Not making friends at uni - help or advise please :/
I am into my 7th week of my first year at university, I have started to feel quite down as I haven't made close friends apart from the one person I knew before I came to uni from back home who is here with me.
My flat and I get along well, however they are completely opposite to me, they have little interest in what I like to do on a night out and listen to different music. in addition to this I feel kind of separated from my flat as I am the only white English born person and the other 5 are of a other but same race and seem to keep them selfs to them selfs and not really invite me out to much with them ( I have made efforts to great lengths to go out with them on nights out, but we don't have the same interests really).
From my course I have made some friends but not to the extent of which I had at home before I came here, I could chat to them during lectures or seminars but am distanced from them outside of the sessions. Also, I find my self sitting alone in lectures and seminars doing work by myself, as much as I try to get involved with other in group work because groups of other friends have become so clique I struggle to have a social input.
I have joined the rugby society and enjoy playing however, the seniors are a close group of friends and freshers don't seem to be as close or hang or with each other outside of the rugby session. My further struggle of making friends isn't helped through rugby as every game or social event involves freshers doing imitations or challenges that I'm uncomfortable with doing and when I have refused to partake I have been left out of the group and felt quite alone as most other freshers are willing to go ahead with some of the tasks/ challenges. This had led me to skip some games and rarley attend the social event as I don't enjoy it.
I'm not sure what's wrong really??? Back at home I was very well connected with a huge range of friends and close friends, and was able to make new friends fast but since coming to university I have really struggled. This is making me consider if I should quit or not as most people including my one and only friend have set out the friends who they are housing with for the second year and I am left by myself without really anyone I could look at moving in with.
If anyone has any advice or help it would be great as this is starting to drag on me and is always in my mind.
Thanks
My flat and I get along well, however they are completely opposite to me, they have little interest in what I like to do on a night out and listen to different music. in addition to this I feel kind of separated from my flat as I am the only white English born person and the other 5 are of a other but same race and seem to keep them selfs to them selfs and not really invite me out to much with them ( I have made efforts to great lengths to go out with them on nights out, but we don't have the same interests really).
From my course I have made some friends but not to the extent of which I had at home before I came here, I could chat to them during lectures or seminars but am distanced from them outside of the sessions. Also, I find my self sitting alone in lectures and seminars doing work by myself, as much as I try to get involved with other in group work because groups of other friends have become so clique I struggle to have a social input.
I have joined the rugby society and enjoy playing however, the seniors are a close group of friends and freshers don't seem to be as close or hang or with each other outside of the rugby session. My further struggle of making friends isn't helped through rugby as every game or social event involves freshers doing imitations or challenges that I'm uncomfortable with doing and when I have refused to partake I have been left out of the group and felt quite alone as most other freshers are willing to go ahead with some of the tasks/ challenges. This had led me to skip some games and rarley attend the social event as I don't enjoy it.
I'm not sure what's wrong really??? Back at home I was very well connected with a huge range of friends and close friends, and was able to make new friends fast but since coming to university I have really struggled. This is making me consider if I should quit or not as most people including my one and only friend have set out the friends who they are housing with for the second year and I am left by myself without really anyone I could look at moving in with.
If anyone has any advice or help it would be great as this is starting to drag on me and is always in my mind.
Thanks
Original post by jjenn
Have you tried joining any other societies? Why don't you ask some of the people from your lectures whether they want to go to the SU bar after or arrange to meet up to do some work together?
Yeah I've join some other societies but haven't really been welcomed as I've Joined after freshers and everyone seems to be in friendship groups and not too inviting. I've tried to go out with some of the people from my course but the ones I chat to aren't the type of people I could be good mates with, out of the 5 I talk with 2 of them I acc like the rest I talk to to not look alone ( I know it sounds bad )
I keep having to lie to my parents saying I'm really enjoying uni and making New friends when I'm not, I think it's just a run of bad luck for me
Hi im Chris, just wrote you a long message and hasnt sent😓
How you feeling? hope a little better.Which uni are you at?
Hi, ill try write what I said in first message.Apart from keeping up interests and hobbies which will lead to meeting people, historically the uni way to socialise is alcohol driven.Pubs and clubs arent everybodys scene I know.I got together with my ex when she moved from Norfolk to Liverpool.She spent the week studying and weekends id pick her up and wed go camping, watch a movie with a nice Dominoes.Im a bit older than she is and was worried shed get into a bad crowd, i.e heavy drinking, drugs or girls sleeping about.Luckily in her uni apart from odd noisy drunk she spent time with me.Her taste in music was different also.Dont try to make yoursrlf fit in.If people cant be bothered to get to know you then sod them as you seem a decent person.Before you know it youll be looking for decent tenants for a house share.Thats when my ex enjoyed things more.Please dont get down, Ive been through most things in one way or another so can offer some advice.anyway shhhhshhh why cant you sleep😛
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