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What do I do to be in a likelier place to attract both academic and attractive girls? watch

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    (Original post by Wisefire)
    I don't feel valuable enough a human to have the life with others I dream of.

    I don't feel intelligent/capable enough to do as well as I want to do academically, nor do I feel naturally attractive enough.

    And, currently, I am hardly my best. My education level or level of qualifications isn't too great right now, and I am a bit fat.

    I'm uneducated, I'm fat, I'm clearly ****ing not desirable or alpha enough for what I want and I do have control over this. I can change that, should I study hard and go to the gym often.

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    Just so you know, practically everyone feels like that

    I used to think I was rly ugly (when actually apparently I'm attractive). I felt horrible, walking around thinking I was way more ugly than the rest of the world. But eventually, after many influential ppl (such as my mum, etc.) said I wasn't, I decided to believe them, and have felt better since This isn't just the case with appearance - it goes for everything. You can't see yourself the way everyone else can. If ppl think you're a great person (which they may not say, but show by hanging around you) then you probably are Anyway, I don't think anyone is rly as bad as they think they are!
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    confident
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    Shift your priorities. Focus on doing something you like, you'll get less anxious about screwing up with girls and you'll feel way more confidence. Best place to meet academic and attractive girls is places like student bars, coffee places, arts scene, doing certain jobs.
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    Try and meet girls at uni
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    Changing your entire attitude and mindset would be a start, you come across very poorly.

    How can you realistically set expectations for what potential partners have to be when you acknowledge you're nothing similar?
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    (Original post by Wisefire)
    I feel a massive amount on doing as well as I want to academically and on developing a fitter, leaner, slimmer and overall more attractive body. I don't want to be in a humiliating sort of a situation work-wise, which is another matter to this matter I have made this thread for. The matter I have made this thread for is on how I want a strong and rich social and sex life with nice girls. I want to be around, not feel insecure around and indeed be a more valuable person for somewhat intelligent or interesting, but by and large somewhat academic, and attractive people, so by that I mean women, who are of these qualities.

    I search on social media for academically succeeding or better brought up and attractive girls. I've come to understand that this is not so much about 'intelligence' as it is about those who are rather academic. I want to be around academic and/or attractive people, men and women.

    How do I penetrate myself more amongst and, lmao, I guess inside of the more academic and more attractive women of this world? Seriously, well, what, this personal feeling does greatly bug me and I am fine with openly sharing it. It means an awesomely great deal to me. A lot of my happiness would come from this.

    I am totally right to think my only answers for this desire are to work hard on my education and on my body in the gym?
    Your whole attitude sucks:

    You have very unrealistic expectations and are fixated on socially constructed physical attributes.
    You have a highly egocentric bordering on narcissistic personality.
    You treat the opposite sex as something to be used and to massage your fragile ego.

    In other words, any intelligent woman would run away in the opposite direction - very fast.
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    "What do I do to be in a likelier place to attract both academic and attractive girls?"

    The two are mutually exclusive?

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    (Original post by Wisefire)
    I feel a massive amount on doing as well as I want to academically and on developing a fitter, leaner, slimmer and overall more attractive body. I don't want to be in a humiliating sort of a situation work-wise, which is another matter to this matter I have made this thread for. The matter I have made this thread for is on how I want a strong and rich social and sex life with nice girls. I want to be around, not feel insecure around and indeed be a more valuable person for somewhat intelligent or interesting, but by and large somewhat academic, and attractive people, so by that I mean women, who are of these qualities.

    I search on social media for academically succeeding or better brought up and attractive girls. I've come to understand that this is not so much about 'intelligence' as it is about those who are rather academic. I want to be around academic and/or attractive people, men and women.

    How do I penetrate myself more amongst and, lmao, I guess inside of the more academic and more attractive women of this world? Seriously, well, what, this personal feeling does greatly bug me and I am fine with openly sharing it. It means an awesomely great deal to me. A lot of my happiness would come from this.

    I am totally right to think my only answers for this desire are to work hard on my education and on my body in the gym?
    It's easy become the Batman.
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    (Original post by Wisefire)
    I'm not "nothing similar", lol.

    That exact thinking and its associated inferior complexes of being 'nothing similar' is what has been ruining me, should not by any means be supported by anyone about anyone, and is, literally, wrong anyhow. You've said I am "nothing similar" based on my self-deprecating words and not through knowing me, lol.

    I am not the most educated currently, having stooped low over the past two years due to a particular mental state I've been in, but I am picking myself up now and am building upon that, by currently working to get to great universities through an Access course. I also go to the gym regularly. I've gone from 74.5kg to 62kg in about a bit over a year. I do look visibly slimmer nowadays. I have goals within the gym.

    I need to work on and am manifestly about my education and on my physical fitness. I'm well aware of and I care pretty much solely about these two aspects to life.

    In terms of what is bugging me (to make it clear, the feeling that not my level of education but my intelligence, and also not my soon-to-be fit body but my natural looks or face, so things which are genetic, that I cannot improve upon much, will limit me from having the sort of life I wish for), well, I am told I am actually rather naturally good looking, a 7.5/10, and I'm not stupid. I am not awesomely bright, but both I and others who are definitely significantly more intelligent than I am and who understand the system of education better than I do, such as my old head of sixth form, believe I am capable of getting into a good university. I had offers from Manchester and Nottingham having not worked much on the AS' which got me those offers over two years ago. Now I am working I suppose fairly hard.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Listen to this and feel better :

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9ZHY1ehUgc
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    OP what do you feel is the purpose of living? Does something as trivial as money and a good looking partner really matter to one's soul and their spiritual/mental well-being? I am someone who went down a similar route at that age, fretting over grades, getting into oxbridge or good unis, worrying about weight and looks. I was so superficially minded that I had a existential and also spiritual breakdown right at the beginning of my first year @ LSE. Which is symbolic considering the amount of people who apply to LSE, not because of the excellent academics and resources, but at the chance of being financially successful after the degree.

    I'd say work on your soul and purpose before you go into a 'great uni'.
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    (Original post by Wisefire)
    I might've not made it clear but, people, this is HARDLY about wealth either.

    Sure, wealth can lead to, say, debauchery and general privileged sex.

    I care about being quite a man, improving, knowing more, having firmly made something notable of myself in education.

    I would agree with that last theme you're getting at, on creating genuine interests and work (study) purposes.

    I don't want to be 'rich'. I want to be really quite highly educated and to have a fit body.

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    I'm sorry if I misunderstood you :s
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    (Original post by Wisefire)
    Is it unrealistic to want a 7/10 girl who goes to a Russell Group university?
    Yes, because as mentioned, it means you're just objectifying them.

    And you do know that going to university doesn't make you intelligent, right? They're not the same thing at all.

    It's these false equivalencies and irregular mindsets that makes it sound like you're going about things the wrong way and for the wrong reasons.

    You come across appallingly shallow. Until you remedy that attitude*, nothing else you do will matter.


    *And attitude being something that only time and experiences fix, not education, not what you look like...

    (Original post by Wisefire)
    Like, surely if I am a success in education which is entirely down to what I do with my life and its time and if I look as good as I can look I will not be lonely, and I would probably have the company of pleasant female friends?
    Certainly.

    If your life is being scripted for a TV show...
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    OP, what are you trying to achieve? Can you summarise what you've just said in a sentence, please?
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    (Original post by Wisefire)
    These two aspects to life are all I think about, because I am obsessed by an idealistic sort of a situation I want with other people
    Therein lies the problem.

    Until you gain a realistic idea of what life is you'll never be happy.

    Obsession is never healthy. You won't find any kind of comfort or happiness the way you're going.
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    (Original post by Drewski)
    Changing your entire attitude and mindset would be a start, you come across very poorly.

    How can you realistically set expectations for what potential partners have to be when you acknowledge you're nothing similar?
    good points

    in terms of access tio the people , how about Musical Theatre ? quite a few Universities/ SUs have Musical theatre / Gilbert and Sullivan societies ...
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    Most of the replies in this thread don't make any attempt to answer the OP's question.

    First, train hard in the gym. You don't have to be ripped to be confident but looking good will certainly help. You don't have to wait until you're ripped to start dressing well either. Save some money and buy nice clothes - do you know any girls or fashion-conscious men who will take you shopping? They don't even have to be expensive - just smarten up and start investing some effort in how you look.

    Second, read widely as a path to becoming "cultured". Get the best qualifications you can and then choose whatever course interests you most at the university with the highest entrance requirements you can get into. Most of the attractive and academic females aged 18-21 in the UK are on university courses where many (if not most) will be meeting their future life partners during that time as well. Once you are part of a campus community, you can set about finding the person that you click with and who likes you back.

    Third, get married, have kids, stop reading, and then get fat again. That's the stage I'm at now so can't tell you what comes next.

    Good luck.

    PS. Stop stalking girls you don't know on Facebook - it's creepy !!
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    You seem to be shaping your entire life around meeting a certain type of girl. This is not a TV show and life does not happen like that, moreso you will only disappoint yourself if you are the one always seeking someone else, seeking some validation to live/be happy etc.
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    Chose like a gender studies degree. Can't guarantee you'll be around attractive girls and probably not intelligent but at least the male to female ratio is like 1:50
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    (Original post by Wisefire)
    Simply, I am extremely lonely, and I want the best for myself. That means doing what needs to be done to get into a satisfying course at a satisfying university, generally learning and attempting to improve, and tending to my fitness. I am desperate and desperately sad over getting myself into a good university, e.g. Manchester, Nottingham, Durham or UCL, four universities I will be applying to in the next month with an Access to HE Diploma in Business Studies.
    There's nothing wrong with trying to ''improve'' yourself as a person, but you are placing too much happiness in external things. You need to be aware that the university you get into is not the be all and end all, a relationship is not the be all and end all, whether you're super in shape is not the be all and end all etc.

    You will never be happy if you always get setting yourself bars to aim for.
 
 
 
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