How can I deal with being ignored and not taken as seriously as others? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
I've always enjoyed my own company, liked to do things on my own and had very few friends. The thing is though even when I try to make friends through putting effort into asking people about themselves they would much rather talk to other people. I'm a mature student now and it is still the same. Even with family I often get referred to in the third person even when I'm present. If I'm having a conversation with a family member they will sort of look at someone else and talk about me in a differ tone than they spoke to me in. My ex bf was a lot older than me and is the only man I've ever been asked out by. He used to say that I talk like a child more than an adult in the words I say and that when he is around me he has to kind of 'come down to my level'. I do t really have the adult jargon that people have and am not creative with words. I don't get much enjoyment from drinking like everyone else seems to.

I've never socialised much which doesn't help but I've had no social circle around me. Quite a few people my age have kids and are married but not me, I have pet rats instead. I suppose I am quite childish but I can have serious intellectual conversation and think that I can be a good friend but I'm not given the chance. Thinking all the way back to college I was reading my leavers book the other day and it consisted mostly of comments saying 'didn't really know you much but wish you all the best in life' or ' didn't get to know you you were dead quiet but you seem a lovely person and I wish you well' and 'don't really know you that well but good luck in the future'

Most people didn't know me, only my few and far between close friends who if I may say have had odd characters themselves (one had aspergers and collected light bulbs). She's an awesome girl though. What I'm trying to say is that I've never had a typical friend lol. People who have got fairly close to me say I'm quirky and think I'm funny but yea my problem is they would much rather have general conversation with anyone else around them than me. I'm ok with new people and find that they take me seriously at first but then after a while (although they don't seem to dislike me) they seem to drift away and prefer to talk to/ are able to relate to others a lot more.

It has started to annoy me though as many people in my uni class will joke and laugh with others but me. I'l ask them something and they'l just reply with a serious 'yes' or a sentance then go on to banter with someone else. Another girl is quiet like me but very intelligent and people are so friendly towards her daily but they totally ignore me. She's quite a lot younger than me yet she comes across as way more experienced and sensible than me. I feel annoyed that people have these close friendships with each other and I don't. I do people favours, lend them money, give them lifts but still people would rather talk to others.

Just wanted advice. It's a good job that I like my own company but I can't stop feeling annoyed and left out all the time. I guess I appear quite miserable and within myself a lot but I've really tried to change this by smiling at people more and taking an interest but I don't seem to get anywhere with it. People have there own tight friendships and cliques and I've never been part of these and can't break through into them.
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Polka_Specs
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#2
Report 2 years ago
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You sound just like me , hopefully we'll bump into each other one day.

I find having a creative hobby helps wonders.
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SoulfulTwist
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Some of this reminds me of myself
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