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    Hello,

    Hi I have just finished my second draft of my law personal statement. My teacher's feedback was that it is too dramatic and I have to tone it down. Also, my statement is all over the place (I don't really know how to solve this). The teacher who read it has a reputation for being too harsh with personal statements (I didn't know this at the time) and I don't know whether to take his advice or not.

    Will anyone be willing to help?
    Thank you.
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    It's hard to know what 'too dramatic' might mean without hearing detail that you shouldn't post online. But it certainly is a criticism that rings true to me. A lot of students go overboard on their (e.g.) 'unrelenting passion for justice' or such like, trying to make out that they have the noblest motives ever known in a law student. Admissions tutors will likely be reading it thinking, 'You mean you want to work at a Magic Circle law firm?' So if you overdo the 'crusader for human rights' angle it will sound false. Much better to major on where your academic interests lie and why, and to include some original thoughts on those areas.

    I hope this is on the right track! If not see if you can specify a bit more closely what's dramatic about it without posting any actual content.
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    (Original post by nicolecampos)
    Hello,

    Hi I have just finished my second draft of my law personal statement. My teacher's feedback was that it is too dramatic and I have to tone it down. Also, my statement is all over the place (I don't really know how to solve this). The teacher who read it has a reputation for being too harsh with personal statements (I didn't know this at the time) and I don't know whether to take his advice or not.

    Will anyone be willing to help?
    Thank you.
    Please do not send your PS to anyone on the internet you don't know or post it on the internet. You can submit your statement to our free service for a review and try our PS builder tool (see below).
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    (Original post by Estreth)
    It's hard to know what 'too dramatic' might mean without hearing detail that you shouldn't post online. But it certainly is a criticism that rings true to me. A lot of students go overboard on their (e.g.) 'unrelenting passion for justice' or such like, trying to make out that they have the noblest motives ever known in a law student. Admissions tutors will likely be reading it thinking, 'You mean you want to work at a Magic Circle law firm?' So if you overdo the 'crusader for human rights' angle it will sound false. Much better to major on where your academic interests lie and why, and to include some original thoughts on those areas.

    I hope this is on the right track! If not see if you can specify a bit more closely what's dramatic about it without posting any actual content.
    Yes this has been very helpful! Thank you so much
 
 
 
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