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Feeling lonely in second year and trying to make friends watch

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    (Original post by ellai17)
    I am currently in my second year of uni and I still haven't really made any friends. Although I get on well with my flatmates I just don't seem to be in the same situation as my old friends who are at different unis and seem to be constantly surrounded by friends and say they have a great time. (I know they only post the good bits on social media but they do seem to have lots of friends)

    I've joined societies but I do find it hard chatting in social situations however I've realised that people aren't going to come to me magically wanting to be friends and that I have to put myself out there and make an effort.

    So this is where student room comes in. I've been thinking about joining some websites to find some student friends but then realised I'm missing a great opportunity here and that so many other people on here are in the same situation as me and feel a bit overwhelmed with uni life and just want someone to chat to.

    So basically anyone feel like chatting? If there was enough interest we could even add people on facebook and have a bit group chat. I know it's not the same as talking in real life and we'd probably all live far away from each other but it might be a great way to meet new people?
    I think with TSR it can be difficult to build up a friendship with someone but just.. I dunno.. find people you like or seem to have things common in with and see what happens it's a bit easier in real life (though very overwhelming as a second year uni student, been there) and when it came to that I spoke to some new people on my course or in groups for example and okay, not all of them you click with but that's life.

    It's good that you get on with your flatmates though - can you think of how to pursue it further? With my flatmates we eat out, go to the cinema, watch football, watch a DVD, go shopping together sometimes...
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    (Original post by ellai17)
    I am currently in my second year of uni and I still haven't really made any friends. Although I get on well with my flatmates I just don't seem to be in the same situation as my old friends who are at different unis and seem to be constantly surrounded by friends and say they have a great time. (I know they only post the good bits on social media but they do seem to have lots of friends)

    I've joined societies but I do find it hard chatting in social situations however I've realised that people aren't going to come to me magically wanting to be friends and that I have to put myself out there and make an effort.

    So this is where student room comes in. I've been thinking about joining some websites to find some student friends but then realised I'm missing a great opportunity here and that so many other people on here are in the same situation as me and feel a bit overwhelmed with uni life and just want someone to chat to.

    So basically anyone feel like chatting? If there was enough interest we could even add people on facebook and have a bit group chat. I know it's not the same as talking in real life and we'd probably all live far away from each other but it might be a great way to meet new people?
    It sounds as though you may have social anxiety. I do not think it's a great idea to switch from real life to the online world to try and make friends. The best way you will make friends is in real life.

    Are you a naturally confident person who can walk up to people and introduce yourself? If not, then I suggest you do some things like volunteering at your unis open days, applicant days or just volunteering around your city or something. This way, it could build up your confidence in talking to random people and engaging in conversation.

    It's always hard making friends but it is never too late to do so. Do you have labs or seminars to meet other students in your cohort? If so, if you see a group or someone by their lonesome then why not go over to them and ask how they're getting on or ask if they could help you with something (regardless if you actually need help or not). This way you can integrate yourself to people that you recognise from your course. I also agree societies are not always the best way to meet people because often the 2nd or 3rd years will stick to their own and not actually speak to you and will leave you fending for yourself to make friends which I think is wrong of a society to do so.

    But, if you are finding it hard, then I suggest you make some arrangements with your flat and see if they want to see a movie together, maybe eat or celebrate ya'll freedom before deadlines and exams just to get the ball rolling.

    Or maybe look into seeing someone from your uni's wellbeing centre for some advice and tips on meeting new people without feeling worried about it.

    Good luck.
 
 
 
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