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I just have to get this off my chest or I'll go crazy watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    This is a long post. I just need to say it. If anyone has been through anything similar, advice would be greatly appreciated. How did it work out for you?

    I've been in a relationship for over 2 years, but I don't think I love her anymore. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with her, well, I can and in this imagined future with her, I'm not happy. I know I have to break up with her, but she loves me so much. Too much. Her love for me is unconditional, without even the condition that we need to be happy. But I know that it's cruel for me to break up with her when she has exams so soon, so I have to wait until after her exams, and that means that every time I see her I have to pretend things are OK.

    To complicate it even more, I recently met another girl, and I just can't stop thinking about her. She has a boyfriend, I have a girlfriend (for now), and to be honest, it's unlikely that she see's me as a good reason to break up with her boyfriend. But I know she knows I like her, and there's been one or two signs that she's been thinking about it, but then, I know I'm overanalysing. The main thing is, I don't think about my girlfriend, and I do think about her.

    It all feels like a huge mess I'm in, that can only end badly. At worst I'll end up hurting my girlfriend, this new girl, her boyfriend and the mutual friends who she has with this boyfriend. Most likely though, I'll just end up single and lonely, with a big hole in my life where my girlfriend is, and is that any better than a dull relationship with someone who loves me so much?
    • #2

    I was in the exact same situation, only I'm female and was with a boyfriend who loved me unconditionally like you describe. I chose to end it, and honestly have not regretted it at all. It is far better to be single and happy than in a relationship and unhappy.

    Hey there anonymous! It's actually good that you vented this up ....
    I think reflecting over this situation, I found some stuff that you could maybe adhere to if you wish

    Give yourself time to think...

    about that first day when you met her (your present g.f.)
    How did you conclude that you're going to stay together with her?
    Consider the situations where you felt she's awesome/unique in.... wasn't it more than physical attractiveness?

    And yes, I can feel your frustration, what you can do is, you can Change the direction of thought From "she loves me too much" to "How does her love benefit me?"

    Another thought to ponder, about the girl whom you've been thinking a lot... consider this...

    Did you start liking her from her inside persona? Or exterior physical attributes?

    I'm sorry if you find my advice boring or mean or long... But I do hope and wish you success in your decision of the future.

    Honestly you're better off ending it. Imagine how hard it'll be on your gf if she finds out a few years from on that you didn't really love her anymore.
    • #3

    I had a similar situation, kept things going for six years, ended it eventually and regretted not ending it sooner. Be brave, you'll find someone who loves you again!

    I never understand how people can be together for that long and just stop loving someone, and start liking someone else, you'd think it be harder to let someone else come in and make you forget the good times and memories built. Unless it was a horrible relationship.

    Yeah end it with her after exams she doesn't need that headache yet.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I had a similar situation, kept things going for six years, ended it eventually and regretted not ending it sooner. Be brave, you'll find someone who loves you again!
    Did you finally leave because you started liking someone else?
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