Getting annoyed by flatmate. Watch

Aleveltimes
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This might sound really silly to some people but ever since I moved into my accommodation a few weeks ago one particular flatmate has just progressively become more and more irritating in everything she does. I don't know if I can not say anything for much longer and I feel like even if I wanted to I wouldn't know what to say to her.

She travelled from an island to be at our uni, so she didn't bring a lot of household things for the kitchen. She asked during the first week if she could borrow a pot to boil pasta in because she was going to get one the next day and she only needed it once. That 'next day' never happened and since then she's used all of my things, most of the time without asking. I was sleeping the other day and I came out of my room to make dinner and she was using both of my pots which I needed to use. She then left them with all horrible food stuck to them and said she'd wash them later. That never happened as she went out and didn't come back in until 4am.

She also never cleans anything and is one of them people that makes so much mess. I don't suffer with OCD but I do like to be in a clean environment, after all, we are all eating and watching tv in there. I've been the one, along with two other flat mates who cleans the kitchen. I'm fine with cleaning, but not so fine when she deliberately makes mess straight away and doesn't clean it up. She even tagged me in something on Facebook about bins needing emptying which was really rude. She gets parcels from home and literally throws the boxes behind the sofa so now we just have lots of boxes, parcel packages and bags behind the sofa. We also have two crates from tesco food deliveries that she had. She just throws everything and leaves it there.

I went on a two day trip with the uni and had to go as part of my course, it was a really tiring two days and late on a Friday evening when I got back. My flatmate had left for the weekend and left every single dish she owned dirty. The kitchen stank, because she soaks things in cold water for some reason and I had to clean them because I just couldn't stand the smell and I didn't have anywhere to clean my dishes as hers were everywhere. I wasn't happy about this at all.

Every time I subtly mention her dishes or she sees me looking at them she always says she doesn't need to do them until there's more needing to be cleaned and yeah, if you lived on your own that would be fine, but there's not enough space in the kitchen for her to have that attitude and isn't fair on the rest of the flat.

At first my other flat mates thought it was funny how annoyed I was getting because despite the fact this girl annoys the hell out of my with her laziness, I do really like her as a person and we all get along so well as a flat. But now they're all getting really annoyed by it and the fact they have to clean up all the time and the kitchen is always really dirty.

How on earth should I go about talking to her about this?

I can't even leave a note saying do your dishes as there's only 5 of us in the flat, she already knows how annoyed I am about cleaning and recognises my handwriting.




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lulucoco98
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Tell her something OP! I'm so angry reading this thread. What a dirty cow 😑
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cupcakes87
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I think you all need to sit down as a flat and talk to het. If she takes it badly then she needs to groe up. If that fails talk to your landlord/ company that owns yoir accomodation about the situation in your kitchen. Usually some sort of intervention from them helps. Make sure to let her know that you are going to do that though. If it comes to telling the owners of the accomodation, write an email and cc everyone of yot flat in too.

Hope this helps
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Aleveltimes
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(Original post by cupcakes87)
I think you all need to sit down as a flat and talk to het. If she takes it badly then she needs to groe up. If that fails talk to your landlord/ company that owns yoir accomodation about the situation in your kitchen. Usually some sort of intervention from them helps. Make sure to let her know that you are going to do that though. If it comes to telling the owners of the accomodation, write an email and cc everyone of yot flat in too.

Hope this helps
I might try just having a word with her about it but I'm quite quiet when it comes to saying things to people. I just feel like if I don't say something it's going to get worse and she mentioned living together next year the other day and there's no way I could live with her for another year. My course is really intense so I don't get a lot of time to relax and when I spend most of the time cleaning the kitchen so I actually feel like I'm not going to get ill from cooking and eating in there, I get so exhausted. Thank you for your suggestion


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#ChaosKass
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That's foreign students for you. I'm afraid you just have to suck it up and get on with things, living with people like this is part of life as a student.
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cupcakes87
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(Original post by Aleveltimes)
I might try just having a word with her about it but I'm quite quiet when it comes to saying things to people. I just feel like if I don't say something it's going to get worse and she mentioned living together next year the other day and there's no way I could live with her for another year. My course is really intense so I don't get a lot of time to relax and when I spend most of the time cleaning the kitchen so I actually feel like I'm not going to get ill from cooking and eating in there, I get so exhausted. Thank you for your suggestion


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i know it can be a bit daunting and you dont want to be the one that comes across as a ***** but honestly, if you want things to change and shes not getting the hint, thats the only way forward. exactly! you want to come home and be able to relax and unwind and this isnt letting you! she may be happy to live like a slob but obviously not everyone else is. deffo say something and if not, contact your accommodation for an intervention! hope it helps

(Original post by #ChaosKass)
That's foreign students for you. I'm afraid you just have to suck it up and get on with things, living with people like this is part of life as a student.
you can't generalise foreign students! ive met british ones that are absolute slobs and foreign students who are OCD clean so dont go there, thats wrong to say. and she doesnt have to 'suck it up and get on with things' , there are actions she can take and she should.
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Liz Rayner
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I was in the same situation once and we basically just hid our stuff so she couldn't use it. It was a bit of a pain for a while, but then they soon got the message as they then had to buy their own things. In our uni halls, anything left out dirty was collected up and and confiscated! A bit passive aggressive, but sometimes that's the only way without a big fight! Good luck!
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doodle_333
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(Original post by #ChaosKass)
That's foreign students for you. I'm afraid you just have to suck it up and get on with things, living with people like this is part of life as a student.
That's racism for you.

I've lived with plenty of foreign students and never had a single issue with mess/cleaning. If anything they tended to be cleaner, better flatmates.

OP - notes won't solve anything, neither will offhand comments, you need to sit down as a flat and all discuss some 'house rules' e.g. a bin rota, how long dirty pots can be left, rules for using other people's stuff etc and make it clear to her this is a big deal and you are all agreed she is not behaving up to standard
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fatima17k
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honestly, i dont understand how tf this might sound silly
if i were you, and this bs happened to me, i wouldnt talk to her, id beat the sh*t out of her, coz im not her slave to be responsible of cleaning up her sh*t
you dont have to beat her up if you're the peaceful type lol, but i would at least talk to her and force her to clean her own mess, idc what i have to do but shes responsible over her own ass
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Tiger Rag
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Do you have locks on any of your cupboards?
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Jackieox
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I know it sounds annoying but keep your pans/plates and stuff in a lockable cupboard or in your room. Then she'll have to go and get her own.
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will'o'wisp
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(Original post by Aleveltimes)
This might sound really silly to some people but ever since I moved into my accommodation a few weeks ago one particular flatmate has just progressively become more and more irritating in everything she does. I don't know if I can not say anything for much longer and I feel like even if I wanted to I wouldn't know what to say to her.

She travelled from an island to be at our uni, so she didn't bring a lot of household things for the kitchen. She asked during the first week if she could borrow a pot to boil pasta in because she was going to get one the next day and she only needed it once. That 'next day' never happened and since then she's used all of my things, most of the time without asking. I was sleeping the other day and I came out of my room to make dinner and she was using both of my pots which I needed to use. She then left them with all horrible food stuck to them and said she'd wash them later. That never happened as she went out and didn't come back in until 4am.

She also never cleans anything and is one of them people that makes so much mess. I don't suffer with OCD but I do like to be in a clean environment, after all, we are all eating and watching tv in there. I've been the one, along with two other flat mates who cleans the kitchen. I'm fine with cleaning, but not so fine when she deliberately makes mess straight away and doesn't clean it up. She even tagged me in something on Facebook about bins needing emptying which was really rude. She gets parcels from home and literally throws the boxes behind the sofa so now we just have lots of boxes, parcel packages and bags behind the sofa. We also have two crates from tesco food deliveries that she had. She just throws everything and leaves it there.

I went on a two day trip with the uni and had to go as part of my course, it was a really tiring two days and late on a Friday evening when I got back. My flatmate had left for the weekend and left every single dish she owned dirty. The kitchen stank, because she soaks things in cold water for some reason and I had to clean them because I just couldn't stand the smell and I didn't have anywhere to clean my dishes as hers were everywhere. I wasn't happy about this at all.

Every time I subtly mention her dishes or she sees me looking at them she always says she doesn't need to do them until there's more needing to be cleaned and yeah, if you lived on your own that would be fine, but there's not enough space in the kitchen for her to have that attitude and isn't fair on the rest of the flat.

At first my other flat mates thought it was funny how annoyed I was getting because despite the fact this girl annoys the hell out of my with her laziness, I do really like her as a person and we all get along so well as a flat. But now they're all getting really annoyed by it and the fact they have to clean up all the time and the kitchen is always really dirty.

How on earth should I go about talking to her about this?

I can't even leave a note saying do your dishes as there's only 5 of us in the flat, she already knows how annoyed I am about cleaning and recognises my handwriting.




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You+flatmates need to come together and talk about this to her, other wise just secure everything you have, pots and utensils, put them in a large container with a lock on it. You have to protect your things.
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