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How to make sure my son is studying properly? watch

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    Good Morning Folks

    I hope you're all well. My teenage son who is in year 11 seems to be getting stubborn day by day regarding his studies. He is getting below average school grades and I have offered him assistance on countless occasions to try and help him grasp the subjects taught. For example, I suggested that he learn a topic and I can ask him questions related to the topic to make sure he understands it ok. He says he doesn't want that since it would be like being in school. He says he is doing ok at school but his grades obviously don't show that.

    Could someone be kind enough to give me advice/tips on how I can help my son to grasp the subject topics taught in school in a better way, thus making sure he gets above average grades?

    Thanks in advance for your responses.
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    Though you are understandably concerned about your son's progress, you more you fuss and micromanage him the less likely he is to make any progress. This is so hard to do, I know - your natural response as a parent is to encourage, support and possibly cajole as much as possible.

    What has the school had to say about this? What's their assessment of his attitude to learning? Are there subjects which he seems to be particularly struggling with, or is it more of a global thing?
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    Firstly what you should do is take away his mobile phone/ game console.

    Then everyone revises differently but what works a lot is short bursts of studying I would suggest 45minutes + a 10 minute break thats a good idea

    Your revision sounds good but if he doesnt want it. Ask him what he wants to do? Some good ideas are mindmaps,flash cards, videos amd most important is exam questions.
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    I feel your pain. In GCSE's, in order to get the best grades you have to memorise the content and do past papers to get used to the feel of the exam. In my opinion the only real way to memorise content is to have a text book in front of you and for the student to write out the content in words they understand. This isn't a one of process, it must be repeated multiple times to truly memorise a topic. What should be done after is ask your son to explain the topic to you whilst you have the textbook; if one can fully explain a topic, they completely understand it. This works best for science subjects and any other subject which requires you to remember large amounts of information like history/geography. In order to do well in maths, tell your son to find out all the topics and write out example answers to questions with the help of a teacher, or one could use internet resources which is much easier. There is no substitute for hard work and every child is perfectly capable of doing well at GCSE. The ability to focus when it comes to revision doesn't come overnight, it sounds crazy but you work on the ability to focus subconsciously through hours of trials. 15/16 is a difficult age, as so many teens get side tracked away from school. I think the best way to encourage your son is to convey that you are genuinely worried, but don't treat him like a child (presumption) as it will turn him off. If you work together in making a strategy to tackle these exams, opposed to you telling him what to do, it will be more effective. Lastly, you and your son shouldn't get tied up with all the aptitude tests they do in school as the effect is mostly negative and they don't really tell you anything. EVERY teen is able to do well at GCSE. What might prevent your son from reaching his full potential may be a fear of working hard and then failing (this is an example). Just talk to him, find out whats really going on in his head. Then encourage him that he can be the best version of himself; but it requires to formulate a strategy and commitment to stick to it. Gradually build up the work load as exams come closer, but be careful that he doesn't burn out!
    Hope this helps
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    I agree with the other posters. At GCSE I absolutely hated doing exam questions and I wasn't a fan of revision either. Techniques that really helped for me were using sites like Quizlet, Studystack and Memrise - the games, while they may seem a bit cheesy, are often infinitely preferable to sitting with a book for hours on end.

    Do you think he might be shutting himself off from revision because he feels like it hasn't worked for him before?
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    Study Helper
    He's immature and has developed a teenage rebellion/ aversion to anything he does not like.

    The fact is, he will be influenced by his close friends and peer group far, far more than you as a parent.

    If he does not have a specific aspirational career aim (who does at that age?) or wants to go to university, then there will be little incentive for him to study hard.

    He may be also in denial and is struggling in lessons. For instance, maths, physics etc, progressively builds a toolkit of knowledge. If the right tool cannot be used, then he will find it harder and harder to continue until. There comes a point when a student will stop trying and gets bored/ seeks attention in other ways - I.e. becomes disruptive.

    It's hard for a parent to accept that the biggest life lesson for a teenager comes from allowing them to make their own mistakes and that they then have to accept responsibility for the consequences of their actions.

    As a parent, the best you can do is get someone else they look up to and respect to have a discreet chat both to make the consequences clear and to try a motivate them to change their priorities.

    Always have a fallback plan for when things go belly up- apprenticeship etc.

    Whatever else you do, do not force your will onto his. That is the quickest way of creating resentment and he may end up despising education for the rest of his life.

    I completely empathise with your predicament.
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    (Original post by SuperHuman98)
    Firstly what you should do is take away his mobile phone/ game console.

    Then everyone revises differently but what works a lot is short bursts of studying I would suggest 45minutes + a 10 minute break thats a good idea

    Your revision sounds good but if he doesnt want it. Ask him what he wants to do? Some good ideas are mindmaps,flash cards, videos amd most important is exam questions.
    Although that might seem like a decent solution, it may make him unresponsive to change. Some may simply just "not be bothered", and give up following that action. Simply, taking away devices might have the passing apperance of encouragement, but many may see it as punishment, and thus may be discouraged.

    geek84 Before doing anything you have to look at his past assessments to see why he's getting those "poor"/"mediocre" grades. Grades that are not final are absolutely and entirely, meaningless unless you know the reason for them. To me, assessments are not intended to accurately assess current progress. Most fail in this regard, unless it's mocks. They are rather to identify weaknesses in topics. You may find that your son's grades are based off the assessment of one topic, which means that grade may not be indicative of his current progress. If he has not been assessed, the grade is simply a guess based off previous assessments and should be mostly disregarded. You may choose to assess him yourself, if this is the case. You need to look at his individual assessments for the bigger picture. Once you've identified why he's getting these grades, go from there. You cannot assume it's any one thing, ie. you can't assume that it's "laziness", "lack of knowledge", etc., until you look. Be careful in what restrictions you impose upon him, if you were thinking of doing that. They may in fact discourage him from working, as he may feel that he has no motivation to.
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    Find ways to motivate him. Have a chat about the importance of GCSE's especially now since they've gotten rid of AS grades and so universities will be looking at them a lot more.
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    We need to look at peoples' natural abilities and limitations.

    I have 2 children both in year 9. One likes and does well in humanities but doesn't like sciences or maths, the other is the opposite and likes science but can't see the point of learning about novels in English.

    I would obviously like both of them to do well in all their subjects, sciences and humanities but I have to accept their natural abilities and limitations.

    Not everyone can do well at school, if they did, Oxbridge would be bursting at the seams. Find out what else your son is good at and what he wants to do. He might not be trying hard enough but on the other hand, he might be trying his hardest right now and his grades accurately reflects his natural abilities.
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    (Original post by geek84)
    Good Morning Folks

    I hope you're all well. My teenage son who is in year 11 seems to be getting stubborn day by day regarding his studies. He is getting below average school grades and I have offered him assistance on countless occasions to try and help him grasp the subjects taught. For example, I suggested that he learn a topic and I can ask him questions related to the topic to make sure he understands it ok. He says he doesn't want that since it would be like being in school. He says he is doing ok at school but his grades obviously don't show that.

    Could someone be kind enough to give me advice/tips on how I can help my son to grasp the subject topics taught in school in a better way, thus making sure he gets above average grades?

    Thanks in advance for your responses.
    Hi,

    As a teacher, I thought I would also offer some advice.
    First of all, its great to know that he has a supportive parent like you.

    Here are my tips:
    1 - contact his Head of Year and ask him/her about how your son is doing. You could even meet the HoY for a quick meeting to discuss your concerns. The purpose of this is so that your son sees that you are serious about his studies (and hopefully he will realise he needs to appreciate this!) Its also a chance for you to get information about him and establish a rapport with the HoY who can support you.

    2 - rather than asking him questions after each topic, I would advise you just need to manage him him rather than act as a tutor. Instruct him to complete all his homework. At the end of lets say every 2 days, you check he has completed it. You could also tell him to complete his planner (so that you know which homework he has). Be very firm on this - there needs to be a consequence if he does not do this. You decide what this consequence is.

    3 - linking in to 2, you support him in making a study timetable. And he should follow this. As others of have said, he should make notes and complete past papers.

    4 - He may not have the motivation right now to study. research has shown that merely showing motivational videos etc. does not really make much of an impact on attainment - its about reflecting on existing attainment and looking for existing successes which does make an impact. You need to show praise him on some of the existing progress he has made and help him reflect on this. You can get some of this information from his Head of Year who should be able to collect info from his teachers and pass you their email addresses. During these reflections, coach him into realising his areas for development. Tell him the importance of reading and interpreting his feedback from teachers. After a few revision/study sessions, help him reflect on the usefulness of these. He needs to see that doing them is leading to him improving his subject knowledge and attainment.
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    (Original post by geek84)
    Good Morning Folks

    I hope you're all well. My teenage son who is in year 11 seems to be getting stubborn day by day regarding his studies. He is getting below average school grades and I have offered him assistance on countless occasions to try and help him grasp the subjects taught. For example, I suggested that he learn a topic and I can ask him questions related to the topic to make sure he understands it ok. He says he doesn't want that since it would be like being in school. He says he is doing ok at school but his grades obviously don't show that.

    Could someone be kind enough to give me advice/tips on how I can help my son to grasp the subject topics taught in school in a better way, thus making sure he gets above average grades?

    Thanks in advance for your responses.
    You can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

    All you're going to do if you hover over him and try to make sure that he's "on track" is piss both him and yourself off, and make him resent you. As much as you care about his future, the lessons he need to learn concerning self-management and time-management and whatever are ones that he needs to learn himself, rather than be taught. Sometimes, sadly, the only way you can actually learn those lessons is the hard way.

    Just be supportive, but don't hang over him and make him feel like he's obliged to do well just because you don't want to see him fail. Anyone at that age needs to feel independant, even if they aren't, and what that means for the people around them is to just be there and let them come for help when they need it. That way it'll have been their idea to get help, and they'll have more conviction in their attitude toward it.
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    Give him a slap brah
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    I performed much worse than i should've done during GCSEs too, and it was all because I had no motivation. At that age, I had no idea what I wanted to do as a career so that is probably why. As soon as I had a rough idea what I wanted to go into, my motivation sky-rocketed. Maybe try and help him realise his goals (not something that should happen overnight!). If he doesn't know exactly what kind of job he wants, at least try and discuss what area... e.g. biology, maths/engineering. Also some other stuff could motivate him too as it did me like the prospect of owning your own house and half decent car in a few years if you get a good job. But I can't see how you personally trying to help with his work will do anything. Motivation is a very powerful thing and I believe it is almost single handedly the determining factor of what makes someone successful or not.
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    (Original post by geek84)
    Good Morning Folks

    I hope you're all well. My teenage son who is in year 11 seems to be getting stubborn day by day regarding his studies. He is getting below average school grades and I have offered him assistance on countless occasions to try and help him grasp the subjects taught. For example, I suggested that he learn a topic and I can ask him questions related to the topic to make sure he understands it ok. He says he doesn't want that since it would be like being in school. He says he is doing ok at school but his grades obviously don't show that.

    Could someone be kind enough to give me advice/tips on how I can help my son to grasp the subject topics taught in school in a better way, thus making sure he gets above average grades?

    Thanks in advance for your responses.
    Grades aren't everything, but if they're getting consistently x grade then they're probably going to get that grade. It's all about the final exam really though isn't it?

    Coming from a 6th form student who's had many forms of "forced" learning the best long term solution is to make your son realise he needs to work and get good grades to have a good chance in life. That way he himself if he truly wants to work then he will study hard himself without anyone telling him anything.

    You can do what you will, such as set times for revision, confiscation of entertainment such as phone, consoles and pc, even making a timetable and asking them to follow it and making sure they stick to it to supervise will not get them good grades until they realise they want to work hard. The only thing missing is his own will to work. Unfortunately the experience and understanding that he needs to get work done comes with time, it's certainly not too late but the earlier he recognises the better, still just help him realise this.

    I understand as a parent you want your son to do well but i guess the best option now is to "make" them do some work.
    Another way is to let them play as much games as they want and slowly make them do a bit of work, let's say 3 hours gaming to 1 hour work and then slowly adjust the ratios so work time becomes more than work. This is how i started and now i just do some work when i need to.
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    There's moms on tsr??
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    (Original post by Faheemcg9)
    There's moms on tsr??
    Mums not "moms", we are not Americans.
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    (Original post by Maker)
    Mums not "moms", we are not Americans.
    Did you just assume my race?
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    (Original post by Faheemcg9)
    Did you just assume my race?
    What race are Americans part of?
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    (Original post by Maker)
    What race are Americans part of?
    Did you just assume America is a race?
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    Put a fukin gun to his head
 
 
 
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