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Best friend getting engaged but I am not sure if it's the right thing to do watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    My best friend is proposing to his girlfriend next week and whilst I'm really happy for him I'm not sure it's the right thing he should do. Him and his girlfriend have been together for 2 years now they met each other at uni and she is a great match for him but it just seems a little rushed for them getting engaged they don't even live together they both live at home with their parents and one will spend a few days a week at the others house.

    Also my friend borrowed the money to pay for the engagement ring, I have a few older friends who are engaged and they all payed for the engagement rings on their own and believe you shouldn't borrow money to pay for a ring. I know money shouldn't be a factor in getting engaged or married but I can understand the point they are trying to make. Also my friend and his girlfriend only have part time jobs and work about 8 hours a week each in retail so they don't exactly have a lot of money.

    What does anyone else think? Whilst I'm happy that my friend is getting engaged I don't think it is the right thing for him to do right now. They haven't even lived together properly yet and 99% of the people who I have spoken to think you should live together with someone before getting engaged so what does everyone else think?
    • Very Important Poster

    Very Important Poster
    There's nothing you can/should do apart from give him support. Would you want to try and call off the wedding or try to persuade him not to get married? It's not what you think is best for him because at the end of the day it is his decision, he is an adult and is able to make his own decisions. If they're in love then let them be...

    There are far worse scenario's for people to get married in. If they only work 8 hours a day they its unlikely they would be able to have a place together unless they are students and shack up together off the back of student loan, etc. Borrowing money for a ring is not the end of the world, if they have part time jobs then they could have the means to pay it back particularly if they may increase their hours later. If they are still living at home they don't have the expenses so better income potential. Theoretically they could be engaged for a long time so there's no time limit that says they have to actually marry in the near future even if they are engaged. Probably somewhat of a romantic thing between them. Some people have gotten engaged after 6 months or less, a few people even after a day!

    If you don't mind me asking you seem awfully concerned for your friend, there's sometimes no telling which relationships will work out or not, sure it can be better to live together first but these days with house prices, etc you can't put your life on hold to wait/save for that. I wonder what this is really all about? You say you are happy for them, we are generally supposed to be, but are you really? or do you feel it because your friend is moving forward with his life and you are not?
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