Turn on thread page Beta
    • Thread Starter

    I started studying mathematics at the university this September and I'm HATING it. I was going through the motions of getting the maths, further maths and chemistry a levels without realising that I used to LOVE writing essays in English and found written exams fun!

    I also suffered through a lot of trauma at home and mental illness has marred my studies throughout my life and this is definitely affecting me hugely at uni. Getting my a levels was like fighting a war; at the time I was moved into supported living with abusive staff and then put in a psych ward. I worked SO hard just to get out of that situation, but it was miserable and now I realise I have little passion for maths.

    I have probably attended fewer than half my lectures and sometimes struggled to just get up and function because of my severe depression/anxiety. I'm also totally at a loss with organising my work and everything is a mess. I can understand most of the material, but even then I'm just thinking 'who cares?' and I feel completely outpaced by my peers who seem to grasp everything intuitively. ESPECIALLY my programming module. I have no ****ing clue what is going on.

    There are no places in any of the courses I want to do and I honestly feel like if I don't defer and try to power through I still won't pass because I'm in such a bad place mentally. I've overdosed 8 times in the past year and struggle with drug dependence (things like valium just to black out all the horrible **** in my life, and uppers to get my motivation up from zero). But if I did defer, I would DEFINITELY not want to go home. I wouldn't even be allowed to my actual home, only a supported living unit.

    I really would rather be doing PPE, psychology or neuroscience because they all represent my interests better. Ironically, I lean towards humanities subjects but I'm doing maths.

    Any advice on what I should do? Anyone else been through similar experiences?
    • Very Important Poster

    Very Important Poster
    Have you talked to your personal tutor?
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: November 9, 2016
How are you feeling about GCSE results day?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.