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Angry/upset with my boyfriend and not yet ready to talk watch

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    As the above suggests, there's a couple of things which have made me more sad than angry with my boyfriend. I wasn't able to address these last week as he was going on holiday and I knew we wouldn't get a chance to talk properly before then and did not want to have anything linger on his mind before he left. So everything got left unsaid and it's all built up inside.

    I haven't seen him since Wednesday evening and barely spoken since then as he has had limited to no network. Tomorrow will be the first time seeing each other at work. I don't feel I'm ready to talk yet and I don't think he knows anything is wrong though he is usually quick to sense if something is up when he is physically around me.

    If I wasn't seeing him I'd be able to avoid better till I was ready to talk but being around him, I won't be able to be normal if I'm not yet I'm not really at the point where I want to discuss anything. I fear I might say something I don't want to so wanted to be calm before I spoke to him about it.

    I was thinking to just be honest and tell him "I'm not ready to talk yet but will do once I can" if he senses anything. I just feel that it's mean though that's not my intention. I just imagine that if the shoe was on the other foot, I would feel quite bad being put in the lurch like that. Knowing something was up but not knowing what. He tends to worry quite quickly too like it affects him if I push him away or seem to be doing so.

    I'm not really sure what to do. I just want space but worry about how it will make him feel or the impact on our relationship. Any advice?
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    This is why modern day relationships don't last.


    There has to be a commonplace space between you, and you have to be able to talk to each other.
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    (Original post by WrenLazarus)
    This is why modern day relationships don't last.


    There has to be a commonplace space between you, and you have to be able to talk to each other.
    I am able to talk to him. Just don't want to when I might not be fully in control of what I want to say and in the meantime I don't want it to seem as if I'm giving the silent treatment or keeping him at bay as I wouldn't like it if it was the other way round.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am able to talk to him. Just don't want to when I might not be fully in control of what I want to say and in the meantime I don't want it to seem as if I'm giving the silent treatment or keeping him at bay as I wouldn't like it if it was the other way round.
    Don't control what you're saying.

    Trust me.


    I have started a conversation with my boyfriend (multiple times), and suddenly started crying and mumbling And then.. weirdly - he begins to understand why I'm mad, or upset, ect. Same with him.
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    Absolutely, if you aren't happy talk to him and tell him you need some space. Me and my partner split up a few years ago and the break did us the world of good. It gave us both chance to have a good look at our relationship and where we had gone wrong. Communication is vital in a relationship, if you don't talk about what's bothering you, your fears whatever it may be there is no point. Bottling things up is the worst thing to do.
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    (Original post by WrenLazarus)
    Don't control what you're saying.

    Trust me.


    I have started a conversation with my boyfriend (multiple times), and suddenly started crying and mumbling And then.. weirdly - he begins to understand why I'm mad, or upset, ect. Same with him.
    That's what normally happens with us. I just naturally blurt out, cry, get angry then calm down. And he's been really good at handling it, consoling me etc. I just feel bad after and I'm trying not to be so.... Emotional? I duno. I just fear it's gona get tiresome. He's always encouraging me to talk as I naturally internalise and he just says he wants to be part of the good and the bad. I guess I just don't wana go off on one. I would have had I had the chance after Wednesday eve when I started to feel bad but he went on holiday and I just didn't want to ruin his time away so I kept quiet. And now I just feel so drained
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's what normally happens with us. I just naturally blurt out, cry, get angry then calm down. And he's been really good at handling it, consoling me etc. I just feel bad after and I'm trying not to be so.... Emotional? I duno. I just fear it's gona get tiresome. He's always encouraging me to talk as I naturally internalise and he just says he wants to be part of the good and the bad. I guess I just don't wana go off on one. I would have had I had the chance after Wednesday eve when I started to feel bad but he went on holiday and I just didn't want to ruin his time away so I kept quiet. And now I just feel so drained

    I'm not saying this in the wrong way - but have you thought on going to see a psychologist? It really helps, in this sort of situation.
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    (Original post by hardygirl30)
    Absolutely, if you aren't happy talk to him and tell him you need some space. Me and my partner split up a few years ago and the break did us the world of good. It gave us both chance to have a good look at our relationship and where we had gone wrong. Communication is vital in a relationship, if you don't talk about what's bothering you, your fears whatever it may be there is no point. Bottling things up is the worst thing to do.
    I know he will feel bad like I'm keeping him at a distance if I say I need space. He's always eager to be involved, understand how I'm feeling and has often said it makes him feel bad when he feels like I'm pushing him away. I'm naturally more reserved in what I say anyway and tend to withdraw when I'm sad or upset though he's been helping me not to do that and I have been more open with him. Sigh....
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    (Original post by WrenLazarus)
    I'm not saying this in the wrong way - but have you thought on going to see a psychologist? It really helps, in this sort of situation.
    Not so far. Maybe I've just had too much time in my head to go a little crazy :s
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not so far. Maybe I've just had too much time in my head to go a little crazy :s
    Well, besides the fact I, personally, have (medically diagnosed) OCD - and this is just from my perspective..

    Definitely take it into consideration.

    Nobody understood why I did things in certain ways, and thats when I started to internalize things - and then depression kicked in, sadly.


    Plus! It's helped me to control my emotions and talk to my boyfriend.

    Try it out, it's not for everyone.


    You can watch youtube videos for it, ASMR videos, ect. They calm you down, and soothe you. You might be able to control you're emotions then, and be able to talk to him better .
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know he will feel bad like I'm keeping him at a distance if I say I need space. He's always eager to be involved, understand how I'm feeling and has often said it makes him feel bad when he feels like I'm pushing him away. I'm naturally more reserved in what I say anyway and tend to withdraw when I'm sad or upset though he's been helping me not to do that and I have been more open with him. Sigh....
    It sounds to me like you both want to be with each other but you need a little space. It doesn't signify the end of your relationship just a chance to miss each other if you like and figure out what the problem is. There is a 6 year age gap between me and my partner and he's my soul mate but in any relationship you have times like this. It sounds like you both need to talk , get what's off your chest and listen to one another. How long have you been together ?
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    (Original post by hardygirl30)
    It sounds to me like you both want to be with each other but you need a little space. It doesn't signify the end of your relationship just a chance to miss each other if you like and figure out what the problem is. There is a 6 year age gap between me and my partner and he's my soul mate but in any relationship you have times like this. It sounds like you both need to talk , get what's off your chest and listen to one another. How long have you been together ?
    Near 6 months which doesn't sound very long but it's more intense than anything I've experienced before. I often thought of him as a soulmate but never said it but he's expressed it many times now. There's 12 years between us. I'm not sure if it adds complexity. It never feels like it does but then again the intensity is unreal.

    Given the short time together I'm just wary overall that it might be "the shortest flames burn the brightest" type thing.

    Maybe I just miss him and seeing him tomorrow will sort things out and I'm jus overthinking. I never felt bat **** crazy before lol
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    (Original post by WrenLazarus)
    Well, besides the fact I, personally, have (medically diagnosed) OCD - and this is just from my perspective..

    Definitely take it into consideration.

    Nobody understood why I did things in certain ways, and thats when I started to internalize things - and then depression kicked in, sadly.


    Plus! It's helped me to control my emotions and talk to my boyfriend.

    Try it out, it's not for everyone.


    You can watch youtube videos for it, ASMR videos, ect. They calm you down, and soothe you. You might be able to control you're emotions then, and be able to talk to him better .
    Thanks, I'll have a look into it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Near 6 months which doesn't sound very long but it's more intense than anything I've experienced before. I often thought of him as a soulmate but never said it but he's expressed it many times now. There's 12 years between us. I'm not sure if it adds complexity. It never feels like it does but then again the intensity is unreal.

    Given the short time together I'm just wary overall that it might be "the shortest flames burn the brightest" type thing.

    Maybe I just miss him and seeing him tomorrow will sort things out and I'm jus overthinking. I never felt bat **** crazy before lol
    I guess time will tell, no point stressing over it though just try remain positive. 6 months is a long time, just tell him how you feel. You two will be fine
 
 
 
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