to you. Maybe you'll find a partner to live with, who knows? You can't change your past now, all you can do is look forward. The further disconnected you are from your past, the better.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was bullied my entire primary school life. Sometimes I got pulled by my hair because of my hairstyle and other times I was kicked repeatedly and beaten til on the floor in tears. I didn't know what I had done to deserve this, I was always polite and nice to everyone. Quietly minding my own business and not disrupting anyone or being rude. When the teacher would find me lying on the floor, crying; I wouldn't know what to say or do due to the shock of being physically harmed. When I'd try to confront my bullies through the teachers help, I would find myself being bullied by them all over again.

    Verbal abuse from different bullies came frequently, perhaps I was stuck with a rotten year group. It also sucked because the guy I had a crush on was in most of my classes and I would slowly just listen to the bullies taunting me. "Stop breathing so loud, I can't work with you on this table" "Why are you drawing?" "You smell awful, when was the last time you showered"

    I was isolated from my only friend who was also an outcast. They would play with her leaving me by myself. When it came to group work and P.E I would be the last one picked.

    I ignored and carried on making friends along the way. Only to be bullied by them every now and then. Was I doing something wrong?
    I was happy and grateful and moved on into secondary, many of my bullies followed into the same secondary school as me. The cycle repeatedly but only verbally. Constantly made a bad person, told to speak louder, do this for them, do all the group work. I was in top sets for each subject and that was somewhat a bad thing, it made me "too clever" "a show off"

    I made friends with many people and most of the bullies got kicked out or moved schools but decided to make people hate me before doing so. They would get close friends of mine and tell them absolute rubbish to get them to hate me. My "friends" would feel awkward after that and no longer want to associate themself to me.
    It carried on my entire secondary life. I'd feel sick seeing the girls who kicked the crap out of me or having to sit next to my bullies in lessons.

    GCSEs went well but my bullies did extremely better. My As were no match for their 8-9 A*s. Some performed academically better than me and that made me angry. Now they have all finished A levels and progressed to top universities. They will go on to find amazing jobs and live a happy life after making mine a hell for years.

    Does anyone know how I can break myself from these feelings? They constantly come back and I break down every time. I want to forget about everything but these events traumatized me greatly. It hurts to be keeping it all to myself.
    What sort of therapy / professional medical help are you getting? You need some form of counseling as you are preventing yourself moving on. Some of it wont work, but you have to keep asking.

    Luckily you are academically gifted, so when you do well in your A levels and go to university, then none of those people will be there or capable of adopting such behaviours. You will have a fresh start because no one will know you. You have to break the sycle becayse you are letting the trauma do their bullying for them, thus its imperative you talk and share with people, so you cna see it was not normal , not evweryone is like that and you can break the cyle plus have a normal life.


    Childline 0800 1111
    http://www.ditchthelabel.org/get-help/
    http://www.anti-bullyingalliance.org...-young-people/
    https://bulliesout.com/need-support/young-people/
    They have a mentor scheme
    [email protected]
    http://www.bullying.co.uk/

    You will need the therapy to make sense of the past and realise it doesnt have to and shouldnt dictate your future. From what you post it seems unlikely you have the objectivity to do that on your own.

    Please contact the people above. They cna help you deal with the issues and develop routines so you can increase confidence and self esteem, which should make you feel better and more resistant to any form of bulying.
 
 
 
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